Degrassi Junior High Reviewed

Degrassi Junior High Reviewed is a blog about the sometimes cheesy, a lot of times badly acted, but beloved Canadian 80's tv series. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who just loves Canadian melodrama. New reviews every week, on Mondays and Thursday's.

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Degrassi Talks: On Depression

This is it, the final segment of Degrassi Talks and you know what? Thank God for that. These episodes or whatever you wanna call them were so fucking depressing. And going by the title I’m going to have severe depression half way into this one.

degrassi talks on depression

Pre-credit opener: This guy who has his pony tail like Claude is talking about how this age and time, (1992) kids have it the worst to be growing up in. But shit, he would bust a nut if he could see how much crueler it is with the internet. Uh oh and suicide of course comes up. It’s funny how cheerful the theme song is and seeing the Degrassi crew running around like maniacs shoving a microphone into people’s faces.


So the host for this last one is Pat Mastroianni better known to the world at large as Joey Jeremiah. He’s going on about how different things can depress people. Even the environment. Really? I’ve never been depressed over the environment I’m in. Unless he’s talking about a shitty home life, than in that case, that’s a whole different kind of environment. He then goes on to list all the different symptoms of Depression. I would list them all, but I’m feeling really fucking lazy at the moment.

Degrassi talks host Pat Mastroianni degrassi talks on depression

This being Degrassi Talks it seems like they’re at a pier or some shit like that and they’re asking random kids what brings them down. This girl with a mushroom head tells one of the twins that the weather get’s her down. A few people mention the pain of losing a boy/girlfriend.

mushroom head

At that we get our first clip and it’s the episode from Degrassi High when Caitlin the ho dumped Joey for that asshole Claude. This girl goes on this stupid tirade about how people not caring about the environment get’s her down. If only she knew how polluted China is now, she would have a heart attack. Joey talks to this Indian looking guy named Dean and he’s going on about how the forest that he lived in has gone down hill and bears disappeared because of oil drilling. Really? The environment is going to be thrown into the episode on Depression? It doesn’t seem to fit, but goddamn it, Degrassi is going green!

dean 21

Caitlin then asks this really huge dweeb of a girl what makes her depressed and unsurprisingly, she says that rejection and failure’s. Next this twink of a kid starts talking about the in and out crowds and we can all guess which crowd he belongs to.


Holy shit, one of the twins is talking to this guy named Leith and he mentions how not only is he Chinese, but he’s also gay. That’s pretty fucking diverse, but too bad he was living in the world of 1992, when people weren’t more accepting of the gays. Anyways, he had a pretty shitty life because he was also a brainiac.

leith 23

This girl named Linda talks about how she used to buy a lot of fashion magazines and be intimidated by all the good looking, skinny models. No need to be fucking Einstein to figure this one out, she’s an anorexic and has really low self esteem. How much do you wanna bet that a clip of Kathleen going through that exact same thing is going to be shown at any moment? Anyways, Spike comes in looking like Garth still and she’s interviewing Linda about her life’s story. She mentions that she thought that she was a giant bore and that no one would like her. Poor thing, she’s obviously good looking, it’s a shame that she has such low self esteem about herself, but you would be surprised how many hot chicks are actually very insecure.

spike algar

This other girl, I didn’t catch her name cause I wasn’t paying attention says that Depression can also come about from parents being fucking assholes and putting their children down and making them feel like complete shit. And hey, that was the same girl that had the baby with that one guy who was all proud of himself for actually sticking around. Turns out that she has postpartum depression like a motherfucker.

carole 17

Joey comes back on camera and tells everyone how there’s a huge difference between being depressed for a few days and being depressed for a long period of time. We go back to Spike and it turns out that anorexic girl has been in the hospital a few times for it. I’m sorry, but the way people talk about the towns that they live in, it sounds like Canada is just full of little red neck mountain towns. No wonder a lot of Canadian teens are into drugs, booze and rock and roll.


The girl who just had the baby tells the camera that when she get’s down she does anything for attention. Including beating the shit out of her baby daddy Don. It sounds like she’s just a major pain in the ass. She’s lucky that guy stuck around. But I have a feeling they didn’t last long.

So the subject of suicide has finally reared it’s ugly head. And a lot of kids are talking about how they wish that if people are feeling that way that that person reach out and talk to them. We then cut to Snake talking to this guy who’s brother committed suicide. Snake asks if him he knew how depressed the guy was, but his brother says that he sounded really upbeat, so he had no idea what he was up to.

snake no tact

Our second clip is the scene from Degrassi High where Claude is giving Caitlin her rose before he went into the boys shitter and blew his fucking head off. We then get a Canadian fun fact that comes up while the scene is still going.

claude suicide fact

Wow, so it’s still going and the next scene is where Snake found Claude’s body completely transformed into the Headless Horseman. Oh no, Snake don’t do it! But yup he’s doing it. He’s trying to relate to the guy who’s brother killed himself by telling him what his character went through when he found Claude. And right off that bat he asks him if he felt any guilt about his brother’s death. Snake you asshole, talk about having no tact! But the guy mentions that he had an incredible amount of guilt about it. Goddamn Snake, he next asks him, “Did you love your brother?” If I were that guy I would have said, “Of course I did you fucking asshole, what do you think?!”


Holy shit, so that girl Carol who just had the baby is talking about having depression for most of her life and all of a sudden we get a freeze frame and Joey tells us that she actually committed suicide on May 15th, 1991. To get us more down, they show us a marriage license and of course her boyfriend Don is telling us how they were planning on getting married.

carole suicidemarriage licence

Joey comes back on camera and he tells us how angry and sad he felt when he was talking to Don. Well shit Joey, how do you think that poor bastard felt? He goes on to say that if you’re feeling really fucking down you should talk to someone, because there is always someone that will listen to you.

joey pissed

We come back to the gay Chinese guy and he’s telling us how there were actually some people that were cool with everything that makes him, him. Joey then asks this girl if she ever get’s depressed and holy shit. She’s so fucking perky it seems like she shits rainbows. And yeah, of course she says she never get’s depressed.

perky chick

The depressed anorexic girl tells Spike that they only had one family meeting, I think she said and she said it helped her immensely because things came out in the open. The Indian guy says that he discovered spirituality and learned to ask to get some help. And that’s where this episode ends. Hopefully these people are still around today. But you never know.

linda depressed
degrassi talks crew

Well there you have it. Degrassi Talks. Shit, I was wrong about them showing Kathleen’s clip. I’m genuinely surprised. But I’m so glad that I’m finished reviewing these because they are so fucking hard to write about. But coming up next is the School’s Out movie. So much happens in it, the Degrassi universe will never be the same again.


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Degrassi Talks: On Alcohol

So in this episode if you couldn’t guess already, we deal with Alcohol.

degrassi talks on alcohol

Pre-credit opener: Right off the bat we see this girl that looks like Marcie from Peanuts talking about the fact that teenager’s can become alcoholics too. This one indian looking dude starts talking about all the joy’s of drinking.


So of course Neil Hope aka Wheels is the host of this episode of Degrassi Talks. He mentions how Wheels and him have both been affected by alcohol. Wheels losing his nerdy parents to a lousy drunk driver and he lost his own father to a disease related to alcohol.

degrassi talks host neil hope

And going by how every episode of these have gone, they go around the country asking random people what their thoughts on the subject is. Yick asks someone, “Do you drink?” And what the fuck was he thinking?! It’s this nerdy girl who obviously is way too young for that shit. She says, “No, I’m only 11.” What was he on when he asked that question? Others say they do it for fun and other lameo’s say they don’t drink at all because “It’s bad!” Their words.

Degrassi Talks on Alcohol11 year old nerd

We get our first clip and it’s the Degrassi Junior High episode where Stephanie Kaye got drunk off her ass and made a fool of herself. Basically the point of the scene was to show that peer pressure is a motherfucker and that’s mainly the reason why people drink to begin with.

Wow the girl who looks like Marcie is actually named Teresa and she’s 17, but she totally looks 12. Anyways, Wheels says that she’s already an alcoholic. And what do you know, she goes on to say that she started drinking when she was 12 and she did it because it made her feel invincible.

kathleen teresa

The next question is why do people like to drink and basically this one girl says that it’s done mainly due to boredom because they live in a town called Whitehorse and there’s absolutely nothing else better to do. This cute looking chick named Rose explains that since they live all the way in the Yukon, alcohol is the only thing that the place has going for it and that everyone there practically drinks.


Joey then brings up the subject if having parents who drink make kids want to drink too. And the answer to that is, of course they do. Marcie’s clone Teresa says that her mom was a raging alcoholic and she picked up the habit when her dad left them. We get our next Degrassi Junior High clip and it’s the scene where Kathleen told her drunk ass mom about being on the stupid Quest For The Best team. Kathleen then starts to relate to Marcie about her character’s problems. Marcie goes on to say that she would get drunk off her ass before school started. But if she drank rum before 10 in the morning it would make her a pirate though.

scene from Degrassi Junior High

Wheels is hanging out with that Indian looking dude and he tells him all about how his mom is an alcoholic and his dad died from cirrhosis of the Liver due to drinking. Damn, even in reality Wheels has a rough life. The guy’s name is Nathan and he says that his parents are separated but he says that his mom lives in the next house over, so fuck! I don’t see the point of her leaving then. But I guess she had no where else to go, cause the place looks like a complete shit hole.

wheels and nathan nathan 18

Random kids start talking about the fact that a lot of their parents are drinkers themselves but they tell them not to be drinking. Maybe they have a point since you know, they’re underage. But what do I know? We cut back to Nathan and Wheels asks him how much he drank and he mumbles his answer. But thank God Wheel says, “You drank 4 days a week?” Or something like that. He mentions how he would start drinking as soon as he would wake up.

degrassi talks interviews

The next Degrassi clip is Stephanie puking her guts out. And that leads to people talking about all the side effects of people drinking. How could they not list the different kind of drunks there are? There are quiet drunks, happy drunks, annoying and mean drunks. Anyways we go back to Marcie and she mentions how she had to go to rehab and talks about having a physical done and she was completely fucked up physically due to being drunk off her ass all the time.

Nathan comes back on and mumbles something about someone falling down and they were completely messed up from it. Mercifully we cut to Spike and she’s talking to these heavy metal dudes and she asks them if alcohol kills. One of them says, “You can never drink too much.”

spike metal dudes

A newspaper with the picture of some kid comes on screen and Wheels mentions how he went drinking with some adults and he got so fucking drunk that he died at the age of 15 due to alcohol poisoning. The asshole metal guy says that alcohol can kill because if you drop your drink while you’re driving then you take your eyes off the road. I’m sure swerving all over the fucking place has nothing to do with it.

dead drunk kid

Man, this one is full of clips. We get the scene were Clutch wanted to drink and drive but luckly his big foreheaded nerd of a friend Paul takes his keys and insists on driving to Lucy’s. And yeah, predictably this leads to the question of whether the people being ambushed by the Degrassi Talks crew have ever tried to drink and drive before. This moron mentions how one of his friends got drunk and crashed and he says, “It was really cool.”

cool moron

Ok, these are really hard to write and they are such bummers to write about. So fuck it, I’m just going to just summarize the rest of this episode. This girl mentions how they went out to get some KFC and some drunk hit their car and her mom died and she ended up in a wheel chair. Tragic I know. Turns out she has a twin and she had a lot of anger towards her at first because her twin sister could walk and she couldn’t.

missy 20

The scene goes to this guy named Micheal and Wheels is asking him how the party he went to was. I don’t know why he wants to know this info for. But ok. The guy says that they wanted to impress these two losers older guys. I would have asked them why they were hanging out with a bunch of teenagers for. He goes on to say that they tried to leave and immediately crashed the car and he basically killed the passengers in the car with him. Ok, how is this guy not in prison for doing all that?


Wheels comes back on camera and he basically gives a bunch of Canadian teenager alcohol facts. We get the rest of the clip from when Clutch wanted to drive to Lucy’s. Marcie comes back on and she tells Kathleen how fucking hard it is to stay clean.

Nathan once again comes on mumbling again and I have no goddamn clue what he’s saying. Wish this thing came with some close captioning so I could understand. That girl Rose comes back on and she starts talking about an alcohol youth group that is in town for all the drunk teenagers they have there. So that right there tells us that it’s a huge fucking problem in her little neck of the woods.

wheels nathan 2rose youth group

At the end of this the twins start talking about how they started a group that’s basically students against drunk driving. The murdering guy comes back on after them and he’s telling Wheels how he wishes that he could take it all back. But shit, too little too late now. Oh! We hear this thud and it says that he was convicted and sentenced to pound me in the ass prison.

michael convicted

Wheels comes back on and talks about how alcohol has totally affected his life. It’s sad to think that that’s what took him out years later too. The twins come back with their final thoughts, kind of like Jerry Springer and they say that they know that teens are going to drink, but to just do it responsibly. Again, they’re talking to teens. They don’t know the meaning of the word.


Oh lord, so glad that I only have one more of these to review. They are such fucking downers, I can’t take it!! But at least Rose was a bit good looking, so that helped. Yup, I’m shallow like that.

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Degrassi Talks: On Abuse

Yes, it’s time for yet another horrific episode of Degrassi Talks. Going by the title today’s review is going to be really fucking hardcore.

degrassi talks abuse book

Pre-credit opener: Already I wanna slit my wrists because this girl is talking about what a terrible life she had and she would rather be dead than to continue going on. We see some other person talking about being abused but he has a really bright light in back of him so we won’t be able to see him. So he must be really messed up. We then cut to Matt I believe his name was, the guy who was in prison. Anyways, he says that if his step father were to hit him again he would just go off on his ass and beat the shit out of him.


The host for this one is none other than Rebecca Haines aka Kathleen. Of course she starts to talk about how her character was given the smack down by her mustached boyfriend. Before things get started she says, “Some of the stories we’re about to share with you are very disturbing.” I’m thinking this whole Degrassi Talks series has been very disturbing. But goddamn, let’s get the show on the road.

degrassi talks host rebecca haines

Caitlin and her crew are going around asking people when they think it’s ok to hit a kid. This nerdy native looking chick says that it’s never ok. This other girl who I remember was against gay people says that it’s ok to hit a kid when they’re misbehaving and that it’s not child abuse. Can’t say I’m surprised that she said this.

Degrassi Talks On Abuse

We go back to Wheels and that guy Matt who is in the big house. He’s telling Wheels all sorts of fucked up tales of when his step dad used to beat the hell out of him. Including having his pants down and just getting wailed on. He goes on to say that the beating was so bad that veins were actually sticking out. Geesh! We get our first clip of the series and it’s the Rick get’s his assed kicked by his poofy haired dad episode from Degrassi Junior High.

matt 20rick clip

The drug addict girl named Cathy is telling Yick all about how she got pregnant at 16 and had a miscarriage. Then the boyfriend started beating her and she continues to tell Yick all about how she got cracked ribs, black eyes. Man, she pretty much says that all of her boyfriends have hit her at this point.

yick cathy

We get another clip and it’s the scene where Scott is beating the shit out of Kathleen in the class room from Degrassi High. As she’s on the floor we get a Canadian abuse fact.

kathleen clip

Yick then brings up emotional abuse and asks people what they think it is. This black dude starts saying that it’s from when parents tell you shit like, you’re no good, you’re never going to be anything. Poor bastard.

Oh my lord! They’re now talking to this girl named La’Quita and she has Cerebral Palsy. Kathleen mentions how she went through a lot of years of abuse from her parents. This is one of the most fucked up thing we’ve heard yet. She continues to say that her parents acted like she wasn’t a part of their family and even tried to hide her away. She claims she was just in her room for about 8 months. Caitlin goes on to ask her what her parents did to make her feel bad. What is she a sadist or something? I know I wouldn’t want to know the details. But La’Quita basically tells her that they treated her like complete shit and they wished she wasn’t around.


The girl Cathy is telling Yick how she would rather be hit than get abused emotionally. That’s when you know that someone is really fucked up. Matt continues his thoughts of saying that the scars of emotional abuse run far deeper than being physically abused. He goes on to talk about his drug addiction and how he got caught stealing to support his habit.

matt locked up

Uh oh. We’re moving on to the subject of sexual abuse. They ask this kid who looks like he got his entire wardrobe from the Bugle Boy catalog. Anyone else remember Bugle Boy? Anyways, he says that it’s when some touches someone else in a really bad place and says that it’s totally wrong!

bugle boy

Kathleen is talking to this girl and just by how she’s telling her story, you can tell that it’s difficult for her to go through it. I know it’s difficult for me to keep reviewing this episode. Because goddamn! The subject of forced sex comes up and this chick basically said what I was thinking, that it’s rape. As the girl is telling her story of being raped you can tell that Kathleen wants to cry.

kathleen rape story

We get another disturbing story of this chick telling Spike all about being groped by this neighbor that she knew. And shit, I swear Spike has the worst hair ever. She look’s like fucking Garth Algar from Wayne’s World.

spike garth algar

Yick then asks this guy that looks like a young Chris Pontius from Jackass if it’s possible for girls to abuse guys and he says, “Most definitely.” And goes on to say that this girl is basically kicking his ass for any wrong answer that he gives her. What a bitch.

The next tale of woe is on this 18 year old dude named Peter and he’s telling Joey how a quite large babysitter asked him to hump and since his mom told him to do whatever the babysitter said, he said he had to do it. I don’t think it extended to this shit though. He goes on to say that she got the both of them naked and basically raped him with her on top of him.

peter fun fact

Oh shit, we cut to Caitlin and she’s totally showing off how fluent she is at speaking French. Through the translation she’s asking this guy named Mathieu when he was first abused and he said it happened when he was about 9 to 15 by his father. Man that’s a long ass time.

caitlin french canadian

In Vancouver they’re talking to this guy named Jim and it seems like he’s the one who wanted his identity to remain a deep long Canadian secret. He goes on to tell his fucked up story and how a friend of his dad’s forced him to go down on him and then left like it was nothing. Jim fucks things up though and loses all sympathy by saying that he started to abuse a friends cousin by forcing them to do all the horrible shit that he was forced to do.


Towards the end of this Kathleen comes back on camera and surprisingly tells everyone that two years ago she was date raped. No wonder she had that look on her face when that chick was telling her story of being raped. She goes on to say that she got counseling for it and that she’s stopped blaming herself. I gotta say, that was really brave of her to come out with all that in camera.

kathleen date raped

We go back to Jim and he’s telling the Degrassi Talks crew that he’s gotten into a group home I think and is getting help for his sick shit. But people like these, there is no helping them because they never change. The whole time Joey is talking to him on the beach I noticed that he’s covering his junk. He probably doesn’t want to give this sick fuck any ideas.

joey and jim the molestor

There you have it. The whole time I was watching this I was thinking, “Well this is horrible. Why do I wanna be here?” I so don’t wanna do any more of these, but I’m telling myself that there’s only two more terrifying editions of Degrassi Talks left, so why not at this point.

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Degrassi Talks: On Sex

Yes, it’s time for another edition of Degrassi Talks. But this time it’s on Sex! So I’m guessing that it’s going to mostly be young people talking about boning and how horrible their first time was. But we shall see.

degrassi talks book

Pre-credit opener: Oh so we open upon that gay dude Bentley showing people how to properly put on a condom on a, holy shit. A black dildo. But he’s very clinical about it, so that makes it ok! We then cut to another girl who is basically having Spike’s life. Only had sex once, got pregnant. Another girl talks about the fact that she can’t have any kids either. That sucks for her. We then see a couple talking about practicing safe sex and the fact that they love to fuck.

bentley black dildo

Of course the host for this one is none other than Amanda Stepto, better known in the Degrassi universe as Spike. She reminds us all how her character got pregnant at 14 and mentions how she thought it was unrealistic.

Amanda Stepto degrassi talks host

Uh oh, here comes Spike, Yick and Caitlin intruding on people and asking them very personal sex questions. Let’s see what these kids say. So right off the bat Caitlin asks, “So when is someone ready to have sex?” Of course we always get a lameo that says that it’s never ok for teens to have sex. So going by that, you can tell he never got laid in high school. This other girl believes in sex after marriage. Her husband to be is going to have the worst blue balls ever!

Degrassi Talks On Sex

Lucy is talking to this 16 year old chick named Vicky and basically she had the same story as Spike. Went up stairs with some guy and had unprotected sex with him. She claims that she was pressured into doing it. So basically she’s complaining about being stuck with a baby now, I love how we can hear a baby crying in the background to make the point even further. Wow, she was 13 years old when she had the kid.


Joey then asks a group of people if they’ve heard any myth’s about avoiding pregnancy. We hear the usual stupid shit like not being able to get pregnant in a swimming pool, if you jump up and down afterwards, or a cold shower. The biggest one being that you can’t get pregnant the first time you have it. That’s when they decide to cut back to Vicky and she’s totally bashing her baby daddy. I’m thinking, “Well bitch, hit him up with child support then.” Unless people don’t do that in Canada, they’re so polite!

sex myth's

We then get a scene from Degrassi High when Erica found out that she was pregnant and of course the subject of abortion comes up. People give their opinions whether it’s right or wrong. Way to stir the pot Degrassi cast members!

One of the twins Erica I’m assuming it is because she’s much looser than the other one starts talking to this girl named Alyssa and it seems like they’re on the roof of a house for some weird reason. Anyways, she talks about how she ended up getting pregnant and then decided to get an abortion. She mentions how she sort of wished that she had had the child but she also feels she doesn’t have to explain herself to others. Mainly the people at Degrassi Talks.

roof top talk

After some more people give their opinion on the subject we see Spike talking to this one chick that looks like Richard Pryor’s daughter Rain. Oh God! She’s trying to relate to her by talking about what the character of Spike went through. I don’t know why, but I always get embarrassed for them whenever they do that. But anyways, after she said that the chick named Shantih couldn’t be less interested in what happened to Spike.


She starts to say that she got pregnant when she was almost 19 years old. She mentions how she wanted an abortion but her mom pretty much talked her into adoption. Basically she says that she really wanted the baby, but knew deep down that she would have been a horrible mother and wouldn’t be able to take care of the kid.

We then cut back to Vicky and wah, wah! She’s just bitching about what a shitty life she has taking care of the kid instead of being able to go out and party. But that’s what happens when you have sex, pressured or not. She should have kept those legs shut like a well oiled bear trap. Now she’s bad mouthing the kid’s dad again and he pretty much never see’s him or gives any money to help out.

vicky changing diaper

The next conversation is basically some more Male bashing by the girls. But there are some dudes that speak up about it. One saying that there are a lot of guys that stick around but no one acknowledge’s them.

So after Man-Stomp 92, we go to some town called Red Deer and there’s a guy named Don that is actually with the girl that he got pregnant. He’s talking to Joey and he mentions that they talked about all the options that was available to them.

don joey

Oh shit, Spike then brings up a girl named Angie who is 17 and basically is a big ol ho! She says that she’s sexually active and never wears a condom. That’s pretty fucking gross. So she starts talking about the fact that she’s had many STD’s. That’s even more nasty. On that note the Degrassi crew goes around asking people if they know what an STD is and some of these people are pretty fucking stupid. One even asked if Gingivitis is one.


Angie starts to say that she can’t have babies due to all the STD’s that she’s gotten over the years and she really regrets not having the guy wrap it up. Or I should say guy’s.

The use of condoms comes up and this geek says that one should always use a condom or else you’ll regret it. Then he says, “Trust me I know.” But he’s lying his ass off, please! He couldn’t get laid if he walked into a women’s prison with a handful of pardons. This other dweeb girl basically says that if you don’t have a condom than you can’t bang her. We see the punk rock chick that was in another one of these and she mentions how a lot of women don’t like the use of condoms either because it’s not pleasant or spontaneous.

nerdette joey punk rock chick

Uh oh, Aids comes up and we cut back to Bentley again. Bentley is totally wise in the world of using condom’s. So pay attention to him motherfuckers. He says that using Vaseline destroy’s latex so you should never put some on a condom. He then starts to talk about how he contracted Aids and what do you know. He’s talking to Dwayne. I had no idea that he was involved with this shit too. But he has a leather Fonzie jacket on that just doesn’t work with him.


We then get another Degrassi High clip and it’s the one where Dwayne was getting tested for Aids/HIV. He then asks Bentley what he felt like when he found out that he was HIV Positive. Bentley says that he just said, “Oh, you’re sure?” And the doctor tells him that they did two sets of tests on him to make sure. He says that he was kind of surprised for some reason, just because it was free to do the tests. I don’t know why he thought that though.


See, I kind of had a feeling that this was going to turn all educational on us and go in the direction of safe sex. But I was still waiting for a good embarrassing first time sex story. But I guess we’re not getting any of that. The use of condoms comes up yet again and people say that they either use them or they don’t. And holy shit, what is up with Spike’s hair? It looks like she has a metal mullet thing going on.


Bentley goes on to say that one starts to think that you’re going to beat the disease or be able to help yourself to live healthier but then he mentions that every time a friend dies from it, that confidence goes right out the fucking window.

Haha, we then get the clip from Degrassi Junior High where Joey wanted to buy a box of condoms but was totally humiliated by that asshole cashier. Holy shit, this girl with really fucked up hair starts talking about needing condom machine’s in school. But she has no need for them. What cartoon did she crawl out of?

horrible hair

We go back to Joey and the young couple that have a new born baby. The guy asks Joey if he wants to help feed the kid, but of course Joey pussies out and says, “Nah, I don’t think so.” But then says ok. As soon as he takes her the baby starts to cry. The guy mentions how people are telling him to get off of welfare and get a fucking job already. But he feels he’s not going to be able to make enough, or something like that. I don’t know.

joey crying baby

Vicky once again is bitching about how hard it is to have a 2 year old baby. Spike then talks to Rain Pryor again and she mentions how she actually met the parents who adopted the baby that she gave up. It was awkward. Spike or Amanda if you will mentions that she herself is adopted. Wow. I had no idea. Rain then asks her if she would like to meet her biological parents. Amanda says that she would be up for it actually. But says, that they would have to want to meet her too.

spike adopted

We then go to this couple that enjoys to have sex, clean and safe sex. He looks like he has Wolfman Jack hair. I just noticed that both Spike and Joey are sporting shirts that says, “B.Y.O.C. Bring your Own Condoms.” If it was today it would have said, “Yo.”

spike byoc wolfman jack hair

Well that’s about it for this edition of Degrassi Talks. Too bad we didn’t get any good sex stories with all the horny details. But this is Degrassi and goddamn it, this is what we got. Something educational.

Some in blog news. Yes, I will be making a review of the very cheesy Degrassi movie School’s Out, but I wanna get Degrassi talks out of the way first. The School’s Out review will come out around the week of Christmas.


Degrassi Talks: “On Sexuality”

Once again we have another installment of Degrassi Talks. If Degrassi wasn’t hardcore enough for you, they gave us this.

Pre-credit opener: We see the actress who plays Tessa talking to Caitlin about having her first period. Apparently she was a late bloomer. We then see Joey talking about how embarrassed he was to talk to girls because let’s face it, he’s a short dude. And holy shit. We see this bald chick that looks jut like Caitlin but it’s not her. It’s her lesbian sister and she says that her adolescence was shitty, especially her high school experience.

caitlin's sister

Our host for this episode is non other than the beautiful Stacie Mistysyn. She starts talking about how hard it is to go to puberty.

degrassi talks

Right off the bat Kathleen, Yick and Wheels come up to people and totally just invade their privacy and asks them very TMI questions about what their memories of puberty were like. Even though you can tell that this dude is still going through it. This one chick talks about wanting to get her boobs because one of her friends developed before she did. Another guy says that he had a really bad pizza face. This one creep says that having pubes is great because you can play with them. What the hell?


We cut to talking to Snake and it says that he’s 19. He starts going on about being in a choir and he was a soprano, but since he was about 6′ 5” by the time he was 10 they made him into a bass instead. They talk to Pat, “Joey” and it says that he’s also 19. Since he’s a little pipsqueak his thing was that he was always down about his height. He mentions how he wanted his Dr’s to give him steroids so he would grow. I can imagine that he said, “I want to be big!” But of course he grew, even though he still is short.

joey caitlin

Stacie “Caitlin” starts talking to one of the twins, Angela. I don’t know which one it is, but it says that she’s 19 and she’s going on about how she was as flat as a board until she was 15 years old. Uh oh, we get our first Canadian health fun fact of the episode.

Ha! We then see a scene from Degrassi Junior High. It’s the episode where Melanie is looking at her pimple tits and insists to LD that she needs a bra. One of the twins is asking a girl if she remembers her first bra. Most of these stories are completely humiliating of course. Tessa tells her own story of humiliation, but as I’m listening to it, it kind of went no where. Some story Tessa.


Wheels then starts asking this goofy guy about getting hard on’s in school. The guy starts laughing hysterically. Which tells me that it probably still happens to him. This little kid then starts talking about how he got one in gym, in the shower. Yeah, that’s an awkward time to get one. I’m pretty sure this kid is gay, nothing wrong with that. This one guy says that he get’s one in church. What a freak.

jerk off guy

Oh lord we come to a clip of the time when Arthur was telling Yick about his nasty wet dreams.  Of course this leads to a discussion of wet dreams. Wheels then starts talking about how he had to change the sheets and didn’t want to tell his mom about it. That’s so gross. He must of exploded like Mount Vesuvius.


The subject of first periods then comes up. This one girl starts telling Caitlin about getting one while she was doing cart wheels in gym class. This other nerdy girl says that when she got hers, her mom went around and told her dad and brothers about it. Must have been a very boring day in that household. Tessa once again says that she was a late bloomer and was worried about her not getting it yet. Caitlin then mentions how it’s really a curse and no girl would want to get it.

Uh oh. Joey “Pat” brings up the subject of jerking off. Some dudes say the love it, while others are lying their asses off and say that they never do it. This moron with a terrible looking mullet says that it might hurt your chances of having a child later on in life. The dude that’s hanging out with Wheels starts talking about all the rumors that are associated with masturbation. One is that you were gay if you did it, or were a nerd. This one girl starts going off about the joy’s of it and says that her parents were cool with it.

mullet guy

Caitlin then starts talking about all the nasty shit that comes along with puberty. She then starts to mention how people started noticing the opposite sex. This guy is beating around the bush and you can tell he started to notice tits and ass. But he can’t articulate himself. I think the twin they’re talking to is Erica because she’s going on about how she didn’t notice just one guy, it was a group of them. I see how she she is now. Caitlin mentions how discussions amongst girls changed from sports to talking about dick.


We get another clip and it’s from the episode where Snake asked Melanie if she wanted to go see the Oscar nominated Revenge of the Reptiles. We cut to present day Caitlin and Snake and I love how she mentions how fucking awkward Snake always was to ask people out on a date. She asks him how he really is in real life in asking a girl out. It’s pretty clear that he and Snake are one in the same. He says that he doesn’t ask girls out, he wants the girl to make the first move. The way he’s talking to her, he looks shy as hell and he totally admits that he is. Joey “Pat” says that a girl once asked him to dance and he said that the guys were jealous of his height because the girl was so much taller than him, basically his face was buried in her tits and he loved it.

We then get to the subject of homosexuality. They then talk to various gay dudes and how it was hard for them to come out, but that most people knew already basically. Lucy randomly asks this one guy what his thoughts are on the subject and he says, “I think homosexuality is wrong and if you want to be a homo go some where else.” Man I bet he wants to send them to Siberia. This other girl says that it’s disgusting and morally wrong. This other white bread guy says that they should be put on an island and then drop a bomb on them. So yeah, a lot of homophobia back in the day. They would have a heart attack if they saw how much more open people today are.

homophobe guy homophobe girl


Snake is talking to one of the dudes and he mentions how his character on the show had a tough time dealing with the fact that his brother is gay. It’s kind of embarrassing that he would bring that up. If I was that dude I would have told him, bitch that was a TV show not real life. Going on, he asks the guy if he’s ever had to deal with homophobia and of course he has. He said that high school was really hard for him. He goes on to say how a PE teacher said that Homosexuality has no love and it’s all just based on lust.

snake trying to relate

The question about whether Homosexuality was taught at school comes up and almost everyone says no. Most of the stuff is about sex 101. Wheels asks the question if someone came out at school how they would be treated. This girl says badly, because a lot of people would be after them. This other guy says that they would be isolated. Another one says that he would be afraid of getting porked by said homosexual. The things people think and say. Amazing.

I knew this clip was coming. It’s the episode where Caitlin was having erotic lesbianic dreams about Ms Avery. Caitlin then starts talking about how when they filmed that episode that her own sister was dealing with the same shit that her character was.  We cut to her home and she asks her sister about how she felt when she saw the episode. Her sister by the way is Kim and it says that she’s 21. She say that it was really hard for her and that she had a crush on one of her teachers too.

kim stacie

This gay dude named Bentley starts talking about how hard it is to come out to people and how when you meet other people you’re coming out again and again. Back to Stacie and her sister she says that she was pressured to deny that she was a lesbian. She said that when she was in college she even slept with a guy because she was in denial with herself.

The subject of why people are afraid of gay people comes up and this chick says that it mostly comes out of ignorance and I think she’s pretty spot on there. One guy says that a lot of people think that if they hang out with a gay person that they’ll become “homo” too.

Stacie’s sister Kim then goes into this really disturbing story about how she’s in charge of this gay group at her school and how she put fliers all over the school. She mentions how someone put their own fliers up and wrote, “Bring bats, clubs or any other weapons capable of severe mutilation.” “Hooray for aids.” Man people are straight up fucked up and even Stacie can’t contain her disgust on hearing that. Her sister mentions her fears of someone actually trying to hurt her or others.

caitlin sister 2

The episode now sounding like an episode of Hard Copy starts showing a news paper article about a librarian who died because of a result of “queer bashing”. Of course this little piece wouldn’t be complete with out the disturbing music they added. The gay dude with Snake says that he was in classes with a couple of the guys who killed the librarian. Kim starts saying that one of her friends is afraid for her because she feels that she puts out her lesbianism way too out there for people. She says that she would rather live a short happy life being who she is than having a long invisible life.


The subject of falling in love comes in and Snake starts going on about how he fell in love with his best friend. Me being nosy I was telling the screen, “Well who was it motherfucker?” But of course he didn’t answer. Joey, “Pat’ says that his first time with love was really painful for him, but he says that he’s ready to fall in love again.

stacie host

Stacie comes along and says that while you think that it’s just you going through all this bullshit you’re not alone. Random people then start giving advice on how to conquer puberty. The final words come from the dude that was with Snake and he says, “Just remember, you are who you are.”

So yeah, these stories are really fucking disturbing. This was the most disturbing episode of Degrassi Talks yet, but I have a feeling that it’ll get even more hardcore in later installments.


Degrassi Talks: “On Drugs”

This is the first of 6 parts of a little series called Degrassi Talks. In case Degrassi wasn’t educational enough for us, they gave us this. Basically various cast members went around Canada bothering people asking them questions about whether they smoke weed, have sex,  unprotected sex, drinking, abuse and whether dudes jack off into a sock or not. If you thought Degrassi was hardcore it pales in comparison to Degrassi Talks. Because Degrassi Talks actually uses real kids and young people. Each special or episode is hosted by different cast members. I think they chose them because their character went through something similar on the show. That or they had nothing better to do.

Wow they even made books of the series too. Here’s the one on drugs.


Just one thing, for those of you who are new to the series, these episodes some times give away plot points on future episodes. If you don’t give two shits, then by all means, go on ahead. But for the rest of you, you’ve been warned.

degrassi talks on drugs

Pre-credit intro: Right away this dude starts talking about the fact that in a week he went through a 1000 dollars for drugs. Goddamn that Joey and his New Zealand Zappers! After a cheap looking wipe, we come to this dude talking about a binge he went on. Another wipe and this chick is saying that at ten years old she did a line of coke with her mom. Jesus. Already this is fucking intense. Basically it’s one person after the other telling their drug stories, if I try to repeat everything I’d be here all day long so fuck that.


So the stirring theme song comes on and I’m already laughing my ass off. It’s pretty lame. Check out the lyrics, “We’ve all got our problems but can’t always solve them we need someone to listen cause we all need some talkin’ no time to ignore but we’ve got to explore we can’t have it all the way let’s do this together I’ll talk to you and you’ll talk to me We’ve got to reach out to set us free Degrassi Talks!” Plus it’s sung by none other than Stacie Mistysyn and Keith White. Better known as Caitlin and Tim (Tracy Morgan). Basically the opening credits is just footage of the cast traveling to various places and shoving a microphone in people’s faces.

caitlin tim
degrassi talks

The host for this episode is Siluck Saysanasy, better known as Yick Yu. No wonder they picked him to host this one, he looks like a burn out already. He says that Yick experimented with different lifestyles including getting fucked up on drugs. But I don’t remember him doing anything else. Unless he and Arthur did some other shit they never showed.

yick host

So they start asking different kids if they’ve done any drugs. We get a few lameo’s. Including one that says, “Drugs are stoopid.” In the Yukon we see Yick talking to some 18 year old chick named Cathy. She basically starting using drugs because she wanted to fit into an older crowd. Shit! Right out of the gate she did some acid and mushrooms, after that 2 month plan she moved onto cocaine. A lot of this is interspaced with video footage of different kids talking about their theories on why one does drugs. Including peer pressure, and wanting to have a good time.


It seems like Michelle is talking to some black dude dressed like a cowboy in a letterman jacket. Guess he was so stoned out of his mind, he didn’t know what look to go for. Anyways he starts talking about the fact that he started smoking weed. It got so bad that it was a daily habit and he compares it to getting up in the morning and brushing your teeth.


We then cut to this 22 year old named Matt. He says that he started doing drugs to escape his problems. And holy shit, we get a wide shot and it seems Matt is in the big house for various drug related charges. Wheels is in there with him rocking his Bon Jovi hair. Basically the guy had a lot of problems at home with his step father and he loved being high cause then he would forget about all his bullshit. They cut the interview with some footage of Yick talking to some burn outs. He asks them, “What first comes to mind when I say drugs.” This chick says, “I guess having fun.”

wheels the joint
wheels bon jovi hair

So yeah at this point, this entry is getting pretty hard to write because these people are real fucked up. Caitlin’s talking to some girl who’s parents were heron addicts, oh it’s the chick who did a line of coke with her mom. The mom reasoning that if she’s going to do drugs, she wants her to do it under her roof. I love how the mom is trying to be a little responsible by having her be at home while she’s getting high on some hard core drugs.


We get what I call Canadian fun facts, the drug edition. It’s basically text superimposed over the girls face and it says, “Large doses of cocaine or crack can cause violent behavior, convulsions, and sudden death.” Basically shit that everyone knows at this point.

You can tell this was done like in 1992 because the fashions just give it away. The girl Cathy says that her drug addiction got so bad that she started living in the mean streets of Vancouver. Ew, she said she even shared needles with drunken bums. But she didn’t care because she just wanted that fix. Matt reveals that crack causes you to become instantly addicted. Wheels is just nodding his head the whole time.


I think one of the twins is asking different kids the same thing Yick asked the burn outs. Which is, “What is the first thing that comes into your mind when I say drugs?” This girl says, “Illegal Drugs.” This other kid says, “Crack.” Others say, “Trouble.” Holy shit we get a shot of Canadian Judah Friedlander. And this guy with his neon clothes is saying that he used to do solvents. Even sniffing some gasoline.  Then we get another fun fact.

canadian judah
fun fact

Joey is then seen talking to some Indian guy from Winnipeg that looks like a taller version of himself. According to Yick this guy was a solvent abuser. He says that it’s a big problem in the native community. Oh man, I just noticed that they’re all wearing Degrassi Talks t shirts. I feel so embarrassed for them. Then we get to some guy talking about the fact that they would use solvents because they were too poor to afford real drugs. The injun says that if they wouldn’t have found him when they did, he would have been dead meat. Then we get another Canadian drug fun fact.


Haha, we then get a scene from Degrassi High. It’s the one where BLT was confronting Michelle over using caffeine pills. Then she starts talking about how her character abused them. The black dude starts laughing and said, “Didn’t they do that hilariously on Saved by the Bell with Jessie crying?” “I’m so excited. I’m so excited. I’m so… Scared!” But no he says that he was prescribed some shit for being hyper. I guess he shared his meds with his rugby team and they got super juiced.

michelle interview

This punk rock chick is talking about the fact that this is a drug culture and that everyone uses them to some degree. Others basically talk about prescription drugs and then we get another fun Canadian drug fact.

punk chick

Some kids gang up on Yick and confront him over his joy of smoking cigarettes. Yick tells them that he enjoys smoking and that he’s addicted to it. We then cut to him sitting in front of Degrassi High talking to the camera. He admits that he was put on the spot when that little shit called him out. Yick should have said, “I don’t have to explain myself to you, you little turd.” But from what he’s saying, he basically can’t stop and that one should never pick up the habit. I guess he’s a smoking fiend for life.

yick on spot
yick on spot 2

The issue of alcohol comes up and this guy says that he started drinking when he was 10 years old thanks to his parents. He says that he did it because getting drunk off your ass at the tender age of 10 is more acceptable than getting stoned off your gorge. We get another fun fact.

We then see Yick talking to the sister of the guy who started drinking young. She said that he moved on from that to drugs. She starts talking about what the ravages of drugs do to families. Yick looks really uncomfortable during this exchange. Yick then asks the guy what he thought of all the shit he put everyone through, but he said that when he was on his benders that he didn’t give a shit. This chick with really thick eyebrows starts talking about how her mom did some speed while pregnant with her and she was born an addicted baby. Geesh!

yick kitchen

We then cut to Yick in the Yukon with that one girl Cathy. She tells a story how at the age of 17 she was already a seasoned pro in doing drugs. She said that some dude asked her if she wanted to get high and just from seeing how he was doing everything she knew he didn’t know how to do jack shit, so she showed him. So wow, she said she was so disgusted at herself that she quit cold turkey right then and there. Even went back home I think.

yukon girl

So I’m thinking this is the recovery segment of this episode. Everyone is talking about how they finally managed to get clean and sober. Michelle being morbid wants to know how it was to get off and how bad it was. The guy says that it’s scary as fuck. The brother and sister duo start talking about how much better life is with out him being fucked up on drugs. Yick says, “Hug it out bitch”, so they do.

brother sister

Yick trying to look like a bad ass concludes this episode with some facts. He says that kids are using less drugs today (1992) than they did ten years ago. Who knows how this statistic is now. And holy moley! Caitlin is chasing these Asian people saying, “EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME!!” They finally stop their tandem bike, yes tandem and she asks them if she can ask them some really invasive questions about being naturally high. It’s a pretty lame question. Some people say playing Nintendo, going to the arcade to play some Street Fighter II. This white guy says that he likes to rap. He totally looks like Vanilla Ice. The Asians just love riding their tandem bike in the great out doors and talking to their parents. The Indian guy says that people need to take responsibility for their own actions. Which is true.

yick closing
caitlin maniac

The last person we see is Matt in prison saying that if he get’s released he’s going to get hooked again or do some other stupid shit. It’s a pretty sad never ending cycle for this guy. The episode ends with the theme song coming back on.


So yeah, I can imagine that they showed this in various health classes in schools all over the place. Who knows if anyone took it seriously, some things they talked about are things that most people know already. But you can all look forward to future installments of Degrassi Talks. Other topics covered include, depression, abuse, sex, alcohol and sexuality. Unless I don’t slit my own wrists, because this show is seriously depressing.