This is it, the final segment of Degrassi Talks and you know what? Thank God for that. These episodes or whatever you wanna call them were so fucking depressing. And going by the title I’m going to have severe depression half way into this one.
Pre-credit opener: This guy who has his pony tail like Claude is talking about how this age and time, (1992) kids have it the worst to be growing up in. But shit, he would bust a nut if he could see how much crueler it is with the internet. Uh oh and suicide of course comes up. It’s funny how cheerful the theme song is and seeing the Degrassi crew running around like maniacs shoving a microphone into people’s faces.
So the host for this last one is Pat Mastroianni better known to the world at large as Joey Jeremiah. He’s going on about how different things can depress people. Even the environment. Really? I’ve never been depressed over the environment I’m in. Unless he’s talking about a shitty home life, than in that case, that’s a whole different kind of environment. He then goes on to list all the different symptoms of Depression. I would list them all, but I’m feeling really fucking lazy at the moment.
This being Degrassi Talks it seems like they’re at a pier or some shit like that and they’re asking random kids what brings them down. This girl with a mushroom head tells one of the twins that the weather get’s her down. A few people mention the pain of losing a boy/girlfriend.
At that we get our first clip and it’s the episode from Degrassi High when Caitlin the ho dumped Joey for that asshole Claude. This girl goes on this stupid tirade about how people not caring about the environment get’s her down. If only she knew how polluted China is now, she would have a heart attack. Joey talks to this Indian looking guy named Dean and he’s going on about how the forest that he lived in has gone down hill and bears disappeared because of oil drilling. Really? The environment is going to be thrown into the episode on Depression? It doesn’t seem to fit, but goddamn it, Degrassi is going green!
Caitlin then asks this really huge dweeb of a girl what makes her depressed and unsurprisingly, she says that rejection and failure’s. Next this twink of a kid starts talking about the in and out crowds and we can all guess which crowd he belongs to.
Holy shit, one of the twins is talking to this guy named Leith and he mentions how not only is he Chinese, but he’s also gay. That’s pretty fucking diverse, but too bad he was living in the world of 1992, when people weren’t more accepting of the gays. Anyways, he had a pretty shitty life because he was also a brainiac.
This girl named Linda talks about how she used to buy a lot of fashion magazines and be intimidated by all the good looking, skinny models. No need to be fucking Einstein to figure this one out, she’s an anorexic and has really low self esteem. How much do you wanna bet that a clip of Kathleen going through that exact same thing is going to be shown at any moment? Anyways, Spike comes in looking like Garth still and she’s interviewing Linda about her life’s story. She mentions that she thought that she was a giant bore and that no one would like her. Poor thing, she’s obviously good looking, it’s a shame that she has such low self esteem about herself, but you would be surprised how many hot chicks are actually very insecure.
This other girl, I didn’t catch her name cause I wasn’t paying attention says that Depression can also come about from parents being fucking assholes and putting their children down and making them feel like complete shit. And hey, that was the same girl that had the baby with that one guy who was all proud of himself for actually sticking around. Turns out that she has postpartum depression like a motherfucker.
Joey comes back on camera and tells everyone how there’s a huge difference between being depressed for a few days and being depressed for a long period of time. We go back to Spike and it turns out that anorexic girl has been in the hospital a few times for it. I’m sorry, but the way people talk about the towns that they live in, it sounds like Canada is just full of little red neck mountain towns. No wonder a lot of Canadian teens are into drugs, booze and rock and roll.
The girl who just had the baby tells the camera that when she get’s down she does anything for attention. Including beating the shit out of her baby daddy Don. It sounds like she’s just a major pain in the ass. She’s lucky that guy stuck around. But I have a feeling they didn’t last long.
So the subject of suicide has finally reared it’s ugly head. And a lot of kids are talking about how they wish that if people are feeling that way that that person reach out and talk to them. We then cut to Snake talking to this guy who’s brother committed suicide. Snake asks if him he knew how depressed the guy was, but his brother says that he sounded really upbeat, so he had no idea what he was up to.
Our second clip is the scene from Degrassi High where Claude is giving Caitlin her rose before he went into the boys shitter and blew his fucking head off. We then get a Canadian fun fact that comes up while the scene is still going.
Wow, so it’s still going and the next scene is where Snake found Claude’s body completely transformed into the Headless Horseman. Oh no, Snake don’t do it! But yup he’s doing it. He’s trying to relate to the guy who’s brother killed himself by telling him what his character went through when he found Claude. And right off that bat he asks him if he felt any guilt about his brother’s death. Snake you asshole, talk about having no tact! But the guy mentions that he had an incredible amount of guilt about it. Goddamn Snake, he next asks him, “Did you love your brother?” If I were that guy I would have said, “Of course I did you fucking asshole, what do you think?!”
Holy shit, so that girl Carol who just had the baby is talking about having depression for most of her life and all of a sudden we get a freeze frame and Joey tells us that she actually committed suicide on May 15th, 1991. To get us more down, they show us a marriage license and of course her boyfriend Don is telling us how they were planning on getting married.
Joey comes back on camera and he tells us how angry and sad he felt when he was talking to Don. Well shit Joey, how do you think that poor bastard felt? He goes on to say that if you’re feeling really fucking down you should talk to someone, because there is always someone that will listen to you.
We come back to the gay Chinese guy and he’s telling us how there were actually some people that were cool with everything that makes him, him. Joey then asks this girl if she ever get’s depressed and holy shit. She’s so fucking perky it seems like she shits rainbows. And yeah, of course she says she never get’s depressed.
The depressed anorexic girl tells Spike that they only had one family meeting, I think she said and she said it helped her immensely because things came out in the open. The Indian guy says that he discovered spirituality and learned to ask to get some help. And that’s where this episode ends. Hopefully these people are still around today. But you never know.
Well there you have it. Degrassi Talks. Shit, I was wrong about them showing Kathleen’s clip. I’m genuinely surprised. But I’m so glad that I’m finished reviewing these because they are so fucking hard to write about. But coming up next is the School’s Out movie. So much happens in it, the Degrassi universe will never be the same again.