Degrassi Junior High Reviewed

Degrassi Junior High Reviewed is a blog about the sometimes cheesy, a lot of times badly acted, but beloved Canadian 80's tv series. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who just loves Canadian melodrama. New reviews every week, on Mondays and Thursday's.

Degrassi Talks: On Alcohol

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So in this episode if you couldn’t guess already, we deal with Alcohol.

degrassi talks on alcohol

Pre-credit opener: Right off the bat we see this girl that looks like Marcie from Peanuts talking about the fact that teenager’s can become alcoholics too. This one indian looking dude starts talking about all the joy’s of drinking.

marcie

So of course Neil Hope aka Wheels is the host of this episode of Degrassi Talks. He mentions how Wheels and him have both been affected by alcohol. Wheels losing his nerdy parents to a lousy drunk driver and he lost his own father to a disease related to alcohol.

degrassi talks host neil hope

And going by how every episode of these have gone, they go around the country asking random people what their thoughts on the subject is. Yick asks someone, “Do you drink?” And what the fuck was he thinking?! It’s this nerdy girl who obviously is way too young for that shit. She says, “No, I’m only 11.” What was he on when he asked that question? Others say they do it for fun and other lameo’s say they don’t drink at all because “It’s bad!” Their words.

Degrassi Talks on Alcohol11 year old nerd

We get our first clip and it’s the Degrassi Junior High episode where Stephanie Kaye got drunk off her ass and made a fool of herself. Basically the point of the scene was to show that peer pressure is a motherfucker and that’s mainly the reason why people drink to begin with.

Wow the girl who looks like Marcie is actually named Teresa and she’s 17, but she totally looks 12. Anyways, Wheels says that she’s already an alcoholic. And what do you know, she goes on to say that she started drinking when she was 12 and she did it because it made her feel invincible.

kathleen teresa

The next question is why do people like to drink and basically this one girl says that it’s done mainly due to boredom because they live in a town called Whitehorse and there’s absolutely nothing else better to do. This cute looking chick named Rose explains that since they live all the way in the Yukon, alcohol is the only thing that the place has going for it and that everyone there practically drinks.

rose

Joey then brings up the subject if having parents who drink make kids want to drink too. And the answer to that is, of course they do. Marcie’s clone Teresa says that her mom was a raging alcoholic and she picked up the habit when her dad left them. We get our next Degrassi Junior High clip and it’s the scene where Kathleen told her drunk ass mom about being on the stupid Quest For The Best team. Kathleen then starts to relate to Marcie about her character’s problems. Marcie goes on to say that she would get drunk off her ass before school started. But if she drank rum before 10 in the morning it would make her a pirate though.

scene from Degrassi Junior High

Wheels is hanging out with that Indian looking dude and he tells him all about how his mom is an alcoholic and his dad died from cirrhosis of the Liver due to drinking. Damn, even in reality Wheels has a rough life. The guy’s name is Nathan and he says that his parents are separated but he says that his mom lives in the next house over, so fuck! I don’t see the point of her leaving then. But I guess she had no where else to go, cause the place looks like a complete shit hole.

wheels and nathan nathan 18

Random kids start talking about the fact that a lot of their parents are drinkers themselves but they tell them not to be drinking. Maybe they have a point since you know, they’re underage. But what do I know? We cut back to Nathan and Wheels asks him how much he drank and he mumbles his answer. But thank God Wheel says, “You drank 4 days a week?” Or something like that. He mentions how he would start drinking as soon as he would wake up.

degrassi talks interviews

The next Degrassi clip is Stephanie puking her guts out. And that leads to people talking about all the side effects of people drinking. How could they not list the different kind of drunks there are? There are quiet drunks, happy drunks, annoying and mean drunks. Anyways we go back to Marcie and she mentions how she had to go to rehab and talks about having a physical done and she was completely fucked up physically due to being drunk off her ass all the time.

Nathan comes back on and mumbles something about someone falling down and they were completely messed up from it. Mercifully we cut to Spike and she’s talking to these heavy metal dudes and she asks them if alcohol kills. One of them says, “You can never drink too much.”

spike metal dudes

A newspaper with the picture of some kid comes on screen and Wheels mentions how he went drinking with some adults and he got so fucking drunk that he died at the age of 15 due to alcohol poisoning. The asshole metal guy says that alcohol can kill because if you drop your drink while you’re driving then you take your eyes off the road. I’m sure swerving all over the fucking place has nothing to do with it.

dead drunk kid

Man, this one is full of clips. We get the scene were Clutch wanted to drink and drive but luckly his big foreheaded nerd of a friend Paul takes his keys and insists on driving to Lucy’s. And yeah, predictably this leads to the question of whether the people being ambushed by the Degrassi Talks crew have ever tried to drink and drive before. This moron mentions how one of his friends got drunk and crashed and he says, “It was really cool.”

cool moron

Ok, these are really hard to write and they are such bummers to write about. So fuck it, I’m just going to just summarize the rest of this episode. This girl mentions how they went out to get some KFC and some drunk hit their car and her mom died and she ended up in a wheel chair. Tragic I know. Turns out she has a twin and she had a lot of anger towards her at first because her twin sister could walk and she couldn’t.

missy 20

The scene goes to this guy named Micheal and Wheels is asking him how the party he went to was. I don’t know why he wants to know this info for. But ok. The guy says that they wanted to impress these two losers older guys. I would have asked them why they were hanging out with a bunch of teenagers for. He goes on to say that they tried to leave and immediately crashed the car and he basically killed the passengers in the car with him. Ok, how is this guy not in prison for doing all that?

murderer

Wheels comes back on camera and he basically gives a bunch of Canadian teenager alcohol facts. We get the rest of the clip from when Clutch wanted to drive to Lucy’s. Marcie comes back on and she tells Kathleen how fucking hard it is to stay clean.

Nathan once again comes on mumbling again and I have no goddamn clue what he’s saying. Wish this thing came with some close captioning so I could understand. That girl Rose comes back on and she starts talking about an alcohol youth group that is in town for all the drunk teenagers they have there. So that right there tells us that it’s a huge fucking problem in her little neck of the woods.

wheels nathan 2rose youth group

At the end of this the twins start talking about how they started a group that’s basically students against drunk driving. The murdering guy comes back on after them and he’s telling Wheels how he wishes that he could take it all back. But shit, too little too late now. Oh! We hear this thud and it says that he was convicted and sentenced to pound me in the ass prison.

michael convicted

Wheels comes back on and talks about how alcohol has totally affected his life. It’s sad to think that that’s what took him out years later too. The twins come back with their final thoughts, kind of like Jerry Springer and they say that they know that teens are going to drink, but to just do it responsibly. Again, they’re talking to teens. They don’t know the meaning of the word.

wheels

Oh lord, so glad that I only have one more of these to review. They are such fucking downers, I can’t take it!! But at least Rose was a bit good looking, so that helped. Yup, I’m shallow like that.

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Author: Degrassi Guy

Hi there and welcome to my little corner of the Degrassi Universe in the far side of interwebs. For all ten of you who are reading this, welcome! Degrassi Junior High/High was a show produced in Canada that showed the trials and tribulations of every day students. This show tackled everything and I mean everything. From alcoholism, depression, pedophiles, bullies, eating disorders, hitchhiking, death of parents, adoption, teen pregnancy, hiding other products to get condoms so no one will notice. To pornography, suicide, getting the smack down from your mustached boyfriend and getting the guts to get away from him. If I missed anything, trust me. Degrassi didn't. Degrassi was pretty much as real as it got. Especially back when I first started seeing it. Saved by the Bell it was not. You never saw Zack Morris smoking weed, getting Kelly Kapowski pregnant or AC Slater giving Jessie a good beating when she sassed him. So sit back and get ready to reacquaint yourself with the beginning of the Degrassi Universe. For those of you who are new, you don't know what you're in for. But that's a good thing. This is Degrassi Junior High/High seen through my eyes. Basically what I loved and hated. Some of you may disagree with what I think, but that's ok. Mostly though, after all these years later. I still love this cheesy show.

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