Yes this is it Degrassi fiends. This is the very last episode of Degrassi High. It’s been a long road since I started this little blog, and I wouldn’t have done it any different. So set back and take a gander. Who knows, maybe you’ll get misty eyed. Or maybe you just won’t give a fuck and rejoice that this little piece of madness is almost over. Anyways, let’s get this show on the road!
Pre-credit opener: We see some people measuring some windows for no apparent reason and this old guy is going over some plans. Right away we know something big is up, but we have no idea what it can be. Lucy and the twins come along and they’re trying to reassure her that she’s totally going to win Student Council President. Dwayne comes along and meets up with Caveboy and the black chick. And what do you know? He finally calls her by her name. Turns out her name is Tabby. Fucking a, I’ve seen this show a million times and this is the first time that I ever caught her name for some reason. Anyways, they both tell Dwayne that there’s a rumor going around that someone at Degrassi has Aids. Right away Dwayne get’s all nervous. Nick making shit worse by saying, “A guy like that can kill us all.” What a stupid asshole.
Class is dismissed and Lucy is shitting bricks because of the election. Just then Raditch comes on the PA and announces Lucy as the winner. Everyone comes by to congratulate her. Bronco tells the girls that he’s taking them to Uncle Moe’s Family Feedbag for lunch on him.
In the cafeteria Caitlin comes by and starts to talk to Joey about how great it is that Lucy won. Joey sounds like a big lameo by saying that he voted for her too. As soon as she walks away Snake points out that Joey is lying his ass off and he didn’t even vote. Joey reasons that she doesn’t have to know that. Maya tells Caitlin that she can sense that she’s sort of into Joey again. I’m surprised that Caitlin didn’t tell her to mind her business and find her own boyfriend for once. Because seriously, she’s always up Caitlin’s ass about everything. Anyways Snake is doing the same thing asking him when he’s going to ask her to the dance too. But Joey just says, “Give me time.”
Else where in the cafeteria Amy and Allison are talking about who they think has Aids around there. Dwayne once again get’s all nervous. Amy mentions how they hope they say who it is soon, because she doesn’t want to catch it. Allison points out that no one can keep a secret at that goddamn school. So of course he assumes that it was Joey that blabbed because after all, he is the only one that knows about his HIV status.
In the boys restroom Dwayne decides to confront Joey. Dwayne starts to man handle Joey and asks him about hearing the rumor about some Aids guy. Joey of course says that it wasn’t him and Joey tries to reason with him that no one knows that it’s him so he’ll be ok. Dwayne says that all he has going for him is that people are still treating him normal. I don’t know how he can say that though, because this whole time I was assuming that everyone hated him for being such a fucking asshole.
In the special ed room Angela Landsbury dismisses the class and of course Tabby and Nick start talking about wanting to kick the Aids guy’s ass or the fact that they should be kicked out. Joann get’s all pissed off and asks them how do they know if it’s a guy or not. Nick being a dickhead says, “Cause Joann, it is called the gay plague.” Joann then educates them about the nature of the virus. But not before Tabby uses the word prey tell. That right there should have gotten her to be made fun of because no one talks like that. They go on to get grossed out when she tells them that her mom works with Aids patients. Nick telling her, “I was going to kiss you Joann, but I guess you lose.” She burns him by saying, “No, I win!” After Nick says some more Anti Aids shit Dwayne finally get’s pissed off and says, ” How do you know it’s not one of us?” They start to laugh. But then Dwayne admits to them that he’s HIV positive and fucking Nick is horrified to be next to him now.
Now the shit has hit the fan. Everyone is talking about and looking at Dwayne. He says hi to Tabby and she’s fucking terrified of him now. She says, “Don’t!” Dwayne tries to explain to her that you can’t get it by just simply touching. But she’s so freaked out by him that she can’t handle it. Dwayne of course get’s all pissed off and says, “I don’t need this crap!” And promptly leaves the school. Everyone is probably relieved that he left the building. Dicks.
In Mr Websters Science class he comes in and hands everyone a letter they are to give to their parents. After pestering him what it says, you know instead of reading it for themselves, he tells the class that Degrassi is going to close down in June and through out the rest of the school year. He then tells them that everyone has to go to different high schools and they all start bitching about having to start over and going to another school for their Senior year.
In Mr Raditch’s office he’s carefully explaining to Lucy and Bronco all about how fucked up the school is. Raditch is all, “There’s serious metal fatigue in all the load-bearing members, the wiring is substandard, it’s completely inadequate for our power needs, and the neighborhood is like a demilitarized zone.” Plus the heater is a piece of shit and it’s hot as hell in the warms months too. They should just burn the son of a bitch down like they did to Degrassi Junior High and rebuild it. Lucy then starts bitching about why even bothering about having the stupid election but Raditch tells her that the decision was just made that same morning and he’s getting reassigned too. So basically it’s a huge shit sandwich and they’re all going to have to take a bite! I’m assuming Claude’s demonic spirit is going to have to be exorcised out of the building too.
In this weird lounge area Joey is going on to Wheels and Snake about liking Caitlin and wanting to ask her out to the dance. Caitlin of course is coming down the big ass ramp and he asks her if she has a date for the formal yet. After some bullshit he finally get’s the balls to ask her to the dance. Of course she has to be all difficult and tells him. “I, uh, I don’t really know.” Joey of course takes the fucking hint and tells her no problem. But after all that she says, “I didn’t say no. Just that I don’t know.” Then all of a sudden she changes her mind and she says yes. Why couldn’t she have just have said that instead of going through the motions with Joey?! Man how annoying! Joey mentions how his car finally broke completely down and he wants to get a limo to pick her up. But she insists on them just meeting there. Hey at least he get’s to save even more money now.
In the Special Ed class Tabby talks to Joann and asks her if she’s seen Dwayne. But she tells her that no one has seen him since that morning and she mentions that she heard about him. Which means that either her or that asshole Nick went around telling everyone. Tabby then goes on to ask her a bunch of stupid Aids questions, you know shit that even people back then should have known about. Tabby is deathly afraid about sitting on the same chair as him. Joann then goes off on her and says, “I know I sound like a pamphlet, it’s just that I get so mad at how people with Aids get treated by people like you.” She told that bitch off. This again would be another instance where if it was Good Times you’d hear, “Right on!” coming from the audience.
It’s finally the big night of the dance and everyone is coming dressed like they were fashion victims. Those are seriously some ugly ass formal wear they have on. On the dance floor we hear this really early 90’s hip hop grove coming on and everyone does the whitest dancing known to mankind. Dwayne decides to come to the dance after all and everyone is giving him dirty looks and avoiding him. The last straw though is Allison telling Amy, “Showing up tonight? That is tacky!” Gotta leave it to them to show no social tact and be straight up stuck up bitches. After everyone decides to gawk at him he runs away into the boys rest room. Tessa being decent tells Yick, “Poor guy.”
Nick and Tabby show up and Nick says, “Bye bye Degrassi High.” Which is similar to what Lucy said in the last episode of Degrassi Junior High. But who cares. Joey comes walking in looking sharp for once with Snake and Michelle. Michelle of course is looking hot as fuck, so Snake really lucked out there. Snake mentions to Joey how he doesn’t see Caitlin but Joey says that it’s fine since Caitlin is always fucking late. Funny how he knows her after all these years. Wheels comes along and Joey asks him how his hair looks. Wheels tells him to relax and says, “Everyone will be fine.” “Trust me.” Joey get’s even more nervous and says, “Don’t say that! Every time we say that it’s a disaster man.” Which is true. Something always goes wrong when one of them says that.
Back in the dance floor Tracy Morgan is wearing a tuxedo shirt and bow tie but with some blue jeans. What kind of stupid look is that? Anyways he tells Liz that he can’t believe that this is the last time they’re all going to be there. Some random white bread looking dude comes along and asks Spike to a dance.
Outside Joey is hella nervous about Caitlin. He tells Wheels that he’s going to the restroom to check his hair. Dwayne just happens to be in there and they have a heart to heart moment. Probably the last one in the series. Joey asks him where he’s been and he missed his finals. Dwayne says what’s the point since he’s going to die. Joey points out that everyone is going to die some day. But Dwayne says that some people are going to get there sooner than later. Dwayne then says that he told his parents and of course his dad was super pissed off. And if Dwayne used to be like his dad, then this mean that his dad is a fucking dick. He also mentions that his mom was decent, she actually cried and you know, gave a shit about her son.
Outside Caitlin and Maya finally show up and Maya mentions how fucking slow Caitlin was to get ready. Caitlin looks around and get’s instantly pissed off about not seeing Joey anywhere. Maya doesn’t help matters by saying that he probably got tired of waiting for her and went home. But Caitlin reasons that he knows that she’s always late for everything. She seems to be really nervous too because she asks Maya how she’s looking and all that. Of course she looks banging in that dress she has on. Maya on the other hand looks like fucking Yetta from The Nanny with that God awful looking jacket she has on.
Back in the wash room Joey asks Dwayne if he’s going to stay in there all night smelling all the urine and Dwayne mentions how everyone is looking at him and talking shit. Dwayne then says, “I used to like it when everyone was afraid of me. But this is different.” Joey says that Degrassi is his school too and he has every right to be there with the rest of them, so fuck all those assholes.
Inside the dance Caitlin continues to overreact like she always does and she starts to go off on Joey and starts bitching to Maya about him standing her up and how she thought that maybe they could get back together again. After saying she’s never been more humiliated in her life she decides to go home and continues to rip Joey a new asshole. She’s all, “Forget it, I hate him!” But just then Joey walks in and she instantly get’s all happy after he tells her he just came back from combing his hair. I think she just showed how bat shit crazy she really is. Run away Joey!!
Bronco grabs the mike and he announces to everyone to find that special someone and have a very sensual dance. So of course they all start to dance to this really cheesy Canadian romantic song that no one has probably heard of.
Dwayne finally get’s the guts to come out of the restroom and goes into the dance. Joann tells him that she’s glad to see him there. As he walks in Nick shows his true colors and tells Tabby that they should leave. But Tabby actually shows what a decent person she is and tells him no. She tells him that she’s staying and Captain Uni-brow tells her, “Fine! But it’s your funeral.” What a fucking cock that guy is. I guess those Aid’s speakers were right. You do find out who your real friends are pretty quickly. Anyways Tabby comes up and calls him Shorty and asks him to dance.
So for the second time ever the end credits play over a scene that’s still happening. Trish comes over and asks Mr Raditch to dance. Tessa and Yick seem to be together now and we seen Snake and Michelle start to make out. Snake probably playing grab ass too. Shit I know I would be if I were him. The last thing we see is Joey and Caitlin kissing too. And holy shit, you know what I just realized? I may be wrong about this, but I think this is the first and only time they’ve shown Joey and Caitlin actually kiss. What the hell is that all about?
So that’s it motherfuckers. That was the series finale right there. I would say it was alright. The focus shouldn’t have been on Dwayne though. They should have done that shit in the episode before it. But oh well. It also sort of pisses me off that they never got another season to play out their Senior year. But don’t fret. Things don’t end here. Things really come to a close in the Degrassi movie “Schools Out”. So much shit happens in that one that the Degrassi Universe will never be the same again. So stay tuned peeps!