Well, well. We’ve made it to the 2nd season finale. I gotta say, this season is a vast improvement on the 1st. Probably because it featured too much Arthur and Yick. Mostly Arthur, he was featured in one episode this season and it turned out to be the worst episode ever. But all in all, I enjoyed this season. Which is pretty sad if you ask me.
Pre-credit opener: We see Snake and Wheels cramming for the final exam. Meanwhile Joey is bugging and begging Stephanie if she can talk to Mr Lawrence about The Zit Remedy playing at the school dance. She say’s fine. Joey’s the only one excited, Wheels is too worried about flunking the 8th grade or as they say in Canada, grade 8. Joey says, “All you need is 51% to pass.” “Any bozo can do that.” Famous last words. Raditch comes in and says that it’s time to start the test. Joey being a fool is only thinking about playing at the dance. Saying, “We’re gonna be stars!” Ha. I saw what the writers of this show did with the title “Pass Tense”. Right away anyone with half a brain would realize that it’s about making the grade!
Back to the test, the bell rings and Wheels is sweating like Roger Ebert. Nervous as hell. Joey’s bugging Wheels about going to the arcade, Wheel’s tells him to fuck off and he’ll be there later. Meanwhile Spike’s mom drive’s her to school so she can take her final exams too. And holy shit, she’s huge and ready to pop. Let me point something out. Supposedly it’s the end of the year and it’s supposed to be Spring going into Summer but it looks cold as fuck and everyone is wearing jackets and scarfs. I guess Canada doesn’t do Summers.
Stephanie and the twins come out of class and they’re excited for high school. Erica and Stephanie can’t wait for all the new dicks that are going to be in high school. They then get even more excited when they see Spike come in. She says that she has six weeks left in the pregnancy. Ms Avery interrupts the gabfest and it’s time for Spike to take her final exams too.
Meanwhile the grade 7’s are getting a bunch of old ass decorations out, including a huge disco ball. Caitlin and Susie start bitching about why they all have to decorate for the dance and not even getting to go. Apparently it’s a tradition. They then start talking about them being in grade 8 and running the school next Fall.
LD and Wheels seem to be the last one’s in class and even she beat Wheels to turning in her test. Raditch tells him that he can’t give him anymore time. Wheels hopes that he did ok. Then being a little brown noser he tells Raditch thank you. As he steps out, Fat Nancy is being a know it all and telling BLT and Michelle all the correct answers on the test. Both BLT and Wheels saying that they got their answers wrong. BLT says that he’s joining the Army.
We then cut to Joey playing pinball in an ancient thing people used to call an arcade. Let me see, back then, in 1988 I would have been playing ski ball. Because all the cool games didn’t really come out till about a year or two later. I was all about Street Fighter II. Anyways, Joey is delusional as hell. He truly believes that they’re going to become famous in high school after they play their one song. Wheels comes in feeling all down because Fat Nancy couldn’t keep her behemoth sized mouth shut about the answers and he’s convinced that he failed since he got them all wrong. Joey being an idiot says big deal, there’s still our concert. Wheels says that if he doesn’t pass he won’t be going to the graduation dance and doesn’t want to stay in grade 8 while everyone else goes on to high school. Joey for the millionth time says that they’re going to be rock stars and Wheels has to be there. What a dumb fuck I swear.
The next day The Zits reunite so that they can practice for the school dance. Joey’s excited to play in front of a live audience even though they suck major ass.
Caitlin and Susie come into Doris’s office asking for more money for the decorations. They over hear her saying, “Did you find somewhere ready to put the grade 9’s?” Susie and Caitlin are thinking what the fuck did you just say? Then ask her what’s up. And here comes one of the stupidest plot device ever. I guess the writers couldn’t think of a way to have them all together for another year so they came up with this bullshit. Doris happier than a pig in shit says, “Due to shifting populations, they’re adding a grade 9 to Degrassi.” Meaning that Degrassi’s going to be over flowed with even more kids, and the school is small as hell as it is. So I don’t know where they found room for them.
Caitlin and Susie come in pissed off and they tell everyone in their class that they’re adding a grade 9. All they can think about is how they won’t be in charge like they thought they would be and start bitching about not wanting to decorate for the dance since they won’t be getting a graduation next year. I think it’s just an excuse to be lazy thanks to that trouble maker Caitlin. She always riles people up. Ms Avery says that she knew about the news and they all start bitching at her.
In Raditch’s class he’s going over the procedure about graduation. Saying that they’ll be going in reverse alphabetical order. Simon being close to being brain dead asks what it means. Raditch busts out a couple of hand puppets and slowly explains it to him. After about an hour he finally got it. Then he goes on to say that the list of the graduates is on the bulletin board outside. As the bell rings he tells Joey to stay behind. LD then asks Raditch about the rumor of being stuck there for the next year. He says, “Apparently.” They all start bitching, even Liz saying how unfair this news is. Raditch is all, “Look here motherfuckers, I have nothing to do with it.” “You have a problem, talk to the school board about it, now bounce!”
Everyone is over joyed at seeing that they passed. Even Wheels. He does a dance of joy with this black chick who always sits at the back of the class. He tells Joey the obvious that he passed. Raditch shuts the door and has his talk with Joey. You can tell that he’s in deep shit because he tries to be all friendly with him and that’s never happened before. He tells him that his marks are the shittiest in Canada’s history. He technically passed but Raditch talked to his parents and they all feel instead of Joey going to a low academic high school he should shoot for a high academic one and then go to college afterwards. Are they high on some shit or what?! In what world is Joey even intelligent? Long story short he flunked due to being a fucking idiot and a fuck up. Joey of course is devastated.
So much so that he grabs his Greg Brady skate board and goes to the arcade instead of practicing with Snake and Wheels. Snake keeps worrying about Joey not making it and Wheels just tells him to relax while he’s slapping the bass like a bad ass.
The twins are then seen bitching about being stuck at Degrassi for another year. What a DeBummer I say. Stephanie says that she’s not staying there and is transferring to a real high school next year. Caitlin and her posse of grade 7’s tell them that they’re not going to decorate shit, since they’re not going to go anywhere next year. Steph tells them that it’s tradition, but them being assholes, they say they quit and give the twins and Steph boxes full of decorations. We then hear the twins whining about how unfair it is and how they had to do all that bullshit last year. It’s really annoying to hear them let me tell you. They do manage to yell at Scooter and Max. They get so scared, they run away.
Snake and Wheels finally get tired of waiting for Joey and decide to leave. They ask Fat Nancy and Michelle if they’ve seen Joey. Fat Nancy eagerly it seems like informs them that Joey flunked. She says that it’s obvious because he wasn’t on the graduation list and that he was the biggest idiot to ever attend Degrassi. Wheels is so concerned that he’s going to go look for him.
And big surprise, he’s at the arcade. Playing pinball and feeling sorry for himself. Wheels spots him and tries to talk to him. Saying, “I’m sorry you failed.” Joey says, “What do you expect?” “I’m a bozo.” Wheels seriously lies his ass off and says that Joey’s smart. It was such a major lie that his tight ass pants caught fire and Joey had to put him out with his little jean jacket. Moving on, Wheels says that they’re still friends and that they’re going to play at the dance. But Joey’s all, “Fuck that.” “I’m not playing in front of people that know I flunked.” Wheels tells Joey that he thought he wanted to be a star. Basically calls him a pussy for not wanting to play anymore. Joey tells him to fuck off and Wheels leaves all disgusted at him.
Finally, it’s the big graduation dance. We hear the same shitty 80’s Canadian music we heard in episode 2 of the first season. All the grade 7’s are there thanks to Caitlin and Susie. Doris is at the door handing out boutonniere’s for all the dudes as the come in. Arthur is dressed up like his idol Colonel Sanders and tells Wheels that he made the punch. Wheel’s is all, “Don’t talk to me dweeb.” They mention how Joey is a no show. And oh lord Raditch is the DJ once again.
The twins and Stephanie are still bitching about their lot in life and then here comes Spike Wearing her dance muumuu. They all get excited. We hear some girl talking to Wai Lee and asks him why he’s not dancing. Probably being someone with no style, he says that he doesn’t really like music. They get interrupted by Joey, wearing his nicest tuxedo shirt. I swear this guy always has to be a fucking cornball.
The girls get all excited at seeing his arrival too. Raditch then puts on another lame song and does some of the whitest dancing seen on this show yet. All the dudes see him and slap him some five. Caitlin comes by and says hi. All of a sudden Joey has a hard on for her and says how good looking she is, thanks to them being in the same grade now.
Joey then asks them if they’re ready to play, Snake of course always has to be a nervous wreck. Joey tells Stephanie that they’re going to play. She interrupts Raditch scratching some beats and tells him that Joey’s there and that they’re setting up to play. He says, “Good for him.”
Raditch tells Ms Avery to cut the music and he announces them with the best yucking radio voice you can imagine. He’s all, “Alright bitches, put your motherfucking hands together for The ZIT REMEDY!” The curtains part and Wheels starts his bass solo. Right before they get into their song, everyone is clapping their hands, way off beat. It’s hilarious. Maya rolls her machine to the front and starts shaking her head. Probably the only thing she can move at this point. Alexa says that she loves them. Joey then does a really lame Saturday Night Fever move. Everyone is going crazy for them, but then we hear that fat asshole Dwayne say, “Give it up Jeremiah.” I don’t know how he graduated and Joey didn’t. Dwayne is even more of a dumbass than Joey.
Kathleen says, “They’re ok I guess.” Towards the end of the song Spike makes an oh fuck face. Either she thinks that they’re that shitty or she’s in labor. Turns out that she’s gone into labor because her water just broke. Meaning that the baby is going to come along premature now. That’s what she get’s for not listening to her mother with the goddamn candy bars. She tells the twins, “Call my mom quick!” The last thing we hear is the crowd chanting, “Zits, Zits.” This was perhaps the greatest night in Joey’s life. This performance put Joey and the Zit Remedy into the stratosphere with their fame. But only in Joey’s feeble little mind. And that’s the end of Season 2.
So yeah, cliffhanger. We have so much to look forward to next season. If I could only remember I would list all the issues that come up in season 3, but I can’t. Oh well. Stay tuned for the last season of Degrassi Junior High peeps. Because after that it’ll be known as Degrassi High. Things are much better then, trust me.