Edit: Check out my new blog Degrassi The Next Generation Reviewed.
Well it seems like the last list I made was a big hit. So I said to myself, why not make a top ten list of the most annoying, irritating. Most obnoxious fucks on Degrassi? Making the list is the easy part. Putting them in what order is the hard part. But I think you’ll all agree that most of these characters deserve to be mentioned here.
I tried to go with a year book vibe with this entry, but I couldn’t find the pics where they had the black background like Spike and Joey have. I Googled my ass off, but most things that you search Degrassi in, you’re going to get The Next Generation instead and that’s just wrong and it needs to be stopped!
10. Dwayne Myers
By far the biggest asshole to appear in Degrassi’s halls. A bully and a dick just because he could be. Who can forget when he beat the shit out of Joey, or that time he ratted Joey out when he wanted to streak across the cafeteria so he could buy that lemon of a car. Not to mention the initiation he and his cronies started at Degrassi High. Or that one time… You get the point. He just loved picking on one Joey Jeremiah and tormented him daily. But he payed for it big time when he contracted HIV. He admitted to Joey that he had it and was afraid of dying. Joey said, “If it’s true then I’ll be dancing and pissing on your grave.” Something like that. Afterwards, his whole attitude changed and was actually decent to Joey. It’s a shame it took something huge like that to make it happen. I would assume that he died since then, but I saw that he was on a deleted scene from the first episode of the Next Generation. Healthy and fatter than ever.
9. Claude Tanner.
Another character that was really unlikable. He was partly responsible for Joey and Caitlin breaking up because she fell for all of his environmental crusader bullshit. He talked a good game, especially about not being afraid of getting into trouble for his belief’s. But when some security guard spotted them spray painting “No Nukes” he ran away like Carl Lewis and left Caitlin behind to get caught. Needless to say she dumped his ass, especially after he weaseled his way out of going to court with her. (He was afraid the guard would recognize him.) After that he got into a deep depression and started dressing like a pirate. Caitlin once and for all told him to fuck off. At that same time his parents got a divorce and as a tribute to how unlikable he really is, both parents really didn’t want him around. The last straw was his poem’s ode to death being rejected from the school talent show. So he went into the boys laboratory and blew his own fucking head off. People ended up hating him even more because he blamed Caitlin for his death from beyond the grave and he seriously fucked up Snake because he found his headless carcass. To this day Snake still needs a catheter to take a piss. Oh how could I forget? He insisted on being called Cloode. What an asshole.
8. Spike Nelson.
Spike makes this list because she was such a pain in the ass with Shane. She totally made her pregnancy all about her and not even considered his feelings. Then when Emma was born she never let him see her. Even though he was giving her money for child support. After man stomp 1988 and Shane became retarded from jumping off a bridge she hooked up with big eared Irish guy Patrick. Spike totally had in her head that all guys are evil, horny bastards and she snapped at him because he wanted to buy her some fucking ice cream. Their relationship of course didn’t last long because she dumped him. Probably because he sang that God Awful song to her. She then tried to cock block him because he became interested in Liz. So of course Spike acted jealous as hell and even treated Liz like shit. Patrick let her have it and gave her the zinger of, “You may be a mother, but you still have a lot of growing up to do.” Check mate Spike! For the remainder of the series she remained the show’s token pregnant girl. Or girl with child if you will.
7. Fat Nancy Kramer.
Easily one of the more annoying characters because she brought nothing to the show. So glad they didn’t focus a story on her. If they did it would probably involve her trying to eat her own weight in pizza. She was super annoying when she kept telling Caitlin that she didn’t give a shit what article she wrote for the school news paper, as long as it was 200 words. Seriously, most story lines only had her acting like a know it all. Remember she was telling Wheels and BLT the right answers that they obviously got wrong? She was the most infuriating when she took drivers ed with Joey and Snake. Especially when they showed her driving around in a new car with Tracy. Not only was she annoying, she was gross too. Remember that one time that Stephanie Kaye was practicing asking Wheels out? Well Fat Nancy came out of the stall and didn’t even wash her hands! She’s a heinous ass person. Her character was so empty and wasn’t even a vital cast member, but she still managed to illicit extreme hatred from Degrassi fans the world over.
6. Liz O’Rourke.
What do you get when you mix a bad attitude, a mediocre dye job and a horrible looking hair cut? You get Liz. The man hater. Liz makes this list for being a hateful, angry, judgmental bitch. She also influenced Spike so much that Spike was a less severe version of her. She hated Erica’s guts because she had an abortion, so she resorted to harassing her. After she got her ass kicked, she cut her shit out. Funny how all that hatred didn’t help her one bit there. Other story lines involved her hating just about every male on the planet. But we finally got the answer why she was like this. Turns out she was molested by the creepiest albino motherfucker ever. Instead of getting help she just went on hating people. Like the time that Tracy tried to kiss her and she lost her mind and completely over reacted. I don’t know what Joey was thinking when he picked Liz over Caitlin. Especially when she lost her mind the first time and booted his ass out of her house when he asked her if she wanted to have sex.
5. Bartholomew Bond.
This Harpo Marx looking motherfucker was another one that really didn’t bring nothing to the show. He was a geek right under Alex, Arthur and Scooter. One of the few things that come to mind is when he got ripped off with the stupid sea monkey’s he and Scooter bought. Ms Avery literally had to tell him that those stupid gerbils he had were pregnant, not fat. You can tell that if Degrassi had a Dungeons and Dragons club, Bart would have been the grand high geek. His biggest claim to geekdom was when Tessa asked him and Scooter if they were going to the dance and he told her with no shame that they were going to stay in to watch a documentary on some stupid turtles. That same episode he taught Scooter how to dance. Horribly might I add. To me he’ll always remain Canadian Screech.
4. Joey Jeremiah.
Yeah, that’s right Joey is included in this list. Through out the course of the show Joey had an asshole, spoiled, no social tact thing going on with him. But he was far worse in the earlier episodes of the series. Not only was he an obnoxious asshole, but he was also a bully to Yick and Arthur. He was also a bit of a dick with Wheels because Joey had a hard on for Stephanie Kaye. One episode where he really pissed me off was when Wheels was totally going to bone Stephanie and so he and Wheels went to get condoms. But then when the pharmacist who turned out to be Stephanie’s mom went to help him. Joey abandoned him and just left the store. He also ran his mouth a bit too much and Dwayne, the fat asshole of Degrassi had to beat the ever loving shit out of him. As he went on to high school Joey matured a bit. Not to say that he still didn’t have his shithead moments. He was so annoying when Lucy was filming her epic feminist horror movie It Creeps. But the biggest fuck up that he did was cheating on the goddess Caitlin with Whoville looking citizen Tessa. It’s a shame he let his newly discovered sex drive get the better of him. Of course Caitlin having some dignity dumped his ass and he remained with nothing but regret.
3. Kathleen Mead.
Another character that is hated the world over is Kathleen. Definitely Degrassi’s resident bitch. She was hateful, judgmental, and really was a world class smarty pants. So many examples that I could use against her. Let’s see, she spread the rumor that Caitlin and Ms Avery were lesbians and that they were in some sort of lesbianiac relationship. She got Rick kicked out of her stupid, worthless environmental group because she got jealous that Rick was actually getting things done. Remember all the times where she wanted to change the school dress code because she’s a prudish bitch? She even wanted Spike out of Degrassi because she felt that Spike was a bad influence. That was probably because Kathleen wore 50’s style skirts that went up all the way to her chest. She pretty much hated Caitlin through out the run of the series and treated her like complete shit. But she was worse to Melanie by far. A huge example is when Melanie wanted to be on the dance committee and Kathleen went to Fat Nancy and told her that only older kids should be on it because grade 8’s were too immature. She then had the nerve to get pissed at Melanie because she spilled all the beans about what a horrible life Kathleen really has. Some times I wonder why she wasn’t even included in School’s Out. Probably because the producers figured that she’s one of the most disliked characters in Degrassi history.
2. Alex Yankou.
What can we say about Degrassi’s resident nerd that we haven’t heard before? Nerd sure? Stupid? You betcha. Plus he was annoying as hell. Especially when he was bragging to Caitlin about going to Israel or Greece. She just told him to shut the fuck up. Or how about the time when Tessa wanted to make out with him and he was so much of a scared puss that he couldn’t even make a move. Like I’ve said before, he had to have sold his soul to Satan in order to have gotten Tessa. He tried to make over his image and make himself look more cool. But who in their right mind would wear cut off Daisy Dukes with a t shirt and corduroy jacket? But he only succeeded in making himself look like a complete tool. If you notice through out the course of the series you’ll hear on the announcements something involving Alex and his glasses. Seriously, Alex is the AT&T of people.
1. Arthur Kobalewski.
And taking the top spot is none other than Arthur. Some of you may ask, Arthur? Why? I’ll tell you why goddamn it!! After reviewing this series in order from the beginning to end. Any and all episodes that featured him were boring and juvenile as hell. Any time I saw that he was staring in one, I groaned out loud. These were the moments when writing this blog became a chore. Let’s see, Arthur highlights. Well he was a big fucking lame nerd, there’s that. Which makes it hilarious that he wanted to give Yick love advice. Arthur knows nothing about women and probably jerked off into a sock all through Degrassi High’s run. Which reminds me of the time that dumbass was getting wet dreams and thought he was some sort of sick, sex maniac. Let’s see, what else? Oh yeah. He broke up his dad and his girlfriend because Arthur was getting desperate for his attention. That was the same episode when he got way too into that stupid novelty joke store. He once brought this mangy, smelly dog to school. He managed to lose the class pet serpent. Who can forget when he thought he broke Yick’s “priceless vase” and wanted to give Yick money for life. There was also the time were he got obsessed with Caitlin and started having sick demented dreams about her. Of course she didn’t want to date him because he’s the most unfuckable guy on the planet. Later on in the series he actually got even more heftier and started buttoning up his shirt collar all the way to the top. I didn’t know it was possible but he turned into an even bigger geek. Remember the time when he came back from Paris and gave Yick that very nerdy beret? Or the time he started giving Yick shit for getting with Tessa? The list is endless with how annoying Arthur is and I would stay here all day pointing out all the shit that makes me hate him. He’ll always remain the most annoying, irritating, lamest character on the show for me.
Well that’s that. The top then most annoying motherfuckers on Degrassi. Some of you may disagree with me. I know I left out a few others. Like the Chinese kid or Jason Cox. Jason Cox was only guilty of being the worst actor on the show. So its no secret that he became a Degrassi reject. But these characters are the ones that always got on my last nerve.