Degrassi Junior High Reviewed

Degrassi Junior High Reviewed is a blog about the sometimes cheesy, a lot of times badly acted, but beloved Canadian 80's tv series. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who just loves Canadian melodrama. New reviews every week, on Mondays and Thursday's.

Season 2, Episode 12, “Three’s A Crowd”

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Pre credit opener: Snake is flying Emma around like she was the Goodyear Blimp and I’m glad to see that he’s finally gotten rid of that awful looking Prince Valiant hair cut he was sporting for a while. Not a good look Archie! He puts Emma in her playpen and Spike tells him that they have to start on getting ready for their presentation. As they’re going through their books Snake get’s this seductive look on his face and says, “I can’t play these games anymore Christine.” All the while putting his hand on her face. Right now Spike is creaming her pants because he’s acting like fucking Lord Byron. He says that he’s crazy about her and then kisses her passionately. But then we hear Emma yelling, “MOM!” and it’s pretty clear that Spike was just day dreaming the whole thing. She says sorry and sigh’s.

spike snakespike

Class is dismissed and Allison and Amy are talking about the fact that they have no dates to go to the semi-formal. I was going to say that it’s bullshit that they don’t. But Allison tells her, “We have standards, we’re going with Seniors and that’s that!” So yeah, they’re dateless because they’re stuck up as hell. Moving on Spike tells Snake thanks for being her study partner and he says thanks and hangs out with Joey. Spike then starts going on about all the qualities she likes about Snake to Liz, even the fact that he’s an awkward clumsy giant. She then asks Liz what it must have been like for him finding Claude’s headless corpse. But all Liz says is, “I can’t think about it.” Spike then starts going on about how she would love to go to the formal with him.

spike in love

On the other side Michelle is basically telling Alexa the same shit Spike was just saying. Michelle admits that she likes Snake, but she’s afraid he’ll say no because she ruined their last date by being a huge crybaby. As they walk by him Alexa tells her that she’s sure that he likes her back. After they say hi Joey asks Snake why he doesn’t ask Michelle to the formal. But Snake still has PTSD about Claude and says he’s not ready for that yet. But he then quickly changes his mind about all that and says that he can’t ask her because their last date was completely shitty. Joey tells him that he knows that she likes him. As Snake turns around to look at her I can swear she looks all glamed up because someone runs by and her hair blows at the perfect moment that she smiles back at him.

joey snakemichelle blown hair

In the library Tessa seems to be tutoring Yick but he shuts her up by putting a finger to her mouth. She says what and he grabs her hands. And now he starts acting all romantic. He says, “You have a sexy mind.” He then begs her to go to the formal with him and then they also start to mack. But of course it was all bullshit because Alex comes along and ruins everything by bringing her back to reality. Alex then tells Yick how he was telling her that he doesn’t have a moment with her anymore. At that Tessa get’s all annoyed with him and Yick sensing some drama leaves. Now that they’re alone they have a fight over her tutoring him some more after school. After annoying her even more he tells her that it’s their three month anniversary and gives her a ring. You can tell that she’s totally over Alex now because he’s probably a huge fucking nerd bore and he senses that something is wrong too by the face he makes.

tessa kissing yick

In another section of the library Spike walks up to Snake and asks him to the formal. Upon hearing those words Snake starts to laugh his ass off while Spike is saying, “Sorry.” Then he announces to everyone that she just asked him out and everyone starts laughing. Including this guy that totally has a stoner laugh. Once again she was just hallucinating the whole thing. She finally get’s the guts to ask him out after Liz prods her some. She’s all, “Maybe we can go.” And makes a face because he made a face and quickly adds as friends. Snake says sure because he has nothing else better to do. Spike of course is really excited and says that she has to buy something fun to wear since she never get’s to do jack shit because she takes care of Emma all the time.

snake laughingspike made fun of

In some math room Tessa walks in and Alex asks her if she wants to have lunch together and she tells him that she can’t due to helping Yick study again. Turns out this is all Alex’s fault because he asked her to help Yick out. What a dumb fuck. As she sits down Dorthy starts giving her shit too for spending a lot of time with Yick. But Tessa just tells her to fuck off and that she’s just tutoring him. She goes on to say how Yick isn’t her type because he’s wild and unpredictable. Alex on the underhand is just boring as hell. As Yick passes by they both smile at each other and now Arthur is giving Yick shit about her being Alex’s girlfriend. Man Arthur I should point out has gotten even more heftier since the last episode he was in. How is that even possible?! I’m so glad that he only got one episode that was just about him during Degrassi High’s run. I guess even the writers figured out that he was a lame, boring uninteresting character.

yick arthur luke

In the hallway Allison and Amy play a quick game of Paper, Rock, Scissors and Allison wins. The winner I guess get’s to ask Nick out. Again with this ugly asshole? Anyways she tries to talk to him but he’s too busy rocking out on his tape player. He asks him out and the black chick tells her that he does have a date. Allison pussies out and tells her that she was just doing a poll.

allison amy

Else where Alexa is pressuring Michelle big time to ask out Snake finally. She pushes her out of a door way right in front of him and they get to talking. Snake of course acts all awkward again. She pulls him over to the side and asks him if he would like to go to the formal with her. He smiles all happy and says in disbelief, “You wanna go with me?” She shakes her head yes, but then his smile fades and he tells her how he already said yes to someone else. Michelle get’s all embarrassed and leaves. I’m surprised she didn’t cry. Alexa then asks her what happened and Michelle tells her that he already has a girlfriend. Ok where did she get girlfriend from already going with someone else? Snake of course is all disappointed because he really wants to be with Michelle.

alexa michelle snake

In the library Yu the Disorganized finally answers a question right and they hug it out in celebration. After he says that she’s the best they both start to kiss each other. Man what is this a fucking soap opera? So much drama going on in this one. In Spike’s bedroom She seems to have gotten a prom dress designed by fucking Tim Burton. It’s completely black and gray and has skulls on it too. She’s so excited to be going with Snake that she starts dancing around with Emma.

tessa yick kiss spike emma

The next day as they’re walking in Snake is telling Joey all about the two women that want to go with him. After Joey calls him a studly guy, he points out the obvious that he should just tell Spike that he can’t go with her. But Snake is too nice of a person he says that he can’t because she asked him first. Joey of course convinces him that he’s right and he says he’s going to break it off with her. He spots her at her locker and before he can get a word out, she tells him that her mom is actually going to baby sit Emma and then she make shit worse. She mentions how she’s so excited since she hasn’t gone to a dance since the Junior High days. He pussies out of course and doesn’t say shit.

spike happy

Oh noes. There seems to be an election going on for Student Council President and Lucy, Dale and Fat Nancy seem to be vying for the position. Allison and Amy start to argue over who get’s to ask out Dale to the formal. But before they can some girl comes along smooching him and they both do an about face.

allison amy dale

In the girls wash room it seems like Tessa has told Dorthy about kissing with Yick. Dorthy tells her that she should break up with Alex since she doesn’t even seem to like him anymore. But Tessa isn’t sure that Yick likes her and then Dorthy get’s all judgmental and says, “What? You only break up if you have a back up?” Instead of telling her to shut the fuck up she agrees to finally break up with Alex.

In the math room Yick is telling the dudes about making out with Tessa. Luke is all into it while Arthur get’s all pissed off. I love how these two dateless related nerds are the ones getting all butt hurt over it. Yick mentions that he can’t help it that she likes him and besides she kissed him. Tessa comes along and Luke takes Arthur for a view outside the windows. Yick says sorry and she mentions how she wanted to break up with Alex’s dorky ass anyways. He walks in and they’re all looking at each other and he knows that something is up. And goddamn it! I feel like a fucking 14 year old girl talking about everyone’s relationship drama. This one is thick with it!

arthur luke tessa yick

As they’re taking the test Tessa tells Alex that they need to talk and she tells him how it’s not working and they need to split up. Alex acts all cheerful and tells her that he was thinking the same thing and they should just be friends. So obviously she’s just day dreaming all this bullshit. Especially when he says that she and Yick should go together. She comes back from the Matrix and tries to talk to him but she chickens out and thanks him for the cheap ring he got her.

alex yick tessa

In gym class all the dudes seemed to be decked out in Stormtrooper armor. What the fuck is going on here? Because they don’t look like Football pads either. Anyways Arthur is acting like a big bitch again telling Yick that he shouldn’t be doing all this to Alex because they’re friends. Luke wonders what he’s going to tell Alex, but Yick says he has nothing to say to him. As they go out Alex asks him how the tutoring sessions are going. Stupid Yick assumes that Tessa broke up with him already and spills the beans about Tessa kissing him. Alex of course get’s all pissed off and starts pushing him. Yick tells him to watch it, but all Alex says is, “No you watch it! I thought we were friends.” Yick very lamely says, “We are.” Then apologizes. See I knew that Alex wouldn’t try to beat his ass. He just backs off before they start their weirdo game they’re about to play. Because he’s a huge pussy.

alex yick armor

In the library Joey tells Snake to have a talk to Michelle and after being pushed towards her he starts another awkward talk with her. She tells him how she understands that he couldn’t wait all year long for her fickle ass to make up her mind about him. But he interrupts her and basically says that he does wants to go to the formal with her, but Spike asked her first and then he makes it out to sound like it’s a fucking pity date since Spike never ever get’s to go out. He goes on to mention how he likes Spike but only as a friend and not like he likes her. So with that he finally admits that he likes her and really wants to go with her. Meanwhile Spike and Liz are on the other side of the book case listening in and she get’s all heart broken.

michelle hot spike heartbroken

In her room she’s holding her dress all sad and Emma asks her wants the matter and Emma just comes over and gives her a hug.

The next day of school Allison and Amy talk about not having any dates. But Amy tells her that she actually got someone to go with her. Enough with that shit. Alex comes along and has it out with Tessa. She says sorry for cheating on him. He starts to sound all pathetic and he asks her, “Why don’t you like me?” She says that she does and he’s a great guy. But he points out how she had to break up with his spaz looking ass. She gives him back the stupid ring he gave her and has the nerve to ask him if they could still be friends. I’m surprised he had the back bone to tell her, “I don’t think so.” He just walks away all sad and Tessa feels bad. I bet it only lasted for five minutes though.

alex tessa

On the big ass ramp Michelle and Snake seem to be talking and Spike comes along. Michelle says that she better go but Spike says that she’ll just be a second. She tells Snake thanks, but she can’t go to the dance with him because she has a family thing they have to go to. Snake is clearly happier than a pig in shit, he can’t contain how delighted he is to hear that. He tells her that it was nice of her to ask her and she says, “It was nice of you to say yes.”

spike michelle snake spike end credits

So holy shit. This was a good episode, but goddamn, there was so much drama in it. I feel like I’m ovulating now. But I gotta say, I totally would have picked Michelle over Spike too. Michelle is good looking and pretty out going. Spike is pretty too, but she’s such a pain in the ass! As for the whole Alex thing. Come on, I think everyone knew he wouldn’t be able to hold on to her. He only is Degrassi’s biggest fucking dweeb there.

But yes, the next episode is the final episode of Degrassi. At least this version of Degrassi. It’s been a long time coming, but all good things must come to an end. Be sure to check out the series finale!


Author: Degrassi Guy

Hi there and welcome to my little corner of the Degrassi Universe in the far side of interwebs. For all ten of you who are reading this, welcome! Degrassi Junior High/High was a show produced in Canada that showed the trials and tribulations of every day students. This show tackled everything and I mean everything. From alcoholism, depression, pedophiles, bullies, eating disorders, hitchhiking, death of parents, adoption, teen pregnancy, hiding other products to get condoms so no one will notice. To pornography, suicide, getting the smack down from your mustached boyfriend and getting the guts to get away from him. If I missed anything, trust me. Degrassi didn't. Degrassi was pretty much as real as it got. Especially back when I first started seeing it. Saved by the Bell it was not. You never saw Zack Morris smoking weed, getting Kelly Kapowski pregnant or AC Slater giving Jessie a good beating when she sassed him. So sit back and get ready to reacquaint yourself with the beginning of the Degrassi Universe. For those of you who are new, you don't know what you're in for. But that's a good thing. This is Degrassi Junior High/High seen through my eyes. Basically what I loved and hated. Some of you may disagree with what I think, but that's ok. Mostly though, after all these years later. I still love this cheesy show.

Well what are you waiting for? What did you think?

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