Degrassi Junior High Reviewed

Degrassi Junior High Reviewed is a blog about the sometimes cheesy, a lot of times badly acted, but beloved Canadian 80's tv series. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who just loves Canadian melodrama. New reviews every week, on Mondays and Thursday's.

Season 2, Episode 6, “Crossed Wires”

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We have another special episode of Degrassi High. Because that’s right, we deal with child molestation in this one and it’s as creepy as it get. Degrassi why must you be so raw?

Pre-credit opener: We see Liz in bed and it’s obvious that she’s having a nightmare. I guess she’s having a dream about herself as a little girl. It looks too much like A Nightmare on Elm Street to me. I’m expecting for Fred Kruger to jump out any minute. She opens a door and it’s not Freddy, but a very creepy looking balding albino. He forces his way in and tells Liz to be quiet. Asking if she wants it or not. Jesus!!

Liz Molester

In the hall way Tracy Morgan is asking Snake whether Liz would go out with him to a concert. Snake asks him why he’s so nervous since they’ve been friends for ages. But this is news to me. I’ve never seen Liz with anyone besides Spike. Snake then mentions how Tracy has had a crush on Liz for years. Again, another concept being barely introduced.

He finally get’s the balls to ask Liz to the Pogues concert because he just happened to win them from the radio. But right away Liz makes a sour face and tells him that she has too much homework. Tracy get’s disappointed and says he’ll ask someone else. That someone else is Snake, what a terrible date that’s going to be.

Liz

Well the unthinkable has actually happened because it seems like Alex and Tessa are a couple now. Yick and Arthur ask him how that whole thing is going. Arthur it should be pointed out has completely turned into Degrassi’s biggest dweeb, the way he dresses. Anyways, Alex basically says that he’s afraid to kiss her because he has no game. Tessa meanwhile is complaining to Dorothy about Alex not putting out. Dorothy is giving more relationship advice, even though she’s never had a boyfriend before in her life. Dorothy doesn’t know a thing about the opposite sex. Shit she just pointed out that she hasn’t had a single date ever.

Alex, Arthur, Yick tessa

In the quad. Spike is giving Liz shit about not wanting to go to the concert. Spike asks her if it’s because of Tracy, and mentions how he’s a really nice guy. Liz is all, “You don’t know that for sure.” Spike says that she’s known him since the sixth grade and really is a nice guy. But Liz is being all weird about it still. Spike then tells her to be more normal for a change and actually go out on a fucking date already. She’s probably tired of hanging out with her every Friday night. After much hassling Liz goes up to Tracy and asks him if he still has the ticket. Snake says that he still has the extra ticket and Tracy get’s all excited. But Liz says, “Just as friends right?” He says sure and it’s a date. Another thing I gotta point out. Why is Snake hanging out with Tracy and the gay Asian kid? Man they’re introducing all sorts of new concepts this late into the series.

Snake Gay Asian kid

We come upon Dwayne eating by himself in the cafeteria. The black chick asks him if he wants to hang out for the weekend. But he says that he’s busy. She asks him what’s been wrong with him lately, but he’s all quiet now. Joey in the back ground seems to be struggling getting a fucking soda out of the machine and that’s when Capt Uni-brow decides he’s going to fuck with him and make him drop it. But Dwayne stands up and tells him to leave Joey alone. They ask him why he’s defending Joey all of a sudden and Nick asks if he’s blackmailing him. Of course he really is and Dwayne hauls ass out of the cafeteria without saying a word.

Dwayne

Seems like Alex and Tessa are coming back from seeing a horror movie. Tessa mentions how scary the movie was. She’s totally giving him signals to make a move but Alex is a big puss and is too afraid to make a move. He won’t even look at her. Just as they’re about to kiss he says that he has to go and Tessa goes back inside all unfilled. She would have felt like that regardless, so no big loss there. My lord, look at the size of Alex’s nostrils. You can fit a quarter up there.

Alex, Tessa

Man, now Tracy is walking Liz back to her house. I guess the Pogues kicked ass at their concert and they mentioned how some people were high as fuck. Maybe they should have borrowed a doobie from them. Liz tells him that he can’t come in and she thanks him for the evening. She says good night and Tracy seems to be leaning in for a kiss on the cheek and fucking Liz loses it and goes ballistic. She starts shouting, “No, NO!!” She pushes him away while he’s telling her to calm her ass down. She locks the door all exhausted and Tracy says in his very effeminate voice, “What did I do?”

Liz ape shit Tim

Once again Liz is dreaming about the molesting albino. She can thank Tracy for summoning up this guy again. Maybe he has the same powers as Freddy and is able to just manifest himself. Anyways, he tells little Liz that she can’t tell anyone and it’s their little secret. Liz finally wakes up saying no.

Molester Liz

The next day at school Tessa is bitching at Dorothy about Alex having no sex drive and not wanting to kiss her. She’s convinced that he doesn’t like her and they should break up. But she should see from a mile away that he’s just afraid because no woman has ever wanted to be with him before, so he doesn’t know what to do with her. Inside the school Alex tries to talk to her, but she won’t have any of it.

In the stair way it seems like Tracy told Snake all about the little incident from the night before. Snake basically asks him if he didn’t accidentally touch her tits or something. But Tracy says nothing of the sort happened. Liz comes on by and he tries to talk to her, but of course this being Liz she says that she doesn’t want to talk about it and tells him to leave her the fuck alone. Tracy then says, “I don’t know why she’s being like this, it was just a goodnight kiss.” If he only knew how fucked up she really is.

Liz, Tim, Snake

At her locker Spike comes along all cheerful and asks her how the concert was. Liz says, “Fine!” Then she says that she doesn’t want to talk about it. Spike is now wondering what the hell her problem is. In the music room Tracy is jamming on the piano but stops when he spots Spike. He goes on to tell her about what happened and how he tried to kiss her good night. Spike says, “What do you mean kiss her good night?” See right away I’m annoyed. Those two always think that dudes always have evil intentions. Tracy goes on to tell her how it was just going to be a little peck. He asks her to talk to her and tell her that he’s sorry for him since she’s being all difficult.

Tim Spike

Spike finally finds Liz at the library and tells her how upset Tracy is about her not letting him apologize. Liz get’s all pissed off and says, “Oh great so you’re on his side.” Spike says that she’s on her side. Spike then says, “What is it with you and guys anyways?” Shit it’s about goddamn time that this issue be addressed already. Spike mentions how it’s ok to kiss a guy goodnight and Liz just has to be an asshole. She’s all, “Well it’s easy to see why you got pregnant.” Burn Spike! Spike says, “What sort of cheap shot was that?” Spike then asks her to finally tell her what’s wrong with her. But Liz says that she can’t.

Liz Spike

In the hallway Tessa interrupts Alex and Trish’s conversation. And whoa look at Trish’s hair, way different from when she was in Junior high. But she pulls him into a deserted class room and tells him how it’s obvious that he doesn’t like her. She starts bitching about how he hasn’t kissed her. She tries to break up with him. Just as she’s about to leave the room Alex swipes his glasses off like he’s Clark Kent and starts smooching with her. Tessa opens her eyes all wide because she can’t believe that he finally made a move. He leaves her all full of himself and she’s all smiles.

Tessa Alex

Seems like it’s after school and Joey is still working on his piece of shit car. Dwayne asks him where his friends are. Joey says, “Rats desert the sinking ship.” Since it’s obvious that Joey has no idea what he’s doing, Dwayne starts to work on the car. He mentions how his dad fixes up old cars, so he knows something about it. Joey tries to make conversation and asks him how it’s going. Dwayne says, “Great, I like being HIV positive.” Then he goes on to say that he dreams that he doesn’t have it, but then reality sets in once he wakes up. He then mentions that he wants to kill himself and how Joey is the only that knows. Even his parents don’t know. Dwayne says that his dad would kill him and stupid Joey says, “Well you wouldn’t have to do it yourself.” Dwayne looks at him like, I can’t believe you just said that. Joey apologizes for being an idiot, but Dwayne says it’s ok and actually starts to laugh about it. The car finally starts and Joey offers Dwayne a ride home.

Joey Dwayne

In Spike’s backyard she and Emma are hanging out while she does laundry. We must keep those Gourmet Scum band t shirts clean! Liz comes along and seems like she’s is ready to tell Spike why they moved to the area to begin with. She begins with how she was nine years old when her mom brought a boyfriend into the house and since her mom worked nights, it was just she and the albino alone. She starts to go on about how he started to gradually molest her. Liz was too afraid to tell her mom because she thought she would get pissed at her. But of course she did find out eventually and Liz was genuinely surprised that her mom wasn’t. She tells Spike that’s why she can’t be with a dude when they get so close. No wonder she went off on Joey and Tracy. This creepy music then comes on because she’s telling Spike about her nightmares. Spike tells her that she needs to talk someone to get help. I guess Spike really doesn’t want to know any of this.

Spike Liz

At school the next day Alex and Tessa come walking  by holding hands. Alex just has to be a lame nerd and tells Yick and Arthur, “Greetings gentlemen, now official. Tessa and me are going together.” Arthur says, “Chalk one up for the good guys.” He’s probably insanely jealous because he couldn’t get his dream girl Caitlin.

Alex Tessa couple

In the music room Tracy’s going at it on the piano again and Liz finally says hi to him and apologizes about her behavior. He asks her what he did wrong and she finally says that she over reacted and he did nothing. Tracy asks her if they’re friends again and Liz says, “Friends.” It’s a miracle she’s even smiling. I swear this chick always has a pissed off look to her face. So I call this the Miracle at Degrassi High!

Liz end credits

I guess this episode was alright. We finally got the origins of Liz’s hate for all things male. I guess a really creepy molesting albino motherfucker will do that to you. The B plot was alright too, I think we all knew that Alex had no game. But he must have sold his soul to Satan in order to have gotten Tessa. That or she really has very low self esteem.

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Author: Degrassi Guy

Hi there and welcome to my little corner of the Degrassi Universe in the far side of interwebs. For all ten of you who are reading this, welcome! Degrassi Junior High/High was a show produced in Canada that showed the trials and tribulations of every day students. This show tackled everything and I mean everything. From alcoholism, depression, pedophiles, bullies, eating disorders, hitchhiking, death of parents, adoption, teen pregnancy, hiding other products to get condoms so no one will notice. To pornography, suicide, getting the smack down from your mustached boyfriend and getting the guts to get away from him. If I missed anything, trust me. Degrassi didn't. Degrassi was pretty much as real as it got. Especially back when I first started seeing it. Saved by the Bell it was not. You never saw Zack Morris smoking weed, getting Kelly Kapowski pregnant or AC Slater giving Jessie a good beating when she sassed him. So sit back and get ready to reacquaint yourself with the beginning of the Degrassi Universe. For those of you who are new, you don't know what you're in for. But that's a good thing. This is Degrassi Junior High/High seen through my eyes. Basically what I loved and hated. Some of you may disagree with what I think, but that's ok. Mostly though, after all these years later. I still love this cheesy show.

Well what are you waiting for? What did you think?

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