So wow! We have finally arrived to the final season of Degrassi. It’s a bit bitter sweet, but I’m glad to see that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.
Pre-credit opener: Joey is in a used car lot salivating over a Mustang. The dealer offers Joey to take it out for a test drive but Joey can’t because he has to get his ass to school. But he says, “Oh baby, I have got to have you!” In the opening credits they added sound effects. It was the one and only time this happened. Who knows why they did that for.
It’s the first day of school and Joey comes running all excited. He shows the dudes a flier of the car and he says that he’s going to get it. Snake has to be a buzz kill and says how expensive it is. Joey said he saved money during Summer with his job but it turns out he only has 75 dollars. But Joey says that he’ll find a way of getting it.
BLT comes holding hands with this black chick. He tells her that they better stop right there before anyone sees them. Apparently he hasn’t told Michelle that he’s seeing this girl now. He tells her that he’s been waiting because Michelle is a big cry baby and cries about everything. She tells him to get it over with because she wants to be with and they smooch for a bit.
Mr Raditch comes out of his office with Dwayne and he’s explaining all this shit that he has to do now because he’s a fucking asshole and keeps getting into trouble. Raditch tells him that he has to do this because no other school wanted him with his record and he better not fuck it up. He talks to Cave boy and his girlfriend. He busts out this picture of this girl named Penny. He said that he’s his new girlfriend. But I call fucking bullshit here. You can tell he ripped it out of a magazine or something. Nick says, “Do you expect us to believe that a babe like this would go out with you?” Dwayne says, “Go out with me and go to bed with me.” Dwayne swears it’s true, but if someone was desperate enough to fuck his fat ass, it wouldn’t be a girl like that. Unless she had bad self esteem.
Michelle comes out of a class room and hugs and kisses BLT. He tells her, “Please don’t cry.” I couldn’t believe she was actually crying over that! But she says that she was just so glad to see him. BLT of course chickens out of telling Michelle that she’s dumped.
We cut to Lucy making a video tape for LD. I forgot that they’re in the 11th grade now. Seems like Lucy got a brand new smaller ancient video recorder. Simon asks her where LD is and while Heather is filming them, Lucy tells them that LD has gone into remission and even grew her hair back. But that’s not the end of it. Lucy further explains that her dad thought that life is too short. So he sold the garage and everything and got a boat to sail the islands. What islands? Who knows. But what a terrible idea that the writers came up with. That makes zero sense. Erica then interrupts them to say that they put condom machines in the restroom. She seems way too excited about it too.
We come upon Dwayne and the other dickheads in special ed. As soon as Joey comes in he starts to harass him. Joey asks him that he knows that they’re not buddies, but can they just let bygones be bygones. Fucking Dwayne brings up what Joey said in the 2nd season of Degrassi Junior High. Can you believe this fat asshole? God I hate him so much! Joey of course pussies out about the fight they had and says that he’s sorry. Joey asks him if they can just get along. Dwayne agrees to a truce. Stupid Joey believes him and as he’s walking by they trip him. He should have punched him in his balls. That fucker. The teacher walks in and she looks just like Angela Lansbury.
I think it’s after school and Alexa suggests that they all go get some pizza. But BLT says that they can’t go because football try outs are going to happen. Simon says that the first game is in two weeks. Man they’re starting late. I remember at my high school football tryouts and practice started way before the first day of school. BLT promises to call Michelle that night, but even she can sense something is up.
In the girls shitter Lucy is demonstrating how to use the condom machine. Man she must be really fucking bored if she’s filming that. In the boys restroom Dwayne and Capt Caveman’s son are breaking one of the machines open to use the condoms as water balloons. I knew they would have no real use for them.
In the big ramp Joey is telling the dudes how he needs the car. Meanwhile Dwayne is running up in the ramp to throw the condom. I’m surprised the ramp didn’t break due to Dwayne’s excessive weight. Of course Joey has to be right under him and he drops it. He completely misses and just messes up Joey’s flier. Joey get’s super pissed off and yells, “What a jerk!”
At the car lot Snake is admiring the fact that the car comes with a tape deck. That right, you read that correctly. A tape deck. The car salesman comes out and feeds Joey a line of bullshit about someone else being interested in the car. Of course stupid Joey falls for it. He says that he wants to put money down on it that night. He asks if 75 dollars is ok, but the guy tells him he wants 400 dollars. Snake starts in on him again, but Joey tells him that he can get the money from his parents. And why shouldn’t he think that? He’s a spoiled, entitled asshole who always get’s what he wants.
BLT comes by and Michelle tells him how he didn’t call the night before. She asks him if she’s done something wrong. BLT pussy foots about it and still doesn’t tell her what’s going on.
In the hallway Joey is telling Snake and Wheels how his parents are dead broke and can’t give him the money. Snake asks him if he can borrow the money from someone else. Joey immediately smiles at him and Snake tells him that he’s broke, Wheels saying the same. Joey wonders how he can make some money fast. Snake comes up with something that happened when his brother was in high school. Basically someone streaked for some money and they bet people. Plus he didn’t get caught because there was a staff meeting. Just then Raditch is on the PA announcing that there’s going to be a staff meeting that day during lunch. Joey takes it as a sign.
Back with Dwayne the black chick tells Dwayne when he’s going to get rid of his bullshit picture. I gotta say, I’ve seen this show a million times already and I’ve never caught this girls name once! But who cares?! Dwayne tells them that he doesn’t care if they don’t believe him. He goes on to ask them how they’re going to torment Joey that day. And that’s why I hate this motherfucker. I know it’s just a show, but I hate mean spirited assholes like him.
The zits run into Lucy and the twins in the hallway and they go on their pitch about walking naked through the cafeteria. They tell them about the bet and Joey says that if he doesn’t do it or get’s caught, he’ll pay them. Joey agrees to just wear a hat to hide his dick. The girls reluctantly agree and they give Snake five dollars to hold. We then get a montage of them bothering people. Simon for once says something that makes a lot of sense. “Why would I want to pay to see him naked?”
As he’s walking in the special ed room making a bet with Luke, Dwayne trips him again. Joey asks him if he’s going to be doing this shit all year. But Dwayne is being an insufferable prick. The teacher tells them about some speakers that are coming in to talk to them about Aids. Right off the bat Dwayne and his dickhead friends make really shitty remarks. They then start to talk like stereotypical gay guys. Dwayne then says, “It’s scary for homo’s and druggies, but not for us.”
As they come out of the class room Dwayne says, “My dad said that queers deserve Aids if they’re going to be doing that kind of stuff.” So there you go, the scum bag doesn’t fall far from the tree. Just then the black chick tells them about Joey’s bet. Dwayne get’s a bright idea and decides to rat out Joey. What a motherfucker I swear!
In the cafeteria a huge fucking crowd is gather chanting Joey’s name. In the rest room Snake tells Joey that they’ve collected 314 dollars. Wheels comes in with a flashers trench coat from lost and found. Joey comes out looking all nervous and they head on over there. Snake walks in and says, “Joey’s clothes!!” Everyone screams all excited. Wheels can tell that Joey is hella nervous and tells him that he doesn’t have to do it. But Joey says that he’ll owe everyone and lose his car. While all that is happening Dwayne knocks on the staff room and asks to talk to Mr Raditch.
Wheels takes Joey’s trench coat off and he walks in yelling, “Joey’s coat!” Everyone goes crazy again. Just then Dwayne walks in and starts shoving people aside. Fucking A! I swear everything this guy is doing in this episode is annoying the shit out of me. Moving on Joey is now completely naked and walks into the cafeteria. As he’s walking in we get a shot of his ass. We didn’t need that! Everyone just screams even louder going crazy. Lucy meanwhile is recording the whole thing for LD. Alexa’s bug eyes get even bigger at the sight of him. As he walks by Tessa makes an OMG face. But that’s when Mr Raditch walks in and busts Joey. Everyone runs away. As he’s being led away Dwayne and his dick head friends are laughing their asses off. Thus making it obvious that it was them that ratted him out.
Snake is having a near riot at his hands as he’s paying everyone off for the bet. Dwayne comes by laughing over the fact that they got Joey busted. Wheels once again points out the obvious and says, “It was them!” Snake is like Steve Martin in Planes, Trains and Automobiles and says, “Do you think so?”
At Dwayne’s house his dad tells him that Penny keeps calling for him. He get’s all excited and calls her back. He starts to eat a pizza while he’s talking to her because he’s a fat fuck. I had to turn the sound up because I couldn’t hear a word she is saying, the audio is so bad at times. Anyways she starts crying and says, “I don’t know what I’m going to do?” Dwayne asks her what’s up and she says, “Do you remember telling you about my old boyfriend?” “He’s tested HIV positive” “I went to the Dr and I’m positive too.” She tells him how he has to get tested too now. The episode ends with to be continued.
As it fades away we come on Stacie Mistysyn and Pat Mastroianni who play Caitlin and Joey. Basically they sound like a lame PSA telling the audience about the facts of Aids and HIV. They then give a phone number out if anyone is afraid that they’re infected.
All in all, this was a very annoying episode but it had a great ending. That piece of shit got what he deserved. Funny how he actually got lucky enough to bang someone and that happens to him. But it couldn’t have happened to a better person. I have no sympathy for him. So fuck that and fuck him in his Aid’s riddled diseased anus. And yes I know this is just a fictional character. But he is the worst!
Some in site news, I’ll be taking about a two week break from all this madness. But don’t worry. The blog will return with the shocking conclusion to this two part cluster fuck.