Degrassi Junior High Reviewed

Degrassi Junior High Reviewed is a blog about the sometimes cheesy, a lot of times badly acted, but beloved Canadian 80's tv series. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who just loves Canadian melodrama. New reviews every week, on Mondays and Thursday's.

Season 1, Episode 14, “It Creeps!”

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This episode is another favorite of mine. Because that’s right, Lucy finally makes her horrible movie! Plus I love the fact that this is being published in October.

Pre-credit opener: We see Lucy sporting her Skippy peanut butter shirt and she’s busy typing away on this ancient device called a Typewriter. Right off the bat she’s ripping off Psycho, but the roles are reversed. We see Simon taking a shower while some chick comes in with a knife. Already she’s congratulating herself on what a great movie it’s going to be. Simon get’s killed of course and Lucy is so unoriginal that she even has shot of bloody water going down the drain.

lucy simon

In Mr Walfish’s class, he’s going on about everyone writing a screen play. He says that their next assignment is a stage play. Tracy Morgan comes up to Lucy and asks her if she’s going to ask Mr Walfish something. She says since she got an A+, she’s definitely going to ask. Heather is excited about this idea too. He should have given her an F for plagiarizing Alfred Hitchcock. Walfish tells Lucy that he loved her idea of a feminist slasher film. At that, Lucy asks him if they can film it instead of doing the play, but Mr Walfish tells them no. Right away Heather says, “You said if we wanted to experiment to come to you to talk about it.” I think he meant doing drugs, but they insist that they really wanna do it and Lucy says since she has a camera, they can do it on the weekend. Mr Walfish says that if they can plan everything out, then he’ll consider it. Tracy says, “That’s fair.” And they all leave happy.

lucy, heather, tim

Walking down the big ass ramp, Lucy says that they need to start finding actors. She says that she’ll find Simon since he’s into that. They say that they’ll get Wheels, Joey and Snake to be in it too. Tracy says, “Blitz the Zits.” Lucy then says that she wants Caitlin to play the killer of the movie since she’s acted before and is a feminist. Tracy says that he can get some Ketchup from one of his uncles who conveniently owns a restaurant.

We come upon Spike, Liz and Patrick. He gives her a smooch goodbye and the girls start talking about what play they wanna write. But that’s as far as they get. Because guess who’s back? That’s right Shane! And goddamn, I know it’s not PC to say it like this, but he is completely retarded because of his accident. We see him yelling at Luke saying, “Dumb Jerk, you should get kicked in the head!” It’s obvious that he’s looking for Spike, but Spike makes a run for it before he spots her. Good move there. It’s clear he’s completely unstable.

shane

The Zits come out of the school and they’re wondering why he was shouting at Luke for. Wheels saying how weird he is now. Snake reminds everyone how he jumped off a bridge and ended up completely fucked up. Joey says, “The guy was stupid enough to take acid.” Another good point.

It’s another day at Degrassi High and Lucy is seen bothering Caitlin about being in her stupid movie. But Caitlin says that she can’t. Since she got into deep shit, she’s grounded and has to do community service. But Lucy says since it’s during the weekend and school related it shouldn’t be no problem. But Caitlin is still unsure. Until she see’s Claude. She asks with evil intentions, “All the guys get killed?” Then she says that she’ll do it.

caitlin lucy

We then see Lucy trying to talk the Zits into being in her movie. Wheels says, “A feminist horror movie?” Joey says, “Why?” Lucy comes up with this long winded explanation how she’s tired of seeing women being the victims all the time in horror movies. Then she throws in their faces how they owe her for doing their music video for free. Joey says, “We’re not going to look stupid are we?” Lucy says, “Not more than usual.” I’m telling you, always with a shitty remark. After she insults them, they agree to be in it.

the zits

Man Lucy is recruiting everyone to be in her little movie. Simon can’t believe that she’s asking him to be in it. He says that he’ll take it since he’s getting lines. Alexa wants to be in it too, but Lucy tells her that the only female role has been cast already. Alexa of course get’s all sad, but then get’s really fucking happy after Lucy offers her the job of script assistant. I’m pretty sure Alexa is bi polar. Her moods change at the drop of a hat. It’s hilarious to hear Simon say, “Finally a chance to finally act!”

alexa

We see Shane and Luke hanging out again and Luke tells him how it’s 9 AM and Shane should be getting his ass to his own school but he finally spots Spike.  He says hi and Spike is all awkward. Shane says that they’re finally letting him out by himself so he thinks he’s better. Spike then says that they have to go to class and just buzzes on by. Shane loses his shit and starts shouting at them saying, “Fine!” “Go ahead and walk away you dumb jerks.” “See if I care, you should be kicked in the head!” Spike repeats what he says and acts all shocked at his behavior. But she should realize that he’s completely insane and brain damaged at this point.

spike shane

Lucy hands in her script to Mr Walfish and it looks like a comic book. But I guess it was good enough for him. He ok’s it, but Lucy still has the nerve to ask him if he can come on Saturday to supervise them. Again, he agree’s to do it. Man, no teacher would be that cool. I call bullshit.

It’s finally Saturday and the day looks gloomy as hell. So it’s perfect for them to film their little horror movie. The whole gang is waiting outside with their props. Mr Walfish comes along and lets them in, saying he’ll be in the staff room. They get to filming and all of them look like complete dip shits. Joey is your stereotypical nerd. Snake looks like a gay motorcycle enthusiast. Simon is wearing his football gear and Wheels just looks like Wheels. The way Snake is talking. He sounds like one of those goombas from New York. Caitlin meanwhile is playing a character named Debby and she’s dressed like a 50’s teenager. As they’re saying their lines Joey fucks things up by calling her Caitlin instead. They all start laughing and Lucy gets all pissed off at them, telling them to take shit seriously. Wheels tells her that the whole setting isn’t very scary. She says that she knows what she’s doing since she got the A+.

caitlin it creeps lucy pissed

I just noticed this. We see a picture of this old looking dude and we hear some ghostly laughter. What was that all about? Anyways, they continue to film the next scene with Snake being the worlds worst actor.  In the back ground Joey, Tim, Simon and Wheels are laughing their asses off at his fake screaming. He can’t do it for shit. Lucy asks him if he can be more believable. They then start saying how the movie isn’t scary at all. Shit, if it was a real horror situation, Joey would be the biggest pussy there.

snake it creeps tim, simon, wheels, joey

Lucy is now filming the shower scene, but Simon ruins shit by trying to sound like he’s a real actor. He wants to know what his motivation is. What an asshole. Lucy knows that she can’t get through to him because he’s an idiot and she asks Alexa to talks to him. She says, “Simon, don’t think.” “Act.” Oddly enough it works.

simon shower

We come upon Wheels and Simon acting like they’re scared. Wheels says that he heard a noise coming from another room and he tells Simon that he’s going to check it out. Simon sounds like a big coward saying, “No Johnny don’t go.” All of a sudden Caitlin pulls Wheels inside presumably to murder him. While they can’t be seen by the camera Tracy is putting his fake blood all over Wheels in the class room. As they’re doing that, Lucy tells Simon to act like he’s really scared. Meanwhile while she’s filming Joey is saying, ‘This is so fake, guys don’t scare that easy.” Wouldn’t that be a ruined take? How is she going to edit that shit out, she only has an ancient video camera? She must be so rich that she has her own studio in her house. Oh yeah, so Wheels comes back out and does this really dramatic death scene. He takes forever to die. Joey just has to say loud as hell, “This is so fake!” The scene is over and they all congratulate him on a job well done. He then says that he’s going to go take a shower to get all that shit off of him.

wheels

Finally the best scene of the movie. Joey get’s killed. Lucy is talking him through it and Caitlin pulls him into a class room and stabs the shit out of him. He leaves a bloody hand print on the door as Lucy says cut. During all this Wheels is taking his shower. Just then someone opens up the door and Wheels get’s all scared. We even hear the same creepy music that was played through out the episode. He keeps calling out, asking if it’s Joey but no one answers. It turns out it was the janitor doing his rounds, rocking his cassette player. But what was he doing there on a weekend? Plot hole I guess, but who cares.

joey dying
wheels scared

It’s finally Monday I guess and Shane tries to talk to Spike again. What a surprise, Liz is trying her hardest to get her to not speak to him. I swear, she’s always trying to get her to not do shit. Spike insists and says hi to him. He tells her that he goes to a special school. All of a sudden he asks her if she would like to go to a movie sometime. Spike for once showing some tact very gently tells him no. Of course he instantly get’s pissed and says, “Why not?!” She says that she just doesn’t think that they should. He goes with calling her a dumb jerk again. At that Liz tries to pull Spike away, but Spike says that she’s really sorry about what’s happened, but they should move on with their lives. She then says that maybe they can have some coffee some time and just talk as friends. Finally satisfied the maniac says, “That would be nice.” I bet she never called him up.

shane insane spike

In Mr Walfish’s class it’s finally time for a viewing of Lucy’s movie. Lucy get’s up to speak. She has Lucy Fernandez Productions written on her sweater. I couldn’t stop laughing at how it looks. She goes on to thank everyone who worked on it and hopes they really enjoy it.

lucy fernandez productions

As the movie starts Tracy looks super gay as a rip off of the MGM Lion. Right off the bat everyone starts laughing at that and the title. Lucy makes a face like she didn’t like that one bit. Fuck as soon as Snake starts talking everyone just starts laughing their asses off even harder. She instantly get’s disappointed because everyone is just laughing at everything being said and done. She walks outside looking all sad, the sound of laughter chasing her. But what did she expect? You can’t take people you know seriously in what looks like a terrible low budget movie.

tim class laughing

She sits by some lockers all sad and Mr Walfish asks her what’s going on. She says, “They hate it.” “They’re laughing at everything, they’re not even listening to the dialog.” She continues to say that it was supposed to be scary. Mr Walfish tells her that he’s very impressed and encourages her to keep trying until she perfects her shitty craft. He asks her to come back inside and reluctantly she does.

lucy mr walfish

She walks in right at the part where Wheels comes out dying a bloody death. Seems like it was effective. Joey says, “Ew.” But I’m surprised we didn’t hear Joey’s obnoxious ass talking in the back ground during that scene. How did she edit that out?! The last scene is Simon taking a shower and the killer comes along and stabs him a new asshole. Everyone sees to be all into it and finally Lucy cracks a smile. Caitlin takes a mask off and on the wall it says “The End” in blood. And that’s where everyone claps for Degrassi’s first snuff film. You gotta give it to her, she did a pretty good job for being a first movie. The episode ends with Lucy and a huge shit eating grin.

caitlin the end class clapping lucy end credits

Again, I love this episode for some reason. Mostly because I love horror films and this was the closest that Degrassi ever came to doing something like this. Plus it was funny to see them act even more horribly than usual.

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Author: Degrassi Guy

Hi there and welcome to my little corner of the Degrassi Universe in the far side of interwebs. For all ten of you who are reading this, welcome! Degrassi Junior High/High was a show produced in Canada that showed the trials and tribulations of every day students. This show tackled everything and I mean everything. From alcoholism, depression, pedophiles, bullies, eating disorders, hitchhiking, death of parents, adoption, teen pregnancy, hiding other products to get condoms so no one will notice. To pornography, suicide, getting the smack down from your mustached boyfriend and getting the guts to get away from him. If I missed anything, trust me. Degrassi didn't. Degrassi was pretty much as real as it got. Especially back when I first started seeing it. Saved by the Bell it was not. You never saw Zack Morris smoking weed, getting Kelly Kapowski pregnant or AC Slater giving Jessie a good beating when she sassed him. So sit back and get ready to reacquaint yourself with the beginning of the Degrassi Universe. For those of you who are new, you don't know what you're in for. But that's a good thing. This is Degrassi Junior High/High seen through my eyes. Basically what I loved and hated. Some of you may disagree with what I think, but that's ok. Mostly though, after all these years later. I still love this cheesy show.

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