Previously on Degrassi High, we see Michelle getting an ancient dust covered ring for her birthday that belonged to her grandmother. Then we see her pissed off at her dad for not letting her do jack shit. Then she calls him a racist and moves out on her own and hocks her grandma’s ring to get money to rent out a room. Saying that she’ll get a job to buy it back. It’ll only take her about 10 years.
Michelle decides to apply at a donut shop and the lady working there is giving her the third degree. Saying that she’s hired high school students before and she hasn’t been impressed. But Michelle insists that she can do it. So apparently she got the job because it’s suddenly time for school and Michelle is telling Alexa all about getting the job and the hours she has to work. Seems she get’s off at midnight but she thinks she’ll be able to get her homework done too. Yeah right. Alexa then mentions how she’s really excited about her 16th birthday party. Because this is info we’ll need for later damn it!
Oh boy. We see Lucy with her old ass video camera and she’s shooting a bunch of bits around the school for LD. Allison and Amy come along and ask Heather if it’s true that LD has Leukemia. For some reason she denies it and just tells them that they don’t know what’s wrong with her. So they start a little rap with Scooter and two other black dudes. But why is Kathleen there for? She gives the world’s worst rap, even more than Caitlin’s. As they’re watching this Allison and Amy ask if they can be a part of this madness too. To finish this scene Scooter does this really spastic dance routine. I have no idea what the fuck he was doing here. But he looked like a fool.
Back with the Zits, Snake and Joey are still making fun of each other over how much they suck at driving. Wheels reminds them that it’s not a competition and that they both equally have no driving skills.
BLT is walking Michelle to the donut place for her first day on the job. He wishes her luck and off she goes. Her first menial job is to wipe the counters. That was fast, back in her room, her dad knocks on her door and asks if he can come in. She tells him that she was at work and he get’s super pissed off, but she tells him that she has responsibilities now. After he calms down he asks her how she’s doing and basically he cuts to the point and says that he wants the pawn ticket so he can buy his mom’s ring back. Of course she get’s pissed off and says that she’s going to get it on her own. But he tells her the truth, that she’s going to take a fucking eon just to save enough money with her shitty job. He then says, “Don’t talk like an ass.” She tells him not to talk to her like that, it’s her house, or room. But finally she gives in and gives him the ticket. She knows deep down that she never would have gotten that dusty old ring back.
Back with Lucy and her ridiculous tape. It seems like the twins are acting as masters of ceremonies, because they’re introducing each person or people who are giving her get well messages. Allison and Amy are up next and they start talking about how hot, awesome and cool they are at the school. Just then Clutch and some black dude smash some pies into their faces. They all have a good laugh and they say, “Happy birthday LD, hope to see you back here soon!”
We then see BLT telling Alexa that he won’t be able to make it to her stupid party because he has a soccer tournament and he won’t be back until Sunday. As he’s telling her this, she get’s this really sad face and says how terrible that news is. She comes pouting and they come upon Michelle. Who is sleeping it off because of her late nights now. Alexa then tells her about BLT not being able to come to her party on Friday. Just then Michelle also tells her that she can’t go because she has to work. Alexa of course over reacts because she’s spoiled as hell and she says, “I can’t believe it, my 16th birthday.” “Which I’ve only been planning since I was 13, and two of my best friends won’t be there!” She storms off and looks at them like she wants to cry. What a baby. Michelle then tells BLT that she’s late for work and he reminds her how she’s worked four nights in a row now, but she says she needs the bread. BLT said, “Then get a job at the bakery!” No, actually he says that she’s doing horrible in school and she’s late every day too. She doesn’t want to admit that her stupid job is running everything.
Back to Drivers ED, Joey is now behind the wheel. As the instructor is trying to teach him, Joey just keeps saying, “Yeah, ok, I got it.” And it’s pretty clear he’s not even paying attention. He starts to go pretty decent, but then he reverses the car and he almost runs into some people and doesn’t stop the goddamn car until he hits a fence.
We see Michelle struggling with getting out late and not getting enough sleep. She get’s a phone call and the lady that rented the room out to her is having trouble waking her ass up. It turns out that it’s her manager and she wants her to come in during the day, which means she would miss school. Michelle tells her that and the lady says, “You can miss it just once can’t you?” “Come on, I really need you!” Which I’m pretty sure that it’s illegal to make her come into work while she has school. Unless things are different in Canada. Michelle of course can’t tell her no and she says that she’ll be in.
Joey and Snake are still talking about drivers ed and we hear Joey already talking about his parents getting him a car. Snake says that he hasn’t read the hand book. And Joey shows how much of an idiot he is because he said he didn’t read it, but looked at the pictures. I can’t believe he would admit something like that. But he did. Wheel’s wishes them luck because they’ll be taking the test that night.
We then continue with Alexa and her party drama. Seems like Joann can’t make it to her party either. That’s when Simon breaks the news to her that he won’t be able to come too because he got a commercial gig and they’ll be filming the night of the party. She get’s all pissed off and hurt and says, “Forget it, no one wants to come to my party?” “Fine!” “I’ll cancel it, in fact let’s cancel my whole birthday!” “I’ll be 15 for the rest of my life.” And of course she starts crying and runs away. Simon says that he’s sorry and she says, “Stay away from me, you actor!” Simon has a really confused look on his face and he mouths, “actor?”
We come back to Lucy and the Twins introduce Tracy Morgan’s terrible magic act. Bart seems to be his lovely assistant. He then makes the corniest magic trick in the history of ever. He just pretended to move one finger from one hand to another. After that waste of time, they both wish LD a happy birthday. Thank God Lucy says that it was the last bit of the video. Alexa then comes around yelling at everyone how her birthday party is now ruined due to no one wanting to go to it. As she’s ranting she see’s the camera and smiles. She then says, “Is that a camera?” Lucy makes a what the fuck face and they cut.
In class we hear BLT getting called up to the office. Turns out it’s Michelle’s dad that wants to talk to him. BLT immediately backs away as soon as he see’s him. They start talking all tensely. He starts to tell BLT about her attendance problems and he asks him if he knows where she is. After BLT gives him some more attitude. He basically begs BLT for some help because he doesn’t want to lose his daughter too. BLT finally tells him, not because of his racist ass, but because he’s worried about her too.
Back to Joey and Snake, it’s time for their drivers test and man. Their instructor is all fucked up. He has a neck brace on. Snake wishes Joey luck and he tells the hot chick doing the actual test that he’s one Joey Jeremiah. He just guns the fucking car and they take off. Moments later we hear a loud crash. Pretty clear dumbass failed instantly.
We come upon the hospital and it seems like Lucy, the twins and Alexa have a big birthday blow out planned for LD. Lucy knocks on her door and LD tells her to wait so she can put her wig on. They come into the room making a huge fucking racket. Lucy tells her about the video and LD is all, “Thanks.” Lucy then starts giving her shit about not being happy about it. She should have told her, “I’m dying you fool!” But instead she just smiles and just then Alexa comes with her birthday cake. I love how she scratched her name off and put LD instead on it. Alexa wishes her a very happy sweet 16 and LD wishes her the same. Then they give each other a peck on the cheek. Finally Lucy puts on her terrible video. I wonder how she was able to edit all this down?
Finally her dad finds Michelle working at the donut place during school hours. Just then her boss comes by and ask what the problem is. Her dad tells her who he is and that he wants to talk to her. The lady says sure, but then tells Michelle, “Michelle don’t be too long, this is a business.” What fucking nerve she has. Anyways, she asks her dad how he found her and he says that BLT told him where she was. She can’t believe her fucking ears. He goes on to tell her how they’re both really worried about her. But she insists that she’s fine. He then tells her that he got the ring back and if she wants it still, it’s hers. He tries to appeal to her about not working at that terrible place and about the fact that she doesn’t have to live somewhere else. She says that she doesn’t want to go back to his dictatorship with all his goddamn rules. Apparently he told his wife what to do all the time. He tells her that he’s trying to change for the better.
Back at school it seems like both Snake and Joey failed due to being fucking idiots. Just then we hear a car honking and it’s Fat Nancy. Seems like she got a license and a new car from her parents. After she’s done bragging, Snake and Joey just say their signature line of, “Dynamite.” That’s another reason why people hate Fat Nancy. Her smugness. They should have asked her if someone greased her up so she can fit in that tiny car.
We come back to BLT and Michelle and he’s repeating everything that she told him I guess. Seems like her dad agreed to her living in her room and he’s even paying half of the rent so that she wont’ have to work so hard and miss school. Michelle says that she’s going to dinner on Sunday and she invites BLT. But BLT says that her dad is a honky racist still and he’s not ready for his shit yet. She says ok and they smooch.
I’m so glad I got through this two parter. For some reason I can’t stand these episodes. Probably because I don’t care for Michelle’s bullshit drama. Or Snake and Joey’s quest to get a drivers license. But it was still better than a juvenile Arthur and Yick story.
Degrassi Junior High Reviewed 