Ok, let me just say. I fucking hate this two parter. It’s so boring and I could careless about Michelle’s problems with her over bearing asshole of a dad. But goddamn it, the show must go on.
Pre-credit opener: Well it’s Michelle’s birthday and her dad gives her this really old dusty ring that belonged to her grandmother. Apparently she’s 16 and her dad thought it was time for her to have it. I love how he has to mention that it’s valuable. Michelle then asks her dad if she can go with her friends to celebrate her birthday. But of course her dad has to be a complete dick and tells her, “You know the rules, no socializing on weeknights.” Michelle just stares at her ring, pissed off! I’m sorry I gotta point out, Michelle has gotten busty as hell!!
So we get to Degrassi and Fat Nancy and Tracy Morgan wish her a happy birthday. Michelle mentions she’ll be going out to celebrate on the weekend. She doesn’t say why though.
We cut to Patrick, Spike and Liz. Patrick mentions that Spike is her musical muse. I can’t believe she didn’t get pissed at that. But she loved it. Oh God no, he says that he’s written a song just for her. Michelle comes to her locker and Simon and Alexa have decorated the hell out of it. She asks her with crazy bug eyes if she feels any different and of course she doesn’t. Alexa then gives her a present, It looks like a terrible Hawaiian shirt. She mentions that her birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. Michelle then shows off her ring and then starts to go off on her dad. Everyone points out that it’s her birthday, but she’s confined to being home.
Uh oh, Snake and Joey are signing up for Drivers ED. So you know already that there’s going to be some hi jinx involved. Especially if Joey’s corny ass is taking the class. Wheels mentions that he wishes that he could take the class with them, but he doesn’t turn 16 for another month.
HAHA! Patrick is singing this God awful song to spike. Singing about being a poor and lonely boy. He mentions her name Christine a couple of times too. It’s funny Liz seems to just love the song while Spike is all, “I like it.” Patrick leaves and Spike is acting really weird. I guess she’s not into him anymore. That or she got disgusted by his lousy song.
In case we didn’t know what his name was, BLT has a sweater that has BLT stenciled on it. He gives her a necklace for her birthday and gives her a smooch. Alexa comes along and just goes into ecstasy’s about it. They then start talking about how over bearing her dad is and they all suggest that she moves out. I guess 16 years old is legal in Canada. But everything get’s ruined by Ms Avery. She tells them sternly, “I think a little studying is in order, don’t you?” The fuck is her problem? Anyways, they ignore her and start talking about having parties every night.
Class is dismissed and the twins invite Lucy along to the mall, but she tells them that she’s going to go visit LD. They ask if they can come along to see her and Lucy tells them that she doesn’t want a lot of people to come and visit her. Which actually makes her sound like a shithead. They point out how she doesn’t want anyone there except for her.
Liz and Spike are talking and Patrick comes along and asks her if she wants to go out and have some pizza. But Spike moves his hand off of her shoulder and tells him that she can’t. He mentions how it’s his only free night from band practice and of course she just has to get all pissed off at him saying, “I can’t build my entire life around your schedule.” Patrick tells her, “I didn’t say you should.” Patrick asks Liz what the fuck that was all about, but Liz is as clueless as he is. Could it be that Spike is just an asshole? I think so.
In Drivers Ed class Joey is being his typical tactless self and is telling Snake that he’s wasting his time because he’s not going to pass the class. Snake says, “If I don’t pass, there’s no way you’ll pass.” Joey insists that he can drive because his dad has let him steer the wheel around the parking lot once. Fat Nancy tells them hi and points out the obvious that they’re taking the class too. The instructor Henry walks in and tells them that they basically don’t know shit about driving. He asks them the question of what they’re supposed to do first before driving somewhere. Joey of course has to act like an idiot and says, “Start the engine?” Everyone laughs of course and he tells him that he’s wrong. Fat Nancy raises her hand and she sounds like a handbook. Saying that you should check the tires and to make sure there’s nothing behind them. Joey puts his hand on her desk and she just moves it. See it’s little things like that that makes people hate Fat Nancy. Seriously, a lot of people hate her character so much!
Back at the hospital Lucy knocks on the door and gives LD enough time to put on a wig as she is now completely bald due to the chemo. She looks like Wheels now with that hair. Anyways, Lucy comes in all cheerful and tells her that everyone is asking about her and she doesn’t know what to say. LD just says, “Then tell them.” Pretty clear she’s miserable and doesn’t give a fuck now. Stupid Lucy asks her, “LD what’s wrong?” LD sarcastically says, “Oh nothing Lucy, I’ve got Luekemia, I’ve lost all my hair.” “I feel awful.” “We rented this stupid hair.” (She didn’t really say that) “But apart from that everything is peachy keen.” She tells her how she has to be there for another month and even has to be there for her 16th birthday. Man, so man different characters are turning 16 in just a matter of weeks.
BLT is walking Michelle home and he keeps insisting that she tell her dad how she should be able to go out because she’s 16 now. But Michelle doesn’t want to rock the boat. Meanwhile her dad is acting like a huge creep. He’s looking out at them while they kiss. Michelle walks in and tells him that they need to talk. Her dad is all, “I guess we do.” “I saw what happened out there, you and that boy.” You can tell he was being racist with the way he said boy. It seems like he’s humiliated at the fact that she has a black boy friend and everyone could see them kissing outside. He then says that he’s told her that he doesn’t want her seeing him and he won’t be disobeyed. Michelle finally get’s fed up and basically accuses him of being a racist prick and even calls him one. He get’s pissed and he says that she’s now grounded. Michelle tells him that she’s not going to follow his stupid ass rules anymore and he’s all, “If you don’t like, it, you can leave.” Michelle calls his bluff and she says that she’s leaving. So she goes inside her room and packs all her shit up. Including some stuffed animals.
Of course she has no where to go and she goes to Alexa’s. Alexa opens the door with huge bug eyes once again and asks all excited if her dad changed his mind. But Michelle tells her how they got into a huge fucking fight and she left home.
The next day at school Patrick comes yelling for Spike and Spike just looks at him and walks away. Liz finally asks her what’s up with her treating him like shit. But Spike just says that she doesn’t want to talk about it and tells Liz to mind her own fucking business. Liz get’s super pissed and is about to storm off but Spike stops her and begins to say what’s bothering her. She tells Liz that she likes him and that the whole situation is just too perfect. She’s just scared that she’s going to lose him because in her mind, who would want her because she’s short as fuck and is a mother.
The twins run into Lucy and ask her how she’s doing. Lucy finally tells them that LD has Leukemia. Lucy goes on to tell them that LD is really depressed, especially about being stuck there for her birthday. Lucy then tells them that she wants to make a video for her and the twins agree to help. Yeah, I can already tell that this is going to suck ass and be hilarious at the same time.
In the library BLT is laughing his ass off at the news of Michelle leaving her dad. He’s all, “Man I would give my left nut to see the look on your dad’s face when you walked out the door.” Simon asks her if he even tried to stop her, but she says that all he said was, “You’ll be back, mark my words!” Michelle tells them that she doesn’t want to stay at Alexa’s forever and wants to get her own place, starting after school.
Wow, so it’s after school and they’re already on the hunt for apartments. Basically every place is way too expensive for Michelle to get. At one place Alexa being Greek comes in handy and she talks to this old lady and in they go. Then out again, because she can’t afford shit.
Uh oh. Snake and Joey are inside the driver’s ed car with Fat Nancy and Snake of course is a nervous wreck. He doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing. He finally starts the car and he guns the fucking gas. They stop and off he goes again, meanwhile Joey just has to be a dick. What happens next is a fucking massacre in the drivers ed course. Snake manages to hit every obstacle that’s in front of him. Cones, card board people, dogs. He finally stops the car and Joey is laughing so hard I think he died of a heart attack.
Back with Michelle’s apartment search. They knock on this door and Michelle tells the lady that she’s there to look at the apartment. She says, ‘Hi sure.” But then get’s one look at BLT and and makes this sour face and says, “I’m sorry it’s already taken.” BLT of course get’s pissed and says, “What the mother fuck?!” Michelle just tells him to go. He should have thrown a trash can through her window.
They come upon a house and it seems like she would only be renting a room. It turns out she can actually get it if she hocks her grandma’s ugly ring. Michelle says that she’s not going to let her dad win. The lady insists that she shouldn’t wait too long because other girls are interested in the room too. But she’s full of shit. She just wants to sucker Michelle into renting it.
The next day at school Joey is telling Wheels all about Snake’s misadventure and just won’t shut the fuck up about it. Wheels actually tells them enough because he’s getting tired of hearing about it. Snake of course calls him a jerk.
Else where Patrick comes along yelling, “Christine, Christine!” Spike is about to make another run for it, but Liz tells her to just fucking talk to him already. Who knew that Liz would be the voice of reason? He tells her that they have to talk and he says that she can’t close herself off for the rest of her life. He goes on to say that he’s pretty nervous about losing her too and that they have to take a chance and not be a couple of pussies about it. Spike of course calms the fuck down and gives him a kiss on the cheek.
Finally Michelle is moving into her new place. BLT and Simon are taking her urine stained mattress up to her room. BLT dad’s seems to be from Africa or some shit like that, he definitely has an accent. He’s telling them to hurry the fuck up because he has to get to work.
Inside Michelle is telling Alexa about her dad being really pissed off about her pawning off her grandmother’s ring. But Michelle says that she doesn’t give a fuck and that it’s hers. She insists that she’s going to get a job and get it back. Yeah right. Michelle thanks them for helping out and Simon says that he has to leave because he has an audition. Alexa having no life of her own goes with him. You can tell BLT wants to totally bang Michelle in her room now that he’s alone, but his dad is honking the horn, telling them to move their asses. As she’s left alone she smiles and makes this spin of joy as she’s enjoying her new found freedom.
So glad I finally got through this one. But I forgot, I have part two to review next. Lord help me.