Pre-Credit Opener: Right away we can tell that someone is dreaming, because the camera has that haze effect. Who’s dreaming? None other than Arthur and his huge Lionel Richie mullet he’s sporting. He opens a door for the goddess Caitlin and she says, “Why Arthur, I didn’t realize you were such a gentleman.” Even in his dream he’s a lameo, he says, “It was nothing.” I love how she says that he’s handsome, now you know how delusional he is. He hands her a little rose and they move in like they’re going to kiss but his alarm goes off. Of course he wakes up all pissed off and he says, “I never get to the good part.”
At Degrassi we hear Claude talking to Caitlin about some bullshit article about a hole in the Ozone layer. Of course they’re making a big deal about it and they’re the only one’s who care. Arthur opens the door for her, but instead of being grateful she get’s pissed and says, “Arthur, in the future please let me open my own doors.”
In French class Arthur is just staring at Caitlin while the teacher gives an assignment out. Apparently they’re going to be partners for a paper they gotta do. Arthur of course is excited as hell. Caitlin seems to be pretty fluent in French. Arthur brings up how he went to France for the Summer but she could care less. They make plans to meet up on Friday to work on it. Just then Joey comes by and you can tell that she’s sick of his shit already. He asks her out on Friday and she’s all, “I guess.”
In the rest room the twins are talking to Spike about God knows what. In the back ground Liz is just looking at them with hatred in her eyes. I swear she hates everyone there except for Spike. Oh and now we know why. She says, “An abortion, that’s so horrible.” Then she wonders which one was the one that had it. Spike reminds her how she doesn’t have all the facts. But Liz won’t let this go, she cares way too much about it.
Kathleen and Melanie are talking about the fact that they don’t have boyfriends. Melanie brings up when Kathleen went with Arthur to the graduation dance. She admits that she asked him, how humiliating. Then she calls him a boy and insists since she’s in high school she should have someone. Diane then comes around and she was hazed. As they come to their lockers the black chick that hangs out with Dwayne is blocking the area with her other friends doing their hair. Of course Melanie and Kathleen get intimated by them and they leave.
Oh man, Alex and that Israeli looking dork are playing cards in the lunch room. Arthur meanwhile is eavesdropping on Caitlin and Claude. Can Claude be anymore boring of an individual? He’s talking about the environment and some other bullshit that no one gives two fucks about. But he sure is worming his way into Caitlin’s heart because she actually cares about all that nonsense. Even Joey is starting to notice. But does he do something about it? No. Snake and Wheels bring up how they need to practice on making the video. Joey tells them that they have to make some sacrifices if they want to make it big, but he of course is busy on the day that they wanna practice. They repeat to him what he just told them and he get’s pissed at them . He says that he has a date with Caitlin on Friday and that he can’t lose her. And let’s face it, she’s way too good for the likes of him.
Caitlin finally sits down to hang out with Maya the wheel chair girl and she’s all, “You’re sure spending a lot of time with that Cloud.” I swear, that’s how she says Claude. I gotta say. The chick who plays Maya is a terrible actress. It’s like she would say her unconvincing lines and then they would wheel her ass away. Anyways, Caitlin says that they’re just friends and they have a lot in common. Like the environment, movies. Caitlin insists that she doesn’t like him that way. While this is going on, Arthur is listening to them like a motherfucker and get’s disappointed when she mentions how she’s sort of still going out with Joey. But you can tell she doesn’t like him anymore and he smiles to himself. The scene ends with Arthur and Alex playing a card game. Thus confirming that they’re the two of the biggest fucking geeks in the school.
Kathleen comes along and this guy with a mustache tells her that she should sign up for the school play. So of course she does while smiling all brightly. She sounds really pathetic right here, she tells Melanie, “A guy talked to me!” She says that his name is Scott and loves the fact that he’s older than she is. They come to their locker and Dwayne’s cronies are right in front of them making out like crazy. They ask them to move but Cave boy tells them to fuck off. So of course they do. They should have punched him right in the back of the head, but that’s just me.
Arthur comes by and tries to talk to Yick but Yick says, “Go away I’m busy.” I love how he’s basically ditched Arthur’s square ass this year. Arthur mentions how he has a secret and he says, “There’s this girl I sort of like.” Yick’s all, “Caitlin.” He tries to deny it, but then says sort of. He says he wants to ask her out, but he doesn’t know how. Yick tells him to just ask her out and mentions how they’re in high school and people ask each other out all the time.
They walk into class and Arthur walks up to Caitlin. He pussy’s out of course and asks her when they’re going to work on their assignment. He walks back and Maya mentions how he has a crush on her. Caitlin says, “I hope not, he’s not exactly my type.” Poor Arthur, being nerdy, fat and having a moon face just won’t cut it for her. She prefers slim douche bags that dress like they’re going to be in Hamlet.
Back to Kathleen and Melanie. They’re seen discussing that guy Scott and Kathleen has this fantasy that they’ll be the leads in a production of Romeo and Juliet. Melanie brings her back to reality by saying that all the lead role’s go to seniors instead. Melanie always has to check Kathleen’s bullshit and I love it.
Uh oh, we have another dream sequence happening. They seem to be in a fancy part of the Degrassi High cafeteria. Alex and that other dork are their waiters. Caitlin and Arthur seem to be enjoying a nice glass of apple cider. Someone snaps their fingers and Alex brings out a tied up Joey Jeremiah in a chair and force him to watch them drinking their drinks. Joey goes crazy at the fact that they’re about to kiss. But of course Arthur doesn’t get close because this barking mutt wakes him up. Even in the dream world Arthur is a huge fucking loser. Of course he get’s pissed but then he smiles and I swear he looks down and turns on his side. Ew, I guess he’s jerking off.
Another day at Degrassi and Claude comes around and puts the moves on Caitlin again. He asks her if she knows about Jean Luc Goddard. Caitlin of course has no idea who the fuck that is and asks if he goes to Degrassi. He informs her that he’s a film director of a bunch of movies that no one in their right minds would want to see or heard of. But not these two. He totally asks her out on a date to see one of his movies. She breaks the date with Joey and says that she would love to go.
On the huge fucking ramp that they have in the school. Caitlin tells Maya that that Claude asked her out but that she has a date with Joey, but really wants to go with Claude. She mentions how she doesn’t really want to go with Joey. Maya says, “How would you feel if someone broke a date to go with someone else?” Maya points out how she’s lying and pussy footing about dropping Joey’s dumbass and then just leaves her. I think Maya could tell that Caitlin was really asking for ideas to dump Joey.
In the library Arthur is undressing Caitlin with his eyes while they’re working on their boring French assignment. The bell rings and Arthur chickened out in asking her out again. He mentions how they could finish the assignment that night at his house. Yeah fucking right. She quickly brushes him off. But then she get’s him involved in her bullshit. She tells him how she wants him to lie to Joey about having to work on the French assignment. Of course he wants to please her, he agree’s to it.
Man Caitlin is acting shady as fuck in this episode. She runs into Joey and breaks their date. Snake and Wheels are all happy about this because this means they can practice on their music video now. Joey leaves all disappointed, not knowing that Caitlin is now cheating on him.
Back to Kathleen and Melanie’s subplot. They both mention how they hate football and they run into Scott and his friends. He asks them if they want to go to the game. Kathleen says sure and Melanie leaves her alone with them so that they can get to know each other. As they’re going to go across the quad Kathleen says, “I’m not supposed to go through there.” Scott says, “Relax, you’re with us.” She smiles and goes off with them. I’m surprised he hasn’t noticed what a terrible, judgmental person she is.
After school Arthur finally goes for it and asks Caitlin out. She get’s this disgusted look on her face and says, “I can’t, some other time.” Stupid Arthur doesn’t get it and he says, “Ok sure when?” She keeps saying that she doesn’t know when she’ll be able to, but fucking Arthur is so dense he keeps insisting that they get it organized now. She finally tells him no because she doesn’t like him that way. What a big surprise there. Arthur is probably the most unfuckable guy on the planet. Then he get’s the salt in the wound. Claude comes around and gives her a flower and off she goes all happy with him.
I guess it’s the following Monday and Kathleen is filling Melanie in all about hanging out with Scott. They come across those three girls again and Kathleen goes into super bitch mode. She get’s this intense look of anger on her face and confronts them. She’s starts yelling at them and says, “Get out of there now!” “These are our lockers not yours!” She says this while she’s man handling Dwayne’s lackey. Kathleen get’s in her face shouting, “Get out of here, NOW!” They leave all terrified while everyone claps. Melanie asks her what the fuck that was all about. Kathleen’s all, “Not all the good roles go to seniors.” Then they laugh and hug it out.
Back to Arthur and Yick, it seems like he filled him in on getting shot down by Caitlin. Just then that Jezebel comes around calling for him. She mentions how they didn’t meet to finish the assignment, but he mentions that he finished it by himself. He just wrote, “Bonjour you cheese eating surrender monkeys!” I don’t blame him one bit for doing that. She says thank you and kisses him on the cheek. But not before banishing him into the friend zone. She says that he’s a real good friend. As she walks in Arthur is over hearing Caitlin telling Maya all about going out with Claude. The episode ends with him looking all sad while he hears her say, “I think I’m in love.”
I gotta say, you sort of feel sorry for Arthur a little in this one. But then again, we all knew he had no chance in hell of ever getting with Caitlin. But I liked this episode. For once Arthur wasn’t a complete immature dip shit. But Caitlin sure showed what a fickle person she is.