Ok I’ll just say right off the bat. This two part episode is one of my least favorite in the entire series. Why you might ask? Because Wheel’s acts like such a fucking prick in this one, it’s hard to sympathize with someone who’s a complete dick with everyone around them.
Pre-credit opener: Wheels walks in and announces that he’s home. His grandma asks him where he was and he says, “School of course.” But you can tell that she doesn’t believe him one bit. Then she says that he got some mail. It’s a post card from his real dad Mike. His grandma asks him how school went and he says fine. Then in a very whinny voice that is annoying as hell, she says, “Why do you lie to me?” Then she says how he keeps missing school, but shithead says that he doesn’t want to go to school anymore. She then mentions how his parents would want him to go to school still. He just can’t resist being a fucking asshole and says, “Why should they care?” “They’re dead.” See what I mean? I’m already annoyed and want to beat the shit out of him. He starts reading the post card from Mike and we hear Mikes voice in a voice over. He says he’s playing a gig in some shit hole place called Port Hope. Where ever the fuck that is.
In class Mr Garcia is boring everyone to death, as the bell rings he starts talking about how their photos from photo day have finally come in. Apparently the next day is the Gourmet Scum concert. Everyone is in high spirits for it. Especially Spike and Liz. Amy and Allison can’t contain their disgust because they’re a couple of stuck up bitches. Mr Garcia then asks Snake to hand Wheels his pictures and then asks him to tell Wheels to get his ass to school because he has to.
Melanie is showing Diane her picture with her mouth full of metal and is not too please with it. She says she wants to burn it, but of course that would mean her mom would have to pay for the pics and we all know how “Mega” poor they are. Tracy Morgan and Joey come by and Tracy is also not happy with his pictures and holy shit. He has the most effeminate voice ever! Joey then sees Luke and Shane and asks them since they’re all going to the concert that they should all sit together.
Caitlin comes by and drags Joey away. Luke and Shane start talking about taking acid. Apparently Luke is a big fucking druggy loser. He talks all about the ecstasy’s of getting fucked up on them. Shane can’t wait to try them. After school Joey’s still weaseling his way into getting Caitlin to help him with his school work. As Joey’s checking out Caitlin’s ass as she’s walking away, Snake points out that Joey’s all in love with her now. Snake and Joey then decide to head on over to Wheel’s to give him his shit.
Of course he’s at the arcade playing The Main Event. A classic wrestling arcade game. He loses and puts more money in to continue. Joey asks him where he has money to play the game all the time. Fucking Wheels informs them that he sold his bass. Joey can’t believe what he’s hearing. He says, “What about our band?” Wheels then says that the Zits are a fucking joke and that he doesn’t want to go to school anymore. Snake sensing that there’s a fight a brewing suggests that they get some fries after Wheels finishes his game.
As they’re eating fries Wheels is just destroying his annoying grandma. I guess she’s as much a pain in the ass as he is. He then mentions the fact that they’re older than the dirt that they sleep in. He says if they bug him one more time he’s leaving. Snake saying what we’re all thinking says, “Yeah right.” But Wheels says that he’s dead serious and going to Port Hope. I guess it had a birthday message on the back and Snake points out how his birthday isn’t for another month. Wheels defends his loser dad by saying, “He can’t remember everything.” Wheels then tells them his delusions of grandeur by saying how awesome it would be to travel the world and be able to play with his dad’s shitty band, rocking out every cafeteria they play. I love how Wheels has all these grand plans just from a simple post card from his hardly ever there dad.
It’s finally the night of the concert and it seems like all the Degrassi kids are there. Now that I see the picture of the band, they seem more like a punk band than anything. Anyways, Luke meanwhile is buying some acid from some scumbag. Shane asks Luke how one should take acid and Luke tells him that you eat the piece of paper. Shane finds this hilarious and Luke get’s all pissed off and says, “If you can’t eat paper, maybe you’re not ready for acid.” I gotta say, what a horrible line that was. Anyways Tracy Morgan starts sounding like a fucking PSA and tells them the dangers of getting fucked up on it. Luke says that he’s done it before and he and Shane take the acid. All the dudes come and off they go to see the Gourmet Scum.
At Wheels place he and his Mummy of a grandpa are watching some wrestling on TV. I guess his Grandpa is a Hulkamaniac. His grandma walks in and says that she got some KFC for dinner, but Wheels says that he had fries already. She comes back from the kitchen bitching to him about not doing the dishes. Once again he acts like a dick and she mentions how everyone is concerned with him. She tells him that if he doesn’t start going to school he’ll end up in a group home. Of course being an asshole he takes it as a threat and says that that’s what they want, to get rid of his annoying ass. His Grandma denies it but he goes into his room pissed off. He calls her an old bag and starts packing his back pack and he decides to run away.
The next morning Wheels calls up Joey waking him up from the mother of all concerts the night before. He says that he needs to borrow some money and he needs it that day. At the arcade Snake and Joey are talking about how awesome the show was. Wheels tells them that he’s running away and he makes them promise not to tell anyone. They give him some money and Wheels very greedily takes it. Wheels then says that his grandparents want to put him in a group home. He says that Port Hope is only a few miles away and he’s going to hitchhike to get there. Snake tells him what a stupid idea that is, but Wheels doesn’t give a shit.
Wheels is acting like he’s going on a merry adventure to fucking Mount Doom. He get’s picked up by some dude and off he goes to Port Hope. At Joey’s house Joeys hot mom is talking to Shane’s mom. Apparently Shane never made it home from the concert. Joey tells Shane’s mom Thelma Harper that he was at the concert, but then left with Luke.
Oh man, we then get a very cheesy montage in tune with Everybody Wants Something. Wheels is hitchhiking like a mother fucker and walking to Port Hope too. At one point he starts playing an air bass guitar and he looks like the biggest fucking idiot ever! He get’s out of a car and it seems like Port Hope is only 28 miles away. Or is it kilometers? We then hear his dad Mike reading the message he wrote to Wheels telling him how he’s going to be at Port Hope for only two weeks. This older guy picks him up in what looks like the Truckster from Vacation.
We then cut to the fuzz coming up to Luke’s house and they ask him if he was at the concert with Shane. He shakes his head yes. The Mountie then asks him if he’s seen him and he says after they left the concert they split up. The Mountie then asks him if they did any drugs and right away he says, “He doesn’t do that stuff, I don’t know anyone who does that stuff.” But you can tell that Luke is full of shit. The officer knows he’s lying his ass off and Luke looks nervous as hell.
Back to Wheels the dude that picked him up is asking him all sorts of questions. Wheels tells him that he’s old enough to take care of himself and that he’s been around. The dude says, “That so?” And get’s a creepy look on his face. He then asks him if he has a girlfriend and Wheels tells him no. You can tell this guy is probing Wheels for some info. Continuing with his twenty questions the guy says, “Not interested in girls eh.” Wheels doesn’t help matters by saying that girls are ok. He basically just made himself sound gay.
The old guy then asks Wheels if he’s ever missed around with a girl and Wheels sounding like a shy kid laughs and says, “NO!” After some small talk the guy says that he has to make a short detour and goes off the main road into this small dirt road. It seems like he’s taking Wheel’s to Leatherface’s lair. He then says that it sounds like the car is messed up and he pulls over, stopping it.
Ok, here’s another one of the most creepiest moments in Degrassi history!! So brace yourself bitches. Wheels asks him if he’s going to go out to check on the car, but then the old perv says, “You know Wheels you’re a good looking young man.” He unbuckles his seat belt and slides on over to Wheels seat, feeling up his leg. Probably Wheel’s junk too I wouldn’t doubt. Wheel’s is all, “What are you doing?!” The guy sounding like Mr Colby tells him to relax. This guy is probably related to Colby in some way. Wheels get’s out of the car, grabs a rock and tells the old perv to get the fuck away from him. The guy throws Wheel’s shit out and peels out. That was pretty convenient of him to do that. But Wheels is now stranded in the middle of nowhere.
Of course it says To Be Continued and the episode ends with Mike’s voice telling Wheels about his stupid lousy gig at Port Hope. Will he make it there? Because it seems like Wheels is walking towards Leatherface’s house. But I guess we’ll find out in the next episode.