Degrassi Junior High Reviewed

Degrassi Junior High Reviewed is a blog about the sometimes cheesy, a lot of times badly acted, but beloved Canadian 80's tv series. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who just loves Canadian melodrama. New reviews every week, on Mondays and Thursday's.

Season 3, Episode 9, “Food For Thought”

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Uh oh, we get another Kathleencentric episode in this one. Let’s see what fucked up issue she deals with now.

Pre-credit opener: We see Kathleen cutting into her dinner plate like there’s no tomorrow. For once her dad is there, but he’s on the phone and it seems like he’s talking to someone about leaving on another business trip. Her mom is helping herself to yet another giant glass of scotch. She slurs, “How long are you with us this time?” He says that travel is part of the job. She starts going on a drunken rant about him not being around. Kathleen asks to be excused. Her dad points out how she barely ate a thing but she says that she has to work on a project for the science fair. As she leaves she listens to her parents arguing like a couple of assholes. She goes into her bath room, looks herself in the mirror and disgustingly says, “You’re so fat!” But she’s skinnier than a motherfucker to begin with.

kathleen

The next day at school Kathleen seems to be  on speed or something because she walking like there’s no tomorrow. Ms Avery asks her what she’s on. Kathleen then asks to use the resource center to work on her stupid project. Inside we see Alexa and Simon and she asks him if she’s too fat. That is always a fucking trap and there’s no right answer. She then asks if she should lose about 5 pounds. Simon being stupid says maybe. So of course she get’s all offended and she begs him for a week to lose some weight. Simon has no idea what he’s done and leaves scared as hell.

alexa

Melanie and Caitlin come up and Melanie is complaining about what a pain in the ass it is to work with Kathleen. Big surprise there. She’s a shit head. Being nosy she wants to read what Kathleen is writing in a diary that she always has with her. Even though this is the first it’s ever been mentioned ever. Kathleen of course is a perfectionist and tells Melanie to get going on their project.

In class Alexa is telling the twins about wanting to lose weight for Simon. Heather starts preaching about doing crash diets and she ends up sounding like a PSA because their project is on eating disorders. Alexa being stupid says that she wishes that she had anorexia, for at least just one week.

Back in the library it seems like Melanie has finished whatever stats she was writing on a piece of paper on a board. Melanie then mentions that she’s starving and asks Kathleen if she wants to get lunch, Kathleen says that she’s too busy. Melanie then points out how she never see’s her eating a thing. But of course Kathleen needs to be a bitch and tells her to mind her own business. Then she checks it out what Melanie did, she points how incinerator is spelled wrong. Melanie’s like, “Big deal, I have whiteout.” But Kathleen being an asshole panics and rolls the fucking piece paper and tells Melanie to start over. Melanie storms off and Kathleen makes a what is wrong with her face.

melanie

I guess it’s lunch time and Melanie is going off about Kathleen to Caitlin. She says she understands how her home life sucks, having a horrible alcoholic mom and all, but that it doesn’t excuse her to be a fucking cunt. Caitlin calls her the Wicked Witch of Degrassi.

Alexa comes running to the twins and very excited tells them that she could lose five pounds easy if stopped drinking water. But this would also probably kill her. Heather once again starts sounding all preachy and gives her some other facts. Then she just says that her lazy ass should just work out instead. Heather then says that Lucy probably has an eating disorder because she’s so skinny and didn’t see her eat.

twins alexa

Oh noes. We come to Scooter and Bart and Scooter points out that their lab rats or whatever the fuck they are, that one is skinny and the other fat. I guess their project involves a diet or something like that. Anyways who cares. Fat Nancy comes by and asks Kathleen if she finished a report for the student council. Putting more pressure on Kathleen. Melanie forces Kathleen to go to their house to work on their project after school. Once again she gives the excuse that her mom isn’t feeling well.

After school Simon and Alexa are having a discussion about her being fat. Even though Simon didn’t say shit. Heather is continuing her analysis of Lucy and how she’s anorexic. Erica points out how full of shit she is.

At Kathleen’s house her mom is already drunk off her ass and offers the girls some milk and cookies. I have no idea how she didn’t drop everything on her way from the kitchen. Kathleen tells her to fuck off because she’s hella embarrassing. She then points out what a boring fucking square her daughter is. Melanie’s staring at her mom as she leaves and Kathleen says, “What are you staring at?” Then she starts binge eating on the fucking cookies like she hasn’t eaten in days. At least until Melanie says, “I told you that you should have eaten lunch.” She makes a face and runs upstairs, then we see her jam two fingers in her mouth and she starts throwing up like Linda Blair in The Exorcist. It’s a shot and sound effect that we didn’t need to see and hear.

drunk mom
kathleen throwing up

While she’s gone Melanie starts looking through Kathleen’s journal and it’s like that scene in the Shining where Shelly Duvall realizes how insane Jack Nicholson’s character was. But in this case what a health freak Kathleen really is. We then see her looking in the mirror again and she makes this ugly badger face and has hatred in her eyes for herself and once again says, “You’re so fat!!” Actually I think that’s the same take from the beginning of the episode.

kathleen fat

The next day I guess it’s the day of the science fair because everyone is bringing in their stupid projects. Alexa says that she wants to try diet pills but Heather points out how they don’t really work. Then she starts going off on another eating disorder. So yeah, Heather is really annoying in this episode. Kathleen comes by like a bat out of hell.

At their lockers Melanie is telling Caitlin all about how fucked up Kathleen really is and how she must be starving most of the day. Caitlin then says, “Well at least that explains why she’s so bitchy all the time.” I had to do a double take and I said to myself, “Did she just say that?” She sure did! Caitlin, you’re such a rebel, you actually cussed on this show!

caitlin

In the girls laboratory Melanie asks Kathleen that if she ever wants to talk about anything she’s there for her. Kathleen of course just can’t help being an asshole and just blows her off. Then she drops some laxatives in the sink and Melanie points out how she hasn’t eaten anything so how is she going to take those. I’m guessing Kathleen is having a lot of nasty diarrhea through out the day. Anyways, she grabs them out of Melanie’s hand and storms off all pissed off.

kathleen melanie

We continue with Bart and Scooter’s stupid ass story line about their project, I’m so not interested that I don’t even know what point they’re trying to make about the diet thing they’re talking about. We see Melanie making the rounds and she reads the twins project on eating disorders, mainly bulimia. She quickly see’s all of the symptoms that Kathleen has. Fat Nancy again is being a pest about the fucking student council report. Melanie asks Kathleen if she wants to look at the other projects but Kathleen is so manic she doesn’t want to even bother to look at them. Saying that their’s is better anyways. She refuses to eat lunch again as well.

fat nancy

Man what is this plot C that we’re with with Alexa and her weight loss? I think it is. She’s bitching to the twins how she doesn’t want to lose Simon and she has to lose weight. Lucy over hears and just has to put in her two cents and says, ” Losing weight for a guy?” “That’s pretty dumb.” Then says that if he only cares about appearances than he’s not worth it. See, there you go, some sage advice from one Lucy Fernandez.

lucy

Yick and Arthur are showing off their project. They’re saying that they built a robot from spare parts, but what a bunch of bullshit. You can tell that it’s just a robot toy they used. I would give them an F for wasting my time.

Finally Kathleen and Melanie’s project is being judged by none other than DJ Rompin Raditch. Kathleen is going a mile a minute. Throwing all sorts of facts at him. Melanie is trying to talk but Kathleen won’t let her get a word in. Even Raditch notices how insane she is. Kathleen is extremely confident about their chance of winning, but then panics because he didn’t tell him about the Ozone layer. She says, “I have to win!” Melanie tells her to calm her skinny ass down, but she goes running off and tells Raditch about the Ozone. Then we see a cool shot of a volcano erupting.

raditch

Bart and Scooter are going on and on about their diet project and Ms Avery points out that their rat is fat because she’s pregnant. Any moron would have noticed right away. Please let us be done with this lame plot already!! Let me just say something that I thought I would never say. These two are actually worse than Arthur and Yick’s stupid juvenile bullshit.

Melanie asks Kathleen if she saw the twins project but Kathleen says that she’s not interested in anyone’s project. Melanie then asks her how she hasn’t been eating and Melanie admits that she read her diary. Kathleen loses her shit and denies having a problem. She sure sounds like her lousy drunk of a mom here. Then of course she tells Melanie that she hates her.

kathleen hate filled

So I guess the Science fair is over with and Mr Raditch is giving away the prizes. Yick and Arthur win third place with their robot that did nothing. Second place goes to some chick named Vicky and the Asian grandma. First prize then goes to Heather and Erica and their eating disorder project. I gotta say, I love the look of disappointment on Kathleen’s face. Eat it bitch!

twins victory

She runs off crying and is blaming herself for not mentioning the ozone. Melanie points out that they got an honorable mention. But of course at this point Kathleen is completely out of her fucking mind. She keeps saying how she wanted her parents to be proud of her and that they should have won. She starts to walk off and then she faints. Much like her mom she’s just passed out at a very randomly place, like the Degrassi Junior High hallway. Melanie tells Ms Avery that Kathleen hasn’t eaten shit in days.

kathleen faint

Abruptly it’s another school day and Alexa starts telling Simon that she’s not going to lose weight for him. He says that he likes her for who she is. Then Simon being confused of course says that he never said a thing about her being fat. Then she says, “Simon make up your mind!” He asks her if they can go out again and then they just make up. That’s what happens when two dumb people get together I guess.

simon alexa

In the hall way we see Ms Avery telling Kathleen that she wants her to see the nurse and she tells her that she’s expected, so she better go. Kathleen then goes off on Melanie, calling her a traitor and why she had to tell Ms Avery for. Melanie said that she was scared and didn’t know what to do. Kathleen then says, “You’re just jealous because I have will power and I can stay on a diet!” Melanie apologies for looking in her diary and says that she’s worried about her and that she should get help. But of course Kathleen just like her mom refuses to accept that she does have a problem. The show ends with Kathleen giving Melanie a vicious hate filled stare down.

kathleen end

This episode was alright. Kathleen being mega bitch was getting on my nerves big time though. I say Kathleen did Melanie a favor because let’s face it, Kathleen is a terrible person and friend.

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Author: Degrassi Guy

Hi there and welcome to my little corner of the Degrassi Universe in the far side of interwebs. For all ten of you who are reading this, welcome! Degrassi Junior High/High was a show produced in Canada that showed the trials and tribulations of every day students. This show tackled everything and I mean everything. From alcoholism, depression, pedophiles, bullies, eating disorders, hitchhiking, death of parents, adoption, teen pregnancy, hiding other products to get condoms so no one will notice. To pornography, suicide, getting the smack down from your mustached boyfriend and getting the guts to get away from him. If I missed anything, trust me. Degrassi didn't. Degrassi was pretty much as real as it got. Especially back when I first started seeing it. Saved by the Bell it was not. You never saw Zack Morris smoking weed, getting Kelly Kapowski pregnant or AC Slater giving Jessie a good beating when she sassed him. So sit back and get ready to reacquaint yourself with the beginning of the Degrassi Universe. For those of you who are new, you don't know what you're in for. But that's a good thing. This is Degrassi Junior High/High seen through my eyes. Basically what I loved and hated. Some of you may disagree with what I think, but that's ok. Mostly though, after all these years later. I still love this cheesy show.

Well what are you waiting for? What did you think?

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