Degrassi Junior High Reviewed

Degrassi Junior High Reviewed is a blog about the sometimes cheesy, a lot of times badly acted, but beloved Canadian 80's tv series. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who just loves Canadian melodrama. New reviews every week, on Mondays and Thursday's.

Season 3, Episode 8, “Star-Crossed”

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The twins are once again featured in this episode. I can tell already that they’re going to annoy me big time!

Pre-credit opener: We hear Heather’s mom yelling at her to remind Erica that she has to go to the dentist on Saturday, but Heather should go with her fucked up teeth. Meanwhile Erica is going on about the stupid horoscopes. She makes it clear that she’s a big believe on that bullshit. Apparently something major is supposed to happen in her life. What can it be? And do we really give a fuck?

twins 1

Outside Degrassi Junior High we hear Paul and Clutch talking about how he’s going to get some mega bass and thump his way around town. Lucy and the twins come walking along and Paul jumps out saying, “Lucy, we gotta talk.” Lucy tells him, “I don’t wanna see you anymore, can’t you get that through your greasy hair?” Lucy says that she can’t fanthom why she even went out with that nerd. But Erica says that she wouldn’t mind giving Clutch a piece. Meanwhile Clutch can’t stop looking at Lucy. Paul comes back all disappointed, Clutch asks him if he’s going out with her still, of course he says no and Clutch get’s this huge shit eating grin on his face.

paul clutch

Looks like Wheels is back at school again and Joey and Snake ask him if he wants to be on their bowling team. But Wheels being the barrel of fun that he is now says that he doesn’t want to. Apparently they’re having a bowl-athon to help some poor foster kids. After some convincing Wheels says sure. Snake point out how it’s taking Wheels forever to get over his parents dying. Erica and Heather come out of the school and Erica seems to be bitching at Heather, apparently she wants to know Clutch’s birth sign to see if they’re compatible. What a dumb ass.

Alexa comes running toward BLT and asks him if he wants to go see some romantic movie but BLT wants to bowl for the poor kids instead. Alexa of course get’s pissed because she’s someone who always wants everything her way.

alexa BLT

At Borden High Lucy and LD run into Paul and Clutch and fucking Clutch comes up and compliments Lucy on her ugly jacket. Paul get’s pissed at him and asks him what the fuck he thinks he’s doing. But Clutch doesn’t care, he wants Lucy now. Paul should have given him a good beating right there, but he’s 100% pussy. Erica is still bothering Heather about the stupid horoscope thing so she sends her to ask this mohawked haired girl named Faith. Heather embarrassed as hell asks her what Clutch’s sign is. Faith says that he’s a Virgo. Faith of course assumes that Heather is into Clutch.

lucy LD

Oh God, Erica is now all distressed because their stupid signs aren’t compatible or some shit like that. At this point I don’t even care anymore. Clutch meanwhile comes by in the Clutchmobile. He ask for Heather and tells her that he heard that he was asking about him. She of course denies it, but he still asks her out for the bowlathon. Heather tells him that she can’t and tells Erica all about it. Erica being annoying as hell get’s pissed at her and bitches her out. She makes an angry badger face and calls her a witch. Then she goes on to say, “I’m the one who’s supposed to be falling in love.” Heather points out how she didn’t even want to go out with that asshole. Erica then says, “Oh so you’re too good to go out with someone I like.” Which is really fucking stupid. Heather comes up with the brilliant idea of pulling the old switcharoo.

erica

Alexa comes by Simon and tells him that her mom made some Greek meal that sounds really fucking disgusting, but she says it’s his favorite and wants to know if he wants to come over. He tells her no and she get’s this sad face, like she can’t believe that he would deny her.

alexa

The next day at Borden Erica’s still going over the stupid horoscope and they see Clutch coming by. Erica asks him if he still wants to go bowling. He says sure and asks if Lucy is going to be there. She’s so dumb that she doesn’t even pick up on that little hint. They brag to Lucy and LD about their little plan. Lucy says that it’s unfair to clutch. Erica being an asshole says, “No, it’ll be fun.”

As the Degrassi students are going back to their school the same assholes who have been talking shit to everyone since the beginning start picking on Snake and Wheels. This black dude starts poking at Wheels and Wheels tells him to keep his hands off of him. The black dude makes the fatal mistake of saying, “What are you going to do?” “Go home and cry?” To mommy and daddy?” Wheels loses his shit and fucking tackles the motherfucker like he’s Lawrence Taylor. They go flying into this book supply room. The fight lasts about 15 seconds before a teacher breaks it up and sends them both to the office.

wheels

I’m guessing it’s Saturday now and the twins are discussing the date. I don’t know why Erica didn’t just come clean to Clutch to begin with. That way we would all be spared from these hi jinx. They make their way to the bowling alley and Ms Avery and Mr Garcia are there selling tickets. Ms Avery telling Erica that she can’t fool her anymore with the name change.

Joey, Snake, BLT and Shane are bowling and talking about how much deep shit Wheel’s is in. Snake saying that he can be in a lot of trouble because he was in Mr Lawrence’s office with his old bag of a grandma and his social worker. Erica comes by with Clutch and he’s already making goo goo eyes toward’s Lucy. As she goes to bowl Lucy and Clutch start talking. Erica bowls like shit and as she turns around she notices them talking like they’re the one’s on the date.

clutch lucy

Michelle goes to buy some cokes and Alexa comes by and tells her that she wants Simon back. Michelle tells her that he doesn’t belong to anyone and that they’re just friends. Alexa then wonders why Simon doesn’t talk to her anymore and Michelle points out what a shit head Alexa is and how she treated him horribly.  You can tell it never occurred to her to actually say that she’s sorry. Then she apologizes to Michelle. I guess she forgave her for stealing BLT away from her.

alexa pissed

Meanwhile Heather comes dressed like fucking Pugsley Adams again and they go on with their stupid switching thing. Erica tells Clutch that she’ll be back in a bit, but he’s so into Lucy that he just ignores her. Even LD notices. Finally Erica is picking up on the both of them flirting too. Get a clue. Alexa comes up to Simon and tells him that she owes him an apology. But Simon is such a brain dead idiot he asks her, “For what?” And she tells him for being stupid. He just gives her a goofy smile and it seems like they’ve patched everything up.

simon alexa

In the rest room the twins have finally switched their clothes and Erica is on her way to the dentist. Heather comes by and tells Clutch, “I’m back.” Clutch is all, “Right.” He couldn’t possibly give a shit if she was there or not. BLT comes up to Michelle and asks if he can have a seat next to her. Michelle is so fucking awkward that she can’t even look at him. BLT being a smooth motherfucker though asks her when she’s leaving and if he can walk her home. She says all meekly, “Sure.”

twins bathroom
blt michelle

LD is noticing for sure that Lucy and Clutch have a thing for each other now. Stupid Erica comes back all smiling and it’s pretty obvious to all what’s going on. Heather very reluctantly tells Erica that Clutch is into Lucy, even LD points it out to her and she seems to have no interest in boys whatsoever. Erica is so devastated that she storms off.

ld

She’s sitting outside of the bowling alley in Heather’s terrible outfit and Heather tries to console her. Oh God!! She starts talking about the goddamn horoscopes again. I’m so glad that Alexa and Simon come out and they tell them that they’re back together and she asks them if they want to come over to have some of that terrible Greek sounding dish she keeps going on about. Erica says in a bit.” The episode ends with Alexa saying, “I just love happy endings.” “Don’t you?” She’s so dopey. Meanwhile Erica is all heartbroken.

end credits

I gotta say, this was a really annoying episode and I didn’t really like it that much. The Astrology bullshit practically killed it. But I knew I called the twins the annoying twins for a reason.

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Author: Degrassi Guy

Hi there and welcome to my little corner of the Degrassi Universe in the far side of interwebs. For all ten of you who are reading this, welcome! Degrassi Junior High/High was a show produced in Canada that showed the trials and tribulations of every day students. This show tackled everything and I mean everything. From alcoholism, depression, pedophiles, bullies, eating disorders, hitchhiking, death of parents, adoption, teen pregnancy, hiding other products to get condoms so no one will notice. To pornography, suicide, getting the smack down from your mustached boyfriend and getting the guts to get away from him. If I missed anything, trust me. Degrassi didn't. Degrassi was pretty much as real as it got. Especially back when I first started seeing it. Saved by the Bell it was not. You never saw Zack Morris smoking weed, getting Kelly Kapowski pregnant or AC Slater giving Jessie a good beating when she sassed him. So sit back and get ready to reacquaint yourself with the beginning of the Degrassi Universe. For those of you who are new, you don't know what you're in for. But that's a good thing. This is Degrassi Junior High/High seen through my eyes. Basically what I loved and hated. Some of you may disagree with what I think, but that's ok. Mostly though, after all these years later. I still love this cheesy show.

Well what are you waiting for? What did you think?

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