Degrassi Junior High Reviewed

Degrassi Junior High Reviewed is a blog about the sometimes cheesy, a lot of times badly acted, but beloved Canadian 80's tv series. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who just loves Canadian melodrama. New reviews every week, on Mondays and Thursday's.

Season 3, Episode 5, “Loves Me, Loves Me Not”

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Pre-credit opener: Apparently Joey is now peddling tapes of the Zit Remedy’s hit song Everybody Wants Something for only $2.00 each. He already seems like a slimy used car sales man. It seems like Caitlin has a thing for Joey now and she very excitedly buys a copy of their song. They both smile at each other and we hear Snake saying, “With an extended version of Everybody Wants Something.” I’m like extended? The song is only about under a minute long.

caitlin joey

In class Mr Raditch is handing out class assignments, seems like Joey got a terrible grade, even though dumbass has been in the class for two years in a row now. Raditch then assigns an assignment about doing a film review, everyone get’s excited. Class is dismissed and the girls start talking about how much fun the assignment’s going to be, everyone except Caitlin. She’s too busy jamming to the Zit Remedy. Melanie comes around and tells them not to watch a movie called Teen Academy 4, she says that it’s really sexiest. Diane points out how Caitlin has been staring at Joey the whole time they were in class. Melanie saying, “You’ve got a crush on him a mile wide.” They urge Caitlin to ask Joey out to the dance.


In the cafeteria Snake is trying to get Wheels to go to the dance but he says that he can’t. Seems like his two centuries old grandparents are going to be moving in with him. His grandpa half of the time since he’s nearly dead himself. Joey tells the dudes that he got a C in English, even saying that he’s still getting terrible marks despite taking the class again. Wheels suggests Joey should get some help. Snake recommends Caitlin but Joey calls her a Narbo. What an idiot. Meanwhile Melanie tells Caitlin that Joey’s looking at her. Caitlin get’s instantly nervous and has no idea what to do. Saying, “What do I do?” Melanie calls after Joey, embarrassing Caitlin big time!

caitlin embarrassed

Oh man, we see Dorthy eating God knows what and she’s staring at Yick like she’s deranged. Arthur meanwhile is going on about a trust account. This whole angle of Arthur being rich is getting annoying fast. Yick can’t stand it and asks Arthur what the hell is wrong with Dorthy staring at him. Arthur says something that sounds like, “She sleeps with pet rats.” Or something like that, I can never make it out. Anyways, she’s weird. Yick once again points out how much they look alike.


We see Alexa and Michelle talking about the dance and Alexa says, “I’m really looking forward to Friday.” “I’m going to ask out every cute guy there.” Michelle says that Simon get’s pissed whenever she does that, but Alexa says that she doesn’t care and adds that Simon is boring. Who can blame her, He’s practically brain dead, so I can’t imagine he has anything of substance to say to anyone. Anyways Alexa is saying that she wants to split up. Meanwhile Michelle can’t stop staring at BLT. Alexa points out how Michelle has jungle fever and she has it bad. Once again Michelle says that she can’t talk to him because she’s shyer than a motherfucker. Alexa offers to coach her, saying that she knows all about boys.

michelle alexa

Joey asks Caitlin if he can talk to her and she get’s all excited. She even says how much she likes his lousy tape. He then asks her if he can be her partner for the film review assignment. But he’s only doing it so he can get a good grade. Caitlin doesn’t give a shit about what movie they’re going to watch so Joey of course picks Teen Academy 4. So they make a date to watch the movie after school.

Lucy passes by and some girls are basically talking about how she does it. Hmm. Anyways, Joey comes up to Liz and starts hitting on her again. He asks her out to the dance on Friday, he asks her if they can try again since he’s not a sex crazed maniac like last year. She hesitantly agrees.

After school Dorthy tries to talk to Arthur and he says, “Go away!” “I told you, you’re bad for my image.” She should have said, “What, being a lame fucking nerd?” But instead she asks him if Yick likes her. He says no way and tells her to fuck off. Caitlin and her crew come out and they’re discussing whether they’re going out on a date or not. Diane says that he’s not her type because she’s actually smart and Joey is the biggest idiot at the school. But Caitlin is totally willing to over look all of those facts. So yeah, it’s love!

joey caitlin

They finally come out of the theater and the poster for the movie looks like the silliest, cheapest movie ever! Caitlin says that she didn’t really like the movie while Joey enjoyed it. Big surprise there. Joey suggests giving it a bad review since she hated it and she’s really smart. But she says that Joey’s people smart. After all that Caitlin says that she has to go because her parents want her in before the sun set’s I guess and Joey offers to walk her home. As they’re getting to her house Joey asks her if she’s going to the dance and she says yeah. Then he says, “Hey I’ll dance with you.” Caitlin can’t believe her ears, she’s so happy. As soon as he leaves she starts listening to their song again.

teen academy iv

So the next school day Yick’s walking along and fucking Dorthy ambushes him and starts shooting him with a water gun. She laughs and runs away. Yick calling her a fucking Narbo. In class Caitlin’s telling the girls all about the “date”. She mentions how he bought her pop corn and walked her home. The girls saying that these are all good signs. Then she says that he asked her to the dance. But he really didn’t. He just said he would dance with her. He comes along and all the girls are just gawking at him.

Mr Garcia dismisses his class and Alexa asks BLT if he wants to go eat lunch at a park with Michelle, Simon and her. He says sure. We then see Joey and Caitlin going over writing their review. Joey knowing that he’s a dumbass suggests that Caitlin should write her opinion since she’s way smarter than he is. She suggests that they both give their opinions. Just like Siskel and Ebert. Joey loves this idea.

BLT simon

In the park in front of the De Grassi Grocery store Alexa asks if anyone’s seen any good movies lately. BLT says that he just loved Teen Academy 4. Alexa agrees. Simon tries to give an opinion but he can’t articulate himself so Alex tells him to shut the fuck up and just eat his sandwich. Michelle says that she didn’t really like it. But both BLT and Alexa are laughing over how funny the movie was. But the things that they’re describing, it sounds like the stupidest movie ever. They finally start walking back to school and BLT and Alexa are talking about how excited they are for Teen Academy 5. Michelle and Simon both look at each other making what the fuck faces.


In Mr Raditch’s class Joey and Caitlin are doing their review. Caitlin pointing out what a stupid fucking movie it was. Joey says that he loved the movie because it was just so goddamn hilarious. He gives it 3 thumbs up. Caitlin says it was stupid as hell and gives it 3 thumbs down. It proves to be a big hit and everyone loves it, including Raditch. He gave them an A and Joey is ecstatic. Joey can’t contain his joy and he says that Caitlin is smart, beautiful, perfect. Joey wants to work with her all the time now. She says, “I’ll see you at the dance.” She’s looking at him with dreamy eyes.

caitlin joey assignment

Mr Garcia’s class is finally dismissed again and Michelle asks Alexa if she’s waiting for BLT. She says yes and then says that he and Michelle aren’t suited for each other. Even pointing out how she can’t even talk to him. Michelle says, “You knew I liked him.” But Alexa being a shithead says, “Don’t take it so seriously.” “Boys are like buses, if you miss one, another one will come along in a few minutes.” Then cheerfully says, “See you at the dance.” Michelle saying that she’s not going. Outside the school Simon’s waiting for Michelle and offers to walk her home. As they’re walking away he starts saying that he has an idea on how to make it even better. I’m surprised he has an idea in the pea sized brain of his.

simon michelle

Caitlin’s getting ready for the big dance and she puts in Joey’s tape in her little radio. The cassette case has the funniest picture of them on it. She’s trying all sorts of combinations of necklaces, dresses and hair styles to make herself hot for Joey. I don’t know what she see’s in him.

zits tape

It’s finally the big dance. Snake and Luke pass by Lucy and Snake says hi. Luke saying, “I hear she sleeps around.” Goddamn that big fore headed freak Paul. Now Lucy has the reputation of being class slut. As they pass by we see Alexa feeling up BLT’s muscles. He says that he works out just about every day. Simon and Michelle come with their arms around each other. Michelle tells Alexa, “Waiting for a bus?” They go into the gym to dance and smile back at her. Alexa obviously get’s jealous and demands that BLT go and dance with her, but he doesn’t want to. She’s so demanding she drags his ass out to the dance floor. BLT probably said later on, “I’ve made a huge mistake.”

alexa pissed

Caitlin comes along looking pretty good. Ok back then when I was watching this show around 93 I seriously starting to get a crush on Caitlin. So I was all, wow at this scene. Melanie and them start saying how good she looks. Caitlin saying, “I WANT HIM TO LIKE ME!” Joey comes along in his tuxedo shirt again because he can’t help being the corniest motherfucker around. He asks Caitlin if she’s seen Liz. She says she’s already in the gym and Joey says, “Dynamite.”  and starts walking away. Caitlin then says, “I thought we were going to dance.” Joey being stupid says, “Sure, later ok.” Then goes off with Liz. Caitlin is completely humiliated, especially after he hear’s Joey telling Liz how beautiful she is. But he must have been high off of his New Zealand Zappers because Caitlin is about 10 times better looking than Liz. Anyways after that humiliations galore, Caitlin just leaves. Diane seems to want to say something to her but some girl with crazy red hair motions to her no.

caitlin rejected

Back in her room Caitlin is fuming. Probably realizing what the fuck she saw in an idiot like Joey Jeremiah. She’s so pissed off in fact that she grabs his tape and throws it in the trash where it belongs. She wipes off her make up, trying very hard not to cry.

caitlin pissed

I guess it’s Monday morning and once again Dorthy sprays Yick. Arthur tells him that he thinks that she likes him. Yick saying, “Oh hell naw!” Joey comes along and starts bothering Caitlin, he even calls her buddy. So yeah, when your crush calls you buddy, or pal, or even my friend, it basically means that you’re in the friend zone and there’s no escape. Joey notices how cold she is towards him now, but still tries to get her to help him with his math. He asks her, “What is it, what did I do?” “I thought you liked me?” Caitlin turns around the episode just ends right there. I hate it when they do that to us.

caitln end

I would say that I like this episode. Even though things didn’t work out for Caitlin. I still say she can do better than that greasy stupid fuck ball. But that’s just my opinion.


Author: Degrassi Guy

Hi there and welcome to my little corner of the Degrassi Universe in the far side of interwebs. For all ten of you who are reading this, welcome! Degrassi Junior High/High was a show produced in Canada that showed the trials and tribulations of every day students. This show tackled everything and I mean everything. From alcoholism, depression, pedophiles, bullies, eating disorders, hitchhiking, death of parents, adoption, teen pregnancy, hiding other products to get condoms so no one will notice. To pornography, suicide, getting the smack down from your mustached boyfriend and getting the guts to get away from him. If I missed anything, trust me. Degrassi didn't. Degrassi was pretty much as real as it got. Especially back when I first started seeing it. Saved by the Bell it was not. You never saw Zack Morris smoking weed, getting Kelly Kapowski pregnant or AC Slater giving Jessie a good beating when she sassed him. So sit back and get ready to reacquaint yourself with the beginning of the Degrassi Universe. For those of you who are new, you don't know what you're in for. But that's a good thing. This is Degrassi Junior High/High seen through my eyes. Basically what I loved and hated. Some of you may disagree with what I think, but that's ok. Mostly though, after all these years later. I still love this cheesy show.

Well what are you waiting for? What did you think?

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