Welcome to the unforgettable 3rd and final season of Degrassi Junior High. We get our first two parter in the season opener. Let’s see what new topics this show will shove down our throats this season.
Pre-credit opener: We see the Wheeler’s enjoying a very boring evening of putting a puzzle of Lake Minnetonka together. Wheels comes in late, apparently he was with Joey and they tell him how they don’t like it that he hangs out with him. So they tell him he can’t anymore. Of course he get’s pissed and begs his parents to please let them be friends, but his dad tells him to get his ass to bed, since the next day is the first day of school. I would say high school but they’re still stuck at good old Degrassi Junior High.
And oh, we finally get some new opening credits. Same song, just different images.
Right off the bat, Fat Nancy is already campaigning for student council president outside of the school. Joey comes by in his skate board and says, “Welcome back to prison.” They all still look the same except for Snake. He got a bit more taller. At this point he’s about 6’8″. Anyways Wheels says, “Stand back, don’t get any closer.” Joey’s all, “Huh.” Snake then informs him that Wheels parents don’t want them to hang out anymore. They bad mouth their parents of course with Wheels saying, “I can sure live without mine.” Oh boy, this is going to haunt him.
Joey goes on to bitch about being stuck in grade 8. And holy shit! Look at this fucking guy. We’re introduced to a new character that looks like Harpo Marx. He avoids Nancy’s annoying ass by going around her. He probably thought that she wanted to devour him, so who can blame him. We see Yick and Arthur walk in. They both look a lot taller now, but Arthur is still a chubby bastard. Both saying that no one’s going to push them around this year. Yick notices Arthur’s expensive looking jacket, but Arthur avoids the question by bragging about what he and his dad did during Summer break.
Along comes that Canadian Screech looking motherfucker and he says that his name is Bartholomew Bond and he’s looking for Ms Avery’s room. Arthur decides to act like Joey and says that he’s head of the welcoming committee and does the same lame hand shake that Joey did too. They call him Bart and he’s get’s pissed. I think we just met the new king of the dipshits.
In walk in Lucy, LD and the twins bitching about being stuck there again for another year. But LD points out that they’ll be doing a few classes at Borden High. So at least there’s that. Meanwhile Yick and Arthur are showing Bart the ropes and then they lead him into the broom closet and shut him in there. They both have terrible flash backs of Joey doing the same shit to them, so they let him out. Yick saying that they still have to fuck with him. So Arthur tells Bart that his class room is right along over there. Turns out it’s Mr Raditch’s grade 8 class.
Kathleen walks in and says that she wants to run for class president too. Melanie says that she wants to help her out, but Kathleen being a shithead doesn’t want any help from her best friend. HAHA! Yick asks Arthur where he wants to sit and Arthur says, “Tough guys always sit at the back.” Arthur drops the bomb that his mom sent Stephanie Kaye to private school. Saying that she even has to wear a uniform. I’m sure she managed to slut it up. Yick points out how rich Arthur is all of a sudden. Arthur get’s pissed and denies it. But I won’t leave you in suspense. Stephanie, Rick and Susie seemed to have gotten the old Chuck from Happy Days treatment or for you younger people, Judy Winslow from Family Matters treatment. They all got the boot this year.
Joey comes in bitching to Wheels why his parents hate him so much for. But it’s pretty obvious, Joey is the dickhead who always manages to get the three of them into deep shit. Scooter passes by and Joey says, “I can’t believe it, a whole year with these little Narbo’s.” Snake and Wheels make fun of Joey and tell him to enjoy being with those little kids. They say, “We’re in high school!” It seems like Scooter and Bart bond over reading the same issue of Superman.
Arthur’s reign as a tough guy has already come to an end. Joey comes in and tells Arthur that he’s sitting in his seat. Joey being a pipsqueak some how manages to intimidate Arthur and so he moves to another seat. But Arthur should know that he can kick Joey’s ass. He out weighs him by 100 pounds. In comes in Mr Raditch and being an asshole he points out how this is Joey’s second time in the 8th grade and tells Joey to switch seats with Arthur. But lucky him, he get’s to sit next to Caitlin.
In the grade 9 class room walks in Mr Garcia. The math pimp. He looks like an overweight, sweaty version of Neil deGrasse Tyson. Wheels and Snake come into his class just as he’s about to shut the door because the bell just rang. Snake apologizes for being late because they couldn’t find their class. But I don’t know how that’s possible, the school is small as hell. Mr Garcia’s all, “It’s fine motherfuckers, just don’t make it a habit.” He then tells the class how they’ll be leaving for Borden High School and the whole class erupts in cheers.
Man it feels like I’m stuck in class with them too. Going through procedures and attendance. Meanwhile Bart raises his hand and tells him that he didn’t call his name. They quickly figure out that he’s in the wrong class. Everyone laughs but Scooter. Saying, “Come on guys, don’t laugh, it’s not his fault.” What a fucking spaz. Raditch keeps talking like a Bond villian and keeps calling him Mr Bond. He tells him to get his goofy ass down stairs to Ms Avery’s class. While he’s doing this stupid Yick and Arthur do a high five. Making it obvious this was their doing. Raditch then says, “Good bye Mr Bond.” Bart yelling out as he’s leaving, “Fuck you Raditch!”
Doris announces the arrival of the buses to take them to Borden. As they’re filing out BLT, Army style is saying, “Left, Right, Left, Right, Left.” Mr Garcia tells him to knock his shit off. Snake is then heard bragging to Wheels what a big shot his brother was there. The girls are all boy crazy, thinking about who they’ll meet.
We’re then introduced to Clutch and Paul. It’s easy to tell them apart, Paul has a huge beach forehead and huge glasses with beady little eyes. They see the Degrassi kids coming by and they start talking shit, saying how they’ll be pushing pennies with their noses. Lucy passes by with another group and catches Paul’s eyes. Clutch saying how desperate Paul must be for liking Lucy.
I guess it’s after school and Joey is asking the guys what they think about Caitlin. Guess he has a thing for her now. Back in Joey’s basement the Zits are recording their song. Apparently Joey has a fucking recording studio down there. They finish and Wheels says that he’s already late and has to go. But they tell him that he can’t leave until they listen to the play back together. He agrees to stay and Joey pushes play and nothing is heard. Dumb fuck forgot to push record.
Wheels comes in and his parents want to have a talk with him. Saying how disappointed they are in him. Abruptly it’s a new school day and both Kathleen and Nancy are campaigning on the school steps. We then see Liz and Spike coming up and they turn around hearing Shane calling for her. God, then we cut to Bart and Scooter. They’re too busy talking about superheroes.
In Raditch’s class Arthur is reading up on stocks and bonds. What an asshole. Yick asks him why he’s been acting like a lame fucking nerd lately, like more than usual. So Arthur finally tells him what’s up. Apparently his mom won the lottery. Over a million dollars, which in today’s world isn’t shit. But anyways, they’re rich now.
In the lighted stair way we see Spike showing baby pictures to all her friends. Spike says that the baby almost died due to being premature. Spike mentions that she was in labor for 12 hours and it hurt like a motherfucker. We’re then introduced to two more new characters. Allison and Amy. Allison can’t hide her disgust at Spike having a kid at 14. Shane hears them and get’s pissed, but doesn’t say anything. He comes asks Spike if that’s Emma in the pictures. Spike get’s all pissed off and says, “Oh now you’re interested after hiding all Summer.” Shane’s all, “I told you bitch, my parents hauled my ass to Summer camp.” “Even though I was way too old for it.” He asks if he read his letters but she says that she didn’t open them. Shit with that info, I would say that she has no right to be pissed at him. Apparently Spike won’t let him see Emma. Man what a cooch.
Apparently Wheels is now forbidden to see Joey. Joey convinces him to come back to his basement to re record the song. Wheels says maybe that night, since his parents are going to a movie.
At his house his mom asks him why he doesn’t want to go to the movie, but Wheels turns it around on why he’s not allowed to see Joey. She tells him that they’ll be back at ten. Before they leave she adds, “About Joey, we only want what’s best for you, we really do love you very much.” In one ear out the other. He makes sure they leave and he calls Joey up to say that he’s on his way to his house.
So finally they got the track recorded and they’re happy with what they’re hearing. Snake and Wheels saying they have to leave. Wheels says that he’s glad he come over. They then point out what a spoiled motherfucker Joey is with all of his equipment and his parents letting him do whatever he wants. They then start going off about their parents. Joey saying that when he turns 16 he’s moving out. He wouldn’t survive five minutes.
Snake and Wheels are then seen walking home, singing their song and they see a patrol car outside of Wheel’s house. Thinking that his parents have gone way over board this time he get’s super pissed at them. Wheels blames Joey for talking him into going to his house, Snake is all, “See ya” and leaves. Out of the patrol car this old lady comes out calling him Derek. Apparently it’s his grandma and she says that there’s been an accident. She says that there was a drunk driver. Apparently he went through a red light. And holy shit, both of his parents are fucking dead!! Wheels can’t believe what he’s hearing and just keeps saying no. And that’s where this episode ends.
So wow, what an opening this is. I guess the writers wanted to shock the hell out of the viewers by writing this episode. This episode is the beginning of the fall of one Derek “Wheels” Wheeler. I just noticed that I’m half way done reviewing the series. So yay!