Degrassi Junior High Reviewed

Degrassi Junior High Reviewed is a blog about the sometimes cheesy, a lot of times badly acted, but beloved Canadian 80's tv series. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who just loves Canadian melodrama. New reviews every week, on Mondays and Thursday's.

Season 2, Episode 12, “He’s Back…”

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Pre-credit opener: It seems like Lucy is having erotic dreams about Mr Colby. Flashing back to when he breathed all over her neck and massaged her shoulder. She wakes up yelling, “NO!” If only she would have told him that to begin with. She lays back down, crying over the fact that the guy touched her arm and shoulders and got away with it. And you know, I gotta say. We haven’t seen Lucy since the first incident, it’s about time she was put back into the show rather than just being in the background.

lucy crying

The next day at school LD is actually acting like a female. Asking Lucy if she wants to go shopping after school because she’s going to a cousin’s wedding on the weekend. I also just barely noticed that she stopped using those awful looking baseball caps. Lucy declines because she’s enjoying doing community work. Helping out taking care of rug rats. Including Susie’s little sister.

Lucy LD

Lucy comes into Doris’s office for whatever reason and she learns that Ms Avery is sick so they have to get a sub. Who’s it going to be? That’s right, none other than Mr Colby and he’s still wearing those god awful sweaters. He looks at Lucy with lust in his eyes and says, “Hello Lucy.” Lucy’s just staring at him, terrified and slowly backs out of the room. As she get’s out Caitlin and Susie are bugging her about pictures for the year book. Lucy on a short fuse says, “Fuck off!” “I’ll give them to you when I can.” They of course get pissed, talking shit after she goes away running down the stairs.

colby lucy
caitlin susie

Oh man, along comes Alex and he wants to talk to Caitlin and Susie about getting 100 dollars for the year book. His big idea? Shoe shine day. Apparently Alex thinks it’s 1940 and that kids actually get their shoes shined. They tell him that it’s a horrible idea and to stop being a schmuck. They want to tell him what they did last year but he wants to figure it out on his own. Meanwhile Scooter comes in all excited announcing they have a sub. Once again they all come up with ways to torment him. He comes in looking more creepy than ever and all the girls fall in lust with him. But I’m telling you, he’s an ugly fuck with ugly ass sweaters.

Mr Colby

After school LD and Wheels spot him in his flasher’s trench coat again. Both can’t believe their fucking eyes. LD points out that Lucy’s dumbass never reported him. They both leave disgusted, but what can they do.

colby wheels ld

In the pre-school or whatever it is, the kids are painting really bad pictures. Susie comes by to come pick up her little sister Nora Jean. But she looks like she’s Lucy’s younger sister instead. She says bye to Lucy and gives her her shitty painting. Susie says, “At least someone hands in their pictures.” Lucy’s all, “Fuck off.”

susie lucy nora jean

The next day in Mr Colby’s class, he has them all in a heated debate about advertisements. They talk about how they use hot women to sell products. The dorky Israeli kid saying, “I’ll buy that for a dollar.” The Asian grandma retorting with, “Bitch you wish.” Everyone get’s a good laugh at the exchange. Melanie and the girl next to her are staring at him like they want to bang him. But the bell is rung and class is dismissed. The girls are left talking in the class room with Melanie saying how much of a piece of man meat he is. Caitlin says, “I think he’s kind of creepy.” Melanie get’s all offended by this. Susie stays behind and asks him for help with the year book. Big mistake there.

In the Degrassi Library LD and Lucy are helping Wheels out with his geometry it looks like. They see Mr Colby walk in and start saying what a sick fuck he is. But Lucy’s all, “Nothing happened.” They tell her that they saw what they saw. Interrupted by the librarian laughing at Mr Colby’s dirty joke of, “Want to hear a joke about my dick?” “Never mind, its too long.” Lucy being very annoying says that it’s her fault for leading him on. LD insists that she should report his nasty ass, but Lucy keeps making excuses.

wheels studying
colby teacher

Seems like it’s after school now and Caitlin can’t help Susie with the stupid year book because of her marks so she has to go home right away. Mr Colby’s sitting at his desk, staring at Susie and waiting to get her alone. The year book set up is hilarious because it just says, Year Book on a wall and the station is just a desk with pictures all over it. He suggests to Susie of making a collage so that everyone is included. He probably has one at home of all his victims.

colby staring

Just as Mr Colby is hovering over Susie, Lucy comes in and interrupts. She drops all of her pictures due to hearing Mr Colby giving her the moves as a voice over in her head. Thus begins the great Degrassi chase across the school. I swear Mr Colby chases her all over the place. It ends as he corners her in the gym. Darkened of course. Too bad The Zit Remedy can’t practice anymore. He approaches her slowly and goes into creep mode again with his voice. He says, “You were lonely and needed someone to talk to.” “All we did was talk.” And then he says that it was just all in her head. As he comes closer Lucy tells him that she’ll scream if he tries to touch her. He lays the shit she dropped on the ground and just leaves her there alone.

lucy colby

The next day Alex comes up to Susie with yet another stupid ass idea. Casino day. And he has enlarged playing cards to sell the point. Once again Susie tells him that it’s a horrible idea because it’s gambling and they’re a bunch of kids. She runs into Colby and says that he’ll be staying after school to help her. As Lucy is walking down the darkened stair way she over hears Melanie telling Kathleen that Ms Avery might be gone for a week. She instantly panics as she hears this and see’s him with Susie. Even doing the first move of putting his hand on her shoulder. Lucy tries to warn her about Mr Colby but Susie blows her off because let’s face it, Lucy’s being very vague about the whole thing.

alex casino day
susie lucy

In the Library Colby once again makes the librarian laugh with another dirty joke, “Real men don’t wear pink, they eat it.” Once again she laughs her ass off like it’s the most hilarious thing she’s ever heard. Meanwhile Lucy’s having another voice over flash back while staring at the two of them. LD sneaks up behind her and makes the mistake of putting her hand on her shoulder. Lucy’s all, “Don’t touch me!” LD’s like, “Calm your ass down.” Lucy runs off after the bell rings and LD points out how fucked up Lucy is about the whole getting molested thing. LD and Wheels insist that she report him but once again she makes excuses. She finally get’s pissed after they take no for an answer and shouts, “Just leave me alone!” LD saying after she leaves, “Well fuck you.”

ld lucy wheels

Caitlin again is abandoning Susie after school with the year book thing. Colby decides it’s time to make his move and here we’re about to get creeped out all over again. Ready? With history repeating itself, we get the shot of Louella mopping the joint and singing to herself. Showing that the school is slowly being emptied out. Colby shuts the door and get’s into seductive mode. Talking all softly. He sure seems to have a thing for the black girls I’ve noticed. He uses the old line of saying how mature Susie is. She get’s creeped out a little already. He puts both hands on her shoulders and says, “Don’t be so tense.” Susie says she has to go and he presses his hands harder on her shoulder trying to force her down. All the while saying, “Relax.” Susie can’t take it anymore and yells, “NO!” And get’s up and just narrowly escapes the sex dungeon he calls Ms Avery’s room. Colby looks around the room and seems to slowly realize that he’s pretty fucked here.

susie touched
susie escaping
colby fucked

Fittingly Lucy is reading to Nora Jean about wolves in a fairy tale book. Knowing full well that there’s one in their school in really terrible looking sweaters. Anyways Susie comes into the pre-school crying her eyes out, telling Nora Jean it’s time to go home. Lucy see’s and asks her what’s up. She asks her if she’s ok and confronts her about Mr Colby. Lucy keeps asking if he touched her and Susie replies with, “What do you care?!” Then Lucy drops the bomb that he also put his filthy mitts on her too, stopping Susie in her tracks. Susie crying says that she trusted and liked the perv. Both Lucy and Nora Jean give her a hug.

lucy susie

The next day Alex comes with his latest stupid idea for raising money. A walk a thon. Caitlin points out that everyone is going to be too busy studying for their exams. He finally gives in and asks what they did last year to raise more money. Caitlin tells him that they just asked Doris Bell for more money. Stunned he says, “That’s it?” What a dope.

caitlin alex

Outside Doris’s office Lucy, LD and Wheels are waiting for Susie to show up. Just as Susie is coming in looking down as hell, Melanie comes up to her and gabs that Mr Colby’s gone. He called in sick and they’re getting another sub. Melanie is heart broken, but Susie is elated. She figures she doesn’t have to report him now. Even telling Lucy, LD and Wheels that she’s sort of glad that she doesn’t have to deal with it it. Wheels and LD have a massive look of disappointment on their faces but Lucy says fuck that. That they still have to report him because he’ll just do it to someone else. Maybe even Nora Jean in the future. This finally convinces Susie. They go up to Doris and say they need to talk to Mr Lawrence. Doris saying that it’ll have to be very important. The episode ends with Susie saying, “It is.”

end credits

But you’ve got to me kidding me??!! We couldn’t see what happened to that sick bastard?! Come on Degrassi writers! Give me a little bone here, I wanted to see just a little bit of sweet revenge. But they didn’t give us shit. I guess we’re supposed to assume that Mr Colby got arrested, fired and is in prison now. Where in there, he’s the sweet cherry pie.


Author: Degrassi Guy

Hi there and welcome to my little corner of the Degrassi Universe in the far side of interwebs. For all ten of you who are reading this, welcome! Degrassi Junior High/High was a show produced in Canada that showed the trials and tribulations of every day students. This show tackled everything and I mean everything. From alcoholism, depression, pedophiles, bullies, eating disorders, hitchhiking, death of parents, adoption, teen pregnancy, hiding other products to get condoms so no one will notice. To pornography, suicide, getting the smack down from your mustached boyfriend and getting the guts to get away from him. If I missed anything, trust me. Degrassi didn't. Degrassi was pretty much as real as it got. Especially back when I first started seeing it. Saved by the Bell it was not. You never saw Zack Morris smoking weed, getting Kelly Kapowski pregnant or AC Slater giving Jessie a good beating when she sassed him. So sit back and get ready to reacquaint yourself with the beginning of the Degrassi Universe. For those of you who are new, you don't know what you're in for. But that's a good thing. This is Degrassi Junior High/High seen through my eyes. Basically what I loved and hated. Some of you may disagree with what I think, but that's ok. Mostly though, after all these years later. I still love this cheesy show.

Well what are you waiting for? What did you think?

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