Pre-credit opener: Kathleen comes in all excited saying that she made the team. Which team? Who knows. She finds her mom on the couch, drunk as shit. And no wonder, because the place is a complete fucking mess. The phone then rings and it’s her dad. She mentions that she made the team for Quest for the Best. She get’s sad at the fact that her dad won’t be able to make it. Man, now that I think if it, no wonder that she’s such a bitch. Just look at her home life.
In Ms Avery’s class she get’s interrupted by Mr Lawrence on the intercom, he’s announcing the Quest for the Best team. Seems like Kathleen, Caitlin, Tracy Morgan and Fat Nancy made the team. Everyone’s cheering them on. But really who cares. Another announcement comes on and says that tickets will be available the next day. Who knew they would be such a hot commodity.
Fat Nancy comes along and gives everyone copies of questions they can practice with. They then start talking about how proud their parents are going to be. Kathleen starts bragging about how her mom is going to get her a brand new outfit for the occasion. Caitlin like the rest of us gets annoyed and says, “No one’s going to see it under your school sweater.” Kathleen being a smug bitch replies with, “Sure they will.” Fat Nancy then mentions how they’re going to practice the next day, Kathleen saying, “I don’t need any practice.” After she leaves Caitlin copies her and calls her a jerk. I love how everyone agrees because they all hate her.
Oh man, we go outside and see Scooter talking to another geek named Max. Who we will never hear from again. Both of them have the smallest shorts known to mankind. And like the couple of dweebs that they are, they’re talking about their many Dungeons and Dragons woes. Arthur and Yick hear this and Arthur says, “Dungeons and Dragons?” “That’s for nerds.” Yick points out that it’s even worse than having a wagon around and holy shit. That’s exactly what Scooter had tied up on the bike racks. Scooter points out that it’s bad when other nerds call them nerds. Max comes up with the idea that they should become like Rick. Scooter saying, “He’s as cool as a Popsicle.”
The next day the team is practicing for the game show. Nancy getting nothing but food questions. The question of alcohol comes up and Kathleen says, “Drinking is stupid.” She sounds like a fucking prude but if they only knew. Ms Avery then comes around with an ancient VHS tape so that they can check out the competition. Tracy Morgan says that the school VCR is broken and no one can go to Caitlin’s because they have company over. Caitlin then points out how Kathleen bragged about having a VCR when they first got it. She doesn’t want to go, but she has no choice but to bring the gang over to her terrible household.
Max and Scooter end up scoring tickets to the stupid game show and as they’re leaving they run into Rick and knock his shit down. They pick it up and notice that he has a weird looking box of cigarettes. Max comes up with the idea of picking up smoking since Rick is cool and does it. After school they head on over to a pizzeria and try to get cigarettes out of a machine but the fucking thing cheats them of their money. The pizza dude then yells at them and off they go running like a couple of little kids that they are.
Kathleen and her crew then come to her filthy house and Tracy points out that the place is a pig sty. Fat Nancy saying, “I guess the maid has the year off.” Kathleen get’s pissed and says that she told them that her mom is sick. So they start watching the episode and the music is so corny. Seems like a public access tv show that no one watches. Kathleen’s mom then comes stumbling down the stairs with a bottle of tequila and proceeds to humiliate her. She says, “If they’re so smart, why don’t they say anything?” The team leaves the house, completely put off by her drunken boorish behavior. Kathleen then runs up stairs crying her eyes out while her mom lays down on the couch and sort of enjoys the rest of the program.
The next day at school Rick comes along looking like Danny Zuko from Grease with his Degrassi Junior High letterman sweater. Everyone starts making fun of him and I swear BLT slaps his ass. Anyways, he comes up to Caitlin and asks her if she wants to go get a burger after the big show. She says sure, but is all preoccupied. Crusader Caitlin then comes out. One of her more annoying traits. She mentions how Kathleen’s mom is a lousy drunk and maybe Kathleen needs someone to talk to. Rick rightly says, “If she wants to talk, she’ll talk.” “I say butt out.” But does she listen? Of course not.
Scooter then comes along with his fucking wagon and Max shows him some cigarettes that he stole from his dad. He tells Scooter, “Be there, or be a nerd.” Scooter is beside himself, he has no idea what to do.
The Asian grandma is seen asking Kathleen some more practice questions and Caitlin comes along and interrupts. Showing that she doesn’t want to give Kathleen any privacy, she attempts to talk to her about her mom’s drunkenness. Rick meanwhile passes by looking at Caitlin like, “I fucking told you to stay out of it.” But Kathleen will have none of it. Saying that her mom is perfectly fine. Caitlin get’s all butt hurt and tells Kathleen that she was only trying to help and now she doesn’t care. I gotta say, Caitlin is terrible at trying to help people or have a cause.
Max and Scooter then decide to blaze up a cigarette in the boys rest room stall. They start coughing like crazy of course, Wai Lee and some other kid notice the fucking vapor of smoke right above them.
The team is now set to head on over to the public access studio for the game show. But stupid Kathleen forgot her sweater at home. She comes up with the idea that she’ll call her drunken mother to bring it to her. The rest of the team knows what’s up and think that Kathleen is fucked here.
Rick and Alex then come along and ask Doris for some tickets but Doris informs them that they’re all gone. Rick getting pissed off about it. But why is Rick even interested in this bullshit for? Oh that’s right, because he likes Caitlin. Rick’s still bitching about not being able to finger Caitlin later on but Max and Scooter come to the rescue. Those two dip shits made themselves sick so they give Rick and Alex their tickets. Another question. Why is Rick hanging out with Alex for?
The team finally arrives at the studio and this smelly, hairy looking Israeli guy tells them to take their spots since the start of the show is imminent. They all point out their parents, but of course Kathleen’s mom couldn’t make it due to her being drunk off her ass again. So Kathleen is pretty boned here. Or is she? After having a mini melt down, Rick comes up and gives her his school sweater. The Israeli dude telling him to sit his ass down, Rick says, “Yeah, yeah.”
The show finally starts and quiz master Skip Wankman comes out. The song You’re the Best Around from The Karate Kid would have been perfect in this scene. But no. I doubt the Degrassi production could even afford that song. Kathleen fucks up the first question because she’s so distracted of the fact that her mom is a no show. After the other team misses their question Kathleen becomes a quiz fucking master. The crowd of a dozen people cheer their asses off. I just noticed that Melanie was there too. Guess she had nothing better to do.
Afterwards we learn that Degrassi Junior High kicked ass and took names as well. Rick then grabs Caitlin’s hand and asks if she’s ready to eat some burgers and have some classic heavy petting afterwards. But Caitlin turns him down, because it’s a school night. How lame of her. Rick then offers to walk Kathleen home because she obviously has no ride. I love how no one offered because they all hate her. Even Ms Avery, probably because Kathleen was telling everyone that she’s a carpet muncher.
We then come to the heart to heart moment of the episode. Rick brings up her drunk mother and Kathleen get’s instantly defensive. Rick then blurts out, “Nobody’s parents are perfect you know.” Then says that it’s ok to take care of her mom, but that Kathleen has to take care of herself too because her mom is a grown ass woman. Rick then mentions how he had problems with his dad and called a teen hot line and got help. I think he talked to Nitro, but it was really Zack Morris.
Kathleen get’s home and her mom is drunk of course. Kathleen tells her that they won and her mom bullshitting says that she’ll be there next time. This pushes Kathleen off the cliff and she goes off on her mom. She points out how she’s just a kid and shouldn’t be taking care of her drunk ass. Her mom slurs that she has her drinking perfectly under control and that she’s her mother and that she shouldn’t be talking to her like that. Kathleen replies with, “You’re not my mother.” “You’re a drunk.” Then her mom slaps the shit out of her. Kathleen shocked, runs up stairs while her mom says that she’s sorry. And then to really jam it down our throats they show a bottle of whatever her mom got fucked up with as she slithers on the stairs and promptly falls asleep.
The next day Kathleen is the bee knees because she’s the hero of the game show. Caitlin can’t help being nosy as hell. She asks her how her mom is doing. Kathleen get’s instantly annoyed and says fine! Rick comes and says hi. Caitlin apologizes for being lame the night before. Kathleen gives Rick his sweater back and thanks him for walking her home. Caitlin get’s instantly jealous. Kathleen then mentions how she’s going to take Rick’s advice and call that hotline. And that’s how the episode ends with Caitlin gawking behind Kathleen all jealous.
I guess this episode pointed out how smoking and drinking is bad and so is Caitlin when it comes to actually trying to help people. She’ll prove this again and again. Just you watch.