Degrassi Junior High Reviewed

Degrassi Junior High Reviewed is a blog about the sometimes cheesy, a lot of times badly acted, but beloved Canadian 80's tv series. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who just loves Canadian melodrama. New reviews every week, on Mondays and Thursday's.

Season 1, Episode 6, “Rumor Has It”

3 Comments

This is another good one. Two in a row. WOO!

Pre credit opener: We see Caitlin going on about how much of a great teacher Ms Avery is. She then calls Caitlin up to the head of the class and then *gasp* Ms Avery puts her arm around Caitlin and Caitlin puts her arm around Ms Avery. Then Ms Avery goes on about how Caitlin is the best student she’s ever had. Ok, what the fuck is going on here?!

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Then Kathleen, the wicked bitch of Degrassi Junior High starts saying, “Ms Avery’s gay you know.” “She’s a lesbian.” Then the whole class starts hissing about how gay she is. Caitlin goes into a panic and then we see that she wakes up. Turns out she was having erotic lesbianic dreams of Ms Avery. I can dig how she finds her attractive subconsciously. She does have a Dance’s With Wolves vibe going for her and it’s hot with two T’s.

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Caitlin and Susie then come walking to Degrassi Junior High and talk about some stupid boring slumber party they’re going to have and then Caitlin starts lusting after Rick again. Or is she really? Hmm. Then Kathleen and the Punky Brewster wannabe see Ms Avery getting out of a car with a woman driver and that bitch Kathleen wonders out loud if Ms Avery is a lesbian.

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So in Ms Avery’s class Yick and Arthur are giving a really boring presentation on Neighborhood watches. Thank God it only lasts about 20 seconds. Then Kathleen asks Caitlin about the slumber party. Why would you want to invite a shithead like her for? Oh and Punky Brewster’s name is actually Annie. Did we need to know that? Nope, not at all. Ms Avery then asks Caitlin how her photography assignment is going. Then she puts her hands on Caitlin’s shoulder, Caitlin instantly shudders in ecstasy.

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After class, Mr Raditch appears to be flirting with Ms Avery. Annie I guess I should call her says that she loves the thought of Ms Avery and Mr Raditch fucking.

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Kathleen again goes on about Ms Avery being gay and proud. I noticed they say “lezzies.” Melanie over hears and points out what a bigoted asshole Kathleen is being. This upset Melanie so much that her mushroom hair grew two sizes too big that day.

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Damn it! I thought we were done with Yick and Arthur. But here we go with their boring B plot. Let me just say that most of their story lines are juvenile as hell. Or maybe I’m so much older than the target audience that I’m the problem? No. It’s the writers of this show who are wrong.

Anyways, Yick is showing what a dirty fucker he is is by going through his nasty garbage filled locker. I think this is where Sars came from. Unsurprisingly he can’t find a 20 dollar bill his dad gave him to buy new shoes. Ok, what the hell shoes is he going to buy for 20 dollars?! Probably the cheap as shit Kangaroo brand. Since he can’t find it, then they decide to blame it on a thief.

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It’s slumber party time! The girls are making really lame and unoriginal prank calls to different people. Including Mr Raditch. Caitlin then has her turn to do a dumb prank call and she get’s to call Ms Avery. Surprise, surprise. She calls and holy shit another woman picked up! This pretty much confirms everything for Kathleen. Even saying she saw Ms Avery holding hands with a woman the other day.

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So the next day Kathleen and Annie are outside the school before it starts and Ms Avery comes up in a car and Christ! She kissed a woman right on the cheek! The evidence is piling up on Ms A.

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Yick and Arthur are still trying to figure out who stole Yicks money. Even using a finger print kit. But of course they have no common sense, they have no way to match anything. What a couple of stupid fucks. Rick comes by offering people some gross licorice and bragging about how he won 100 dollars in the lottery. So because he’s hella poor, he becomes their prime suspect.

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Kathleen showing no social tact is now spreading the rumor that Ms Avery is gay.

Apparently Degrassi Junior High has a dark room and Susie wonders what lesbians do to each other. Man if only the internet was around then. She’d tell Caitlin, “Know what I saw the other day?” “Guy having sex with two horses.” Caitlin is way too defensive about Ms Avery and Susie points out how Caitlin is acting weird about it. That night Caitlin has another erotic dream. But this time the kids are saying that Caitlin’s gay. Shouting, “gay” “gay”. Then, “lesbian” “lesbian” Geesh!

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Kathleen proving what a pitiful bitch she really is, is now spreading rumors that Caitlin is gay, spewing all her bullshit to her good friend Susie. Even going as far as saying, “be careful, she’s going to try to give you some gay too.” Kathleen seriously needs to be kicked in her cooch because now she planted some seeds of  doubt in Susie’s feeble mind.

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So the B plot is moving along, Yick and Arthur are following Rick around and even go as far as staring at him taking a piss. WTF?! Rick just thinks that they want some licorice too, so he throws some at them. By the way, I don’t think he washed his hands so it’s pissed flavored now.

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Back in the Degrassi Junior High dark room Susie won’t shut the fuck up about various subjects and Caitlin catches on. She ask’s her what’s up and then they brush hands and Susie freaks out and spills all her fears out. Asking her point blank if Caitlin prefers muff. Caitlin then storms out. Very upset and confused.

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So much so that we cut to a shot of her in her bed talking to her Teddy Ruxpin wondering what it’s like to lead the lesbian life.

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The next day Caitlin now freaks out and tells Ms Avery not to touch her. Ms Avery knows that something is up and asks her to stay behind. So they have a heart to heart about all the lesbian dreams she’s been having and the rumor about Ms Avery being gay. Ms Avery fixes everything in about 3 minutes, telling Caitlin that all the rumors are bullshit and that she kisses most of her women friends. Big deal!

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We finally close out the Rick, Yick, Arthur thing. Rick basically tells them that he didn’t steal Yicks money and tells them to fuck off or else next time he’ll shove a cigarette up their asses.

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Later on it turns out that that stupid asshole Yick had it in his locker all long. He couldn’t find it because he’s such a goddamn slob. If they would have used some logic and common sense they would have searched the entire locker first before blaming someone. Arthur calls him a “broomhead” for almost getting him killed by that bad seed Rick. Now Yick can buy his kid size Voltron Velcro shoes.

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Afterwards Caitlin tells Ms Avery about her dreams and Ms Avery explains that those are perfectly normal too. Since kids that age are going through many, many changes.

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Apparently Mr Raditch and Ms Avery are fucking because Mr Raditch is waiting in his K car waiting to give Ms Avery the D.

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Caitlin then says that she learned the lesson of not listening to an asshole like Kathleen. That Ms Avery sure is wise. She fixed all of Caitlin’s problems before the show ended!

I gotta say, even though I said this was one of the better episodes of this series. I had a bit of trouble writing this one out because Arthur and Yick’s story line was pretty dull and went no where. I can’t wait till they get phased out a bit in high school, but that’s still a long way off. The pain and suffering I go through for you people.

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Author: Degrassi Guy

Hi there and welcome to my little corner of the Degrassi Universe in the far side of interwebs. For all ten of you who are reading this, welcome! Degrassi Junior High/High was a show produced in Canada that showed the trials and tribulations of every day students. This show tackled everything and I mean everything. From alcoholism, depression, pedophiles, bullies, eating disorders, hitchhiking, death of parents, adoption, teen pregnancy, hiding other products to get condoms so no one will notice. To pornography, suicide, getting the smack down from your mustached boyfriend and getting the guts to get away from him. If I missed anything, trust me. Degrassi didn't. Degrassi was pretty much as real as it got. Especially back when I first started seeing it. Saved by the Bell it was not. You never saw Zack Morris smoking weed, getting Kelly Kapowski pregnant or AC Slater giving Jessie a good beating when she sassed him. So sit back and get ready to reacquaint yourself with the beginning of the Degrassi Universe. For those of you who are new, you don't know what you're in for. But that's a good thing. This is Degrassi Junior High/High seen through my eyes. Basically what I loved and hated. Some of you may disagree with what I think, but that's ok. Mostly though, after all these years later. I still love this cheesy show.

3 thoughts on “Season 1, Episode 6, “Rumor Has It”

  1. Oh, “Annie”. I feel like knowing her first name is even less important because they didn’t even bother with a last name.

    You always notice when people don’t wash their hands! So do i!

  2. A bad drinking game for this episode: take a shot every time someone says “lesbian” you’ll be drunk by the opening credits.

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