Degrassi Junior High Reviewed

Degrassi Junior High Reviewed is a blog about the sometimes cheesy, a lot of times badly acted, but beloved Canadian 80's tv series. Each episode will be reviewed in order by a guy who just loves Canadian melodrama. New reviews every week, on Mondays and Thursday's.

Season 1, Episode 3, “The Experiment”

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Pre credit opener: We see Yick sit down and busts out a Spectacular Spiderman comicbook. Mr Raditch walks in with Arthur showing him his new Inspector Gadget wrist watch. Raditch being a sarcastic asshole asks him if he can get the ball game on it. So class begins and we quickly see that Yick is a bit of a slob. Arthur then asks Yick if he’s going for the basketball team. Yicks says yes and Arthur says that he too is going out for it. Meanwhile Yick get’s the wrath of Mr Raditch for talking in class. He says, “Mr Yick Yu!” “Who else?” Then he calls him “Yu the disorganized” for obvious reasons, because he’s a pig. I mean, just look at his desk. Mr Raditch then talks down to him and tells him to pay attention. Yick feeling sorry for himself says that Mr Raditch is always picking on him.

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After class Arthur goes to Stephanie’s locker and asks her for his smelly gym shoes that she brought from her house because he left them there. He informs her that he’s going for the basketball team and Steph can’t believe her fucking ears. Because it’s pretty clear that Arthur has no athletic grace or coordination in his body. And once again she reminds him to stay away from her because she’s so ashamed of the fact that they’re brother and sister. What a bitch.

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Joey Jeremiah comes along with Wheels and calls Arthur “Artie Smarty” and says a really lame unfunny joke that only he is amused by. What’s with the stupid beret he has on anyways? We then meet two grade 7 girls, Melanie and Kathleen. Kathleen is one of the characters that I hate the most on this show. Anyways, Melanie goes on about wanting to go to parties with music and boys and potato chips because they’re in Junior High now. What a lameo. Then she goes on about wanting to do drugs. Maybe she wants something to help fill in that sunken chest of hers. Geesh.

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We then cut to the basketball try outs. It’s pretty obvious that Arthur sucks donkey dicks. Missing shot after shot. Shane the dude that looks like Bill S Preston Esquire from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure won’t stop making fun of him. Yick makes the first shot and I guess instantly makes the team. Arthur then asks Yick for pointers on how to even shoot the goddamn ball. Yick tells him not to throw the ball like a sissy and then they give up and talk about how Yick is terrible in Mr Raditch’s Language class.

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After the disaster of shooting hoops Yick and Arthur go to Degrassi Junior High’s version of the Peach Pit. The location wasn’t used a lot.

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Arthur then comes up with the brilliant idea of using a paper from last year that Yick can use to hand in. Arthur once again proving what a lame fucking nerd he is, calculates on his watch how many papers Raditch has seen in a year.

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Yick asks, “how are we going to pull this off?” and Arthur says from Stephanie. Yick is all, “how the fuck are you going to get her paper?” and Arthur tells him not to ask and to mind his business.

Behind Joey, Melanie and Kathleen are still going on about drugs and that shithead Joey manages to hear their conversation over all the racket that’s around him.

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Joey then introduces himself and I swear I’m not making this up, as “Joey F Jeremiah. F for pharmacy.” They should have told him to fuck off right then and there for coming off as a greasy jackass. He then asks them what they want? Naming all sorts of stupid names for drugs, the biggie being “New Zealand Zappers.”

Arthur then goes to see Stephanie Kaye and asks her for her old assignment to give to that lazy bastard Yick. Explaining that it’s for an “experiment” he wants to try. Then he takes it to Yick’s house all cloak and dagger style.

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The next day Melanie and Kathleen meet up with Joey in the shady part of Degrassi Junior High. The darkened stair way. He then sells them “New Zealand Zappers.” Wheel’s asks Joey if he’s lost his fucking mind and Joey explains that they’re just his Flintstones vitamin pills. Meanwhile the girls take them and actually think that they’re tripping balls. The power of the minds of two complete idiots.

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So they go to class “fucked up” and Yick hands in his bullshit paper. Raditch can’t believe his eyes that this lazy fuck is actually handing it in early. The prick still calls him “Yu the disorganized” though.

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The next day Raditch is giving back the graded papers and actually gives Yick an A-, even going as far to say that he’s proud of him. Yick being a dumbass can’t get around the fact that he did better than what Stephanie did last year. So yeah, at this point I’m pretty fucking bored with this story line.

Taking advantage of Arthur, Yick then asks for another paper of Stephanie Kaye’s, just to “experiment” some more. Arthur points out that Yick is full of shit and that he’s now cheating. But Yick still manages to convince his dweeb friend to get another paper. So he goes back to Stephanie’s house and asks for another paper. She’s tells him to fuck off, but then Arthur points out that he hasn’t outed her yet as being Degrassi Junior High’s resident hussy. She say’s, “that’s black mail.” And Arthur says with a smirk on his face, “that’s right bitch.” So she has no choice but to give him the paper.

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Melanie and Kathleen return with two other grade 7  nerds. This girl in a wheel chair who never speaks and this Israeli dorky kid I’m guessing. He sells them more pills and off they go to make complete asses of themselves.

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So they go into Mr Raditch’s class room laughing like maniacs and class begins. He says that he found Yick’s paper to be really good, but not half as good as when Stephanie Kaye turned it in last year. Holy shit, the jig is up! I was expecting Yick to say, “this bird’s gonna fly” and jump out the window. But he just sat there and took it up the ass by Raditch.

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Arthur then admits that he gave Yick the paper and why it was so strange that Yick got a better grade than his whore of a sister. Yick says that he stereotypes people. But if that was true, then Raditch would have thought that Yick was the typical brainiac Asian. Turns out that Yick is a complete dumb fuck.

So he gives them detention and they’re supposed to write a paper on why cheating is wrong. Yick declares, “fuck that yo, I’m not writing shit!”

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Arthur tells him that they should because he’s a big fat jerkoff loser and Yick  throwing a tantrum like a baby throws the fact in Arthur’s face that he’s a terrible basketball player and see if he ever helps his fat ass again. Arthur get’s pissed and points out what a worthless lazy shithead Yick is and that he only wants to take the easy way out.

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Yick, taking the typical Steve Urkel route feels sorry for himself after he’s been called out for being a lazy asshole. But then decides to write something and off his pencil goes.

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Back at the lame kid’s diner. Melanie hears Joey bragging about what stupid assholes the girls are and that he cheated them out of their money. So the grade 7 geeks decide it’s payback time. Revenge of the Nerds, Degrassi Junior High style. The next day the group confronts Joey and tells him that they know he was full of shit and want their money back. But he tells them that he already spent the money and got himself another obnoxious Hawaiian shirt.

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And like a weasel he takes off running and the group follows, the wheel chair girl burning rubber behind him.

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Mr Raditch wants to talk about a paper he received and reads it out loud. Basically it touched his heart so much that it made his asshole clench. He apologizes for being a prick and promises to never again call Yick “Yu the disorganized” and gives Yick a second chance.

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After school Arthur and Yick are talking about the important lesson they both learned. They then hear someone calling from the maintenance closet and there’s Joey. Stripped from his terrible clothes except for his tighty whities.

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They call him a broomhead and slam the door shut on his pathetic little pecker. Then they do a Top Gun windmill high five and walk out into the sunset.

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Author: Degrassi Guy

Hi there and welcome to my little corner of the Degrassi Universe in the far side of interwebs. For all ten of you who are reading this, welcome! Degrassi Junior High/High was a show produced in Canada that showed the trials and tribulations of every day students. This show tackled everything and I mean everything. From alcoholism, depression, pedophiles, bullies, eating disorders, hitchhiking, death of parents, adoption, teen pregnancy, hiding other products to get condoms so no one will notice. To pornography, suicide, getting the smack down from your mustached boyfriend and getting the guts to get away from him. If I missed anything, trust me. Degrassi didn't. Degrassi was pretty much as real as it got. Especially back when I first started seeing it. Saved by the Bell it was not. You never saw Zack Morris smoking weed, getting Kelly Kapowski pregnant or AC Slater giving Jessie a good beating when she sassed him. So sit back and get ready to reacquaint yourself with the beginning of the Degrassi Universe. For those of you who are new, you don't know what you're in for. But that's a good thing. This is Degrassi Junior High/High seen through my eyes. Basically what I loved and hated. Some of you may disagree with what I think, but that's ok. Mostly though, after all these years later. I still love this cheesy show.

8 thoughts on “Season 1, Episode 3, “The Experiment”

  1. A+ I LAUGHED!

  2. “this bird’s gonna fly” LOL! Good work, broomhead! Thanks for the enjoyment.

    • Thanks smurfkisser. You’re such a narbo. Another insult they use in this show. Don’t ask me what it means. I’m as clueless as you are. But I’m glad you’re enjoying it. I’m reviewing it so you won’t have to watch it. It really has a cheesy after school special vibe to it. But damn it. I love this fucking show!

  3. Fuckin cow pie! I am thrilled that I don’t have to watch this shit. The best part was seeing Joey in the damn closet, stripped of his dignity. He got to keep his hat,so that is something. Anyway, the story line did suck, but you did a good job amusing me with the review.

  4. I am pretty sure that Israeli guy who buys New Zealand Zappers is the same guy I’ve mentioned in my blog about frequently wearing short shorts. He’s hard to make out in this episode, but I think it’s the same guy. I think he’s an “extra” for a long time on this show!

    • HAHA! That’s hilarious. I never noticed his short shorts before. I’m thinking of doing an entry of the top 10 background characters on this show. He would definitely be in it along with Fat Nancy.

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